Deep End Of The Ocean!
by coruba
Summary: Losing the love of her life after sacrificing her world in the future to be with him was not something Kagome expected after two hundred years. With no one left except for a stoic brother in law. Can she survive the turbulent years ahead, when the future seems so uncertain?
1. Chapter 1

**An:** This is not a new story. I had posted maybe ten or so chapters of Deep end of the Ocean before but had taken it down for personal reasons, anyhow, I have since made some changes to it, however, the plot and original story line remains the same. This story is rated **M** for a reason, there will be violence, dubious sexual situations, drama, angst and somewhere in it all some romance. Please read and enjoy, and I hope the second time around will be better.

 **I do not own or claim to own Inuyasha or any merchandise associated with the series!**

Through the muddy terrain, Kagome and a small group forged their way with acute caution to the final resting place of a beloved friend while tirelessly coping with angry showers pouring from a cold cheerless sky, and the rising breeze which made them unsteady. Suddenly she felt the sliver of the icy weather as it sucked the warmth from her bones and shivered. In all of the two hundred years that she'd lived in the past she could not remember a November so cold and miserable.

As she continued to tread, carefully placing one foot in front of the other to avoid a fall she glanced on either side of the dirt road. The swaying trees resembled eerie shadows in the bleak afternoon, compounding the gloom and making it almost impossible to see. She could only assume from this point onward that perhaps in another minute or so they would be at their destination.

A short time later the group paused near a cluster of Oak trees that seemed to block the path ahead, but she knew better, it was the path that led straight into the forest. As if on cue, a few seconds later each person started to move again. They turned off the main road and into the wilderness where the ground was even more slippery; someone in front stumbled almost causing the heavy wooden box with the remains of the half demon Inuyasha to be dislodged. Luckily they were able to avoid a mishap.

The wilderness with its giant trees and overhanging boughs offered them some protection from the elements and the grieving woman sighed in relief. In the mild shelter of the tall trees on either side of them they could see the Tree of Ages standing magnificent and sturdy up ahead. She stilled for just a moment and watched the raindrops beat against the ashen bark of the ancient monument as she remembered the first time that her eyes had beheld an unbelievable sight. It was her first glimpse of a dog-eared creature pinned to its trunk, stuck in a magical sleep with an arrow protruding from his chest.

She sighed with the memory and then looked up in the dark skies; the rain hit her face washing away the lingering tears. As the raindrops fell, she closed her eyes shielding them from the frosty cold. Suddenly the wind picked up again, the heavy breeze swept under her feet giving her no other recourse than to dig her feet into the soft earth to keep her balance. She lowered her head after a while only to see her companions had stopped moving and were thoughtfully gazing at her. Her lips parted as though she meant to say something but then she closed them again without uttering one word and carried on.

The more she walked the more mud squished between her toes as muck overflowed into her getas. It felt cold and strange like her heart that had turned to ice. She didn't belong here now that Inuyasha was dead, and she couldn't go back to her time either. To move forward was something she felt that she could not do by herself, though she must.

There wasn't any light left in her world. She and her half demon never had children even though they'd tried ceaselessly throughout the years. All of her human friends had died many years ago, and Inuyasha her only friend, lover and husband was the last to go, leaving her alone and desperate was a fate worse than death.

Inuyasha's final resting place stood fifty paces away, her steps faltered and she felt that her palms had dampened further in the cold and the rain; then suddenly her heart of ice cracked now that the grave was right in front of her.

The wooden box slid in the mud as it was unburdened. The hole in the earth's floor by the base of the tree gathered water and she wondered idly if he would be cold when they buried him in the sodden grave.

 _"Lady Kagome is there anything that you would like to say before we lay him to rest?"_ The voice of the priest said over the rustling wind.

She shook her head no, and sniffled as she gazed upon the box.

He nodded to her and then gestured to the others to come closer. The group gathered around the gravesite. Soon he began to pray earnestly for Inuyasha's half tainted soul. Kagome listened with indifference, distracted entirely by an aura made faint by the bad weather. The aura lingered until the first heap of wet dirt dropped on the casket.

She turned away from the others immediately afterwards and hurried after the retreating aura, she couldn't let him get away. He was the only family that she had left in spite of not seeing him in over one hundred and fifty years. He had stopped visiting the village after Rin had died.

Her legs felt uncomfortable and heavy as she ran, and her soaked clothes weighed her down even more. The left heel of her geta broke as it crashed against a jutting stone; she shook both footwear from her feet and ran harder.

Her heart pounded, the sound vibrated in her ears as she chased the elusive demon down, but to her dismay she wasn't gaining any ground. Where could he be? She wondered anxiously as her eyes swept the area maddeningly.

She gasped losing a breath as a white silhouette moved between the trees in the gray then disappeared. The thought of him leaving her alone without another soul who understood her plight forced her mind into action and a shout of his name tore pass her lips.

 _"Sesshomaru please wait!"_

She knew that he had heard but would he stop, would he answer her call. She had no way of knowing, she could only hope as after all, he had come to say goodbye to his only sibling although he had done it from afar.

Tired she held onto a tree; the rain poured again prickling as it hit her flesh. In the quiet she sensed his un-moving aura and knew that he had answered her plea because now he waits.

She padded barefooted in the mud using her senses to find him. Approaching the top of an elevation, a smallish hill she spotted him across the way. He had his back turned to her as he stood still; Kagome scrambled almost on her hands and knees the rest of the way just to get to him.

She stood behind him staring at his back for a full minute before he turned around and gazed at her with unreadable eyes. The cold from the weather and his eyes made her feel naked and she shivered. Slowly her arms came up forming a barrier across her chest to ward of the surreptitious chill.

He was aware that the woman grieved for his brother and was ill at ease in his presence. So he could not fathom as to why she would give chase and shout his name for him to stop. As he watched her he observed that she would look to the left and right of her quite often, nervously.

He noted with surprise that she did not bear the stench of decay like other humans and did not age; however, her scent was not pure like an immortal. He lifted his head in the air and took a long silent whiff of her scent and found the truth.

She had the scent of a mortal but not one of this time. Her origin was not unknown to him, he knew her to be from a future time and if he had to make an educated guess the time of her mortality would commence once her actual time caught up with her.

He noticed that the woman's eyes had filled up with tears as he lowered his head, glistening like diamonds as the light hit them and they fell. He felt an inkling of pity for her as he knew of the great love that she and the Hanyou had shared.

Now his brother was dead; his mixed blood had given him a long life but because of the human taint he was doomed to grow old and die. He scoffed at the irony and the plight of all those individuals who partook of the forbidden.

Luckily, such folly would never hold sway over him, because loving and impregnating a human was not an indignity passed from their father to him. He grew impatient with the priestess who reminded him so much of Rin with her large innocent eyes and aura as she stood silently and glimpsed at him ever so often.

A memory of the past unnerved him, if he had let his guard slip an inch all those years ago he might have made the mistake and lain with his ward, when she had matured and had wanted him in such a fashion. But he would not tread the path of his father, having these human females around was more trouble than it was worth and a bother.

His eyes narrowed as his ire rose, Kagome looked up at him startled by the shift in his mood and saw lips curled down at the corners scathingly.

 _"Priestess you have summoned this Sesshomaru,"_ he stated bitingly, _"make it quick for you waste my time."_

She was caught up in a moment of confusion by his sudden disagreeable mood; she didn't know if she should say what she had wanted to say after chasing him down or to quietly leave.

A harsh gulp burned her throat as she made up her mind. Fluttering wings passed over them and she looked up briefly, the showers were easing. She closed her eyes, she couldn't back down now, she had nothing left to lose.

She sighed deeply and then stared shamelessly at his face as she spoke. _"Your brother is dead and I have no one or any place else to go, you are the only family that I have left, please let me follow you."_

His response she did not wait for before she fell to her knees at his feet looking wearily at the wet grass. Her heart was empty, devoid of its core as there was nothing left to fill it, but if being by the demon lord's side meant that she could survive; perhaps she could live to see her family again.

He did not answer and silent footsteps put great distances between them and her heart sank. She cried quietly though brokenly, because Sesshomaru did not want her to accompany him even as an insignificant companion.

His aura floated away as she cried but then it stilled, she looked down into the valley and there he was, and for the second time in minutes she was trapped in indecision. Could it be that he has had a change of heart? She wondered. But as she felt impatience seeping alongside his calm aura she got up and started after him.

As he waited he contemplated the soundness of his decision, because on a whim moments ago he had chosen to concede to her request.

 **Reviews are welcomed!**


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN:** Please read and enjoy!_

The demon in front kept a steady pace as they walked for what seems like hours in the pouring rain. He continued on with a grace and dignity that she lacked presently she observed with slight resentment. He was as soaked as she was, water droplets dripped from his long fair hair to the ground and his clothes stuck to him like glue. He should be uncomfortable and yet he did not show it.

She slowed her strides and took deep breaths to conserve some energy. She knew that her welfare did not concern her brother in law too much. It did not matter to him that she suffered greatly from losing her husband or that the bad weather would no doubt make her sick. Why he had agreed to let her follow him at the last minute was still a mystery to her, and as such she would try to endure as much as she could.

When she let go of the thoughts on her mind she realized that a wide gap stood between them. She sighed heavily and then increased her pace again. What a day this was turning out to be she thought. She was cold and numb and losing Inuyasha was a burden all on its own.

Suddenly the temperature dropped even lower and a chill shook her; frantically she ran her palm along the surface of her arms to lend warmth to her body. The fine hairs on her skin felt stiff like they had frozen over and goose-flesh stood at attention. Through it all she continued to walk silently behind Sesshomaru without complaint. Although she wanted so badly to tell him that they needed to find shelter because her weaker human body could not tolerate the wet and the cold for much longer.

Her hand came up in a silent gesture almost as if to call out to him but then it dropped casually back to her side when his strides increased. She shivered constantly now while her teeth chattered periodically. Sensitive ears twitched in annoyance from her discomfort, she stiffened and pressed her lips tightly together to prevent her afflictions from bothering him a second more.

What kind of a creature was he really? She wondered as she struggled to keep up with him. To be honest there wasn't much she knew about him. For a time in the past they'd shared a common goal in finding and destroying an old nemesis but beyond that she knew very little of his life and habits. The thoughts on her mind were frustratingly pervasive and yet she found that she did not mind it much. Intentional or not she had to occupy her head and heart with something other than Inuyasha and her life at this point. It was the only way to stay sane.

Being distracted by her thoughts she almost crashed into his back when he stopped suddenly at the base of a mountain, she was just so caught up in her musings that she had not deciphered his movements until it was almost too late. She squeaked by the near accident and bit into her lip lightly to muffle the sounds of her embarrassment.

With her hand over her heart she took four long backwards steps putting much needed space between them. Because being this close to him unnerved the hell out of her and she didn't know him well enough to have an accurate opinion of what her near invasion of his personal space triggered. Though because he didn't seemed fazed by the incident at all, as he just stood still with eyes staring forward, she assumed that he wasn't bothered by her absentmindedness.

She breathed a little easier with that thought while creeping conjecture filled her mind. Could it be that he was just as lonely and defeated as she was? She couldn't help but to wonder as she gazed at the spaces around him.

The notion stretched with her fixation on the subject, which brought to the fore of her thoughts a memory albeit a sad one. Inuyasha had recounted to her the miserable events leading up to the tragic death of his brother's vassal Jaken over thirty years ago. She sighed as she remembered Inuyasha's downhearted cadence as he'd related what he had seen.

While he'd watched from the side-lines, Sesshomaru had unsheathed Tensaiga and had tried to revive his loyal servant in a futile attempt to bring him back to life, which would never have worked after doing it once already. And the fact that he had never gone about and replaced him after his death gave her reason to feel that he must be a little lonely.

All the surmises that she'd made just now were pure speculation, the demon's feelings or lack thereof she reminded herself. Because he wasn't necessarily a creature of human habits, but she knew that he was capable of love and had displayed it in the care and affections that he'd lavished upon Rin when she was a small child. What had changed between them as the child had matured was still unknown to her? However, it was safe to assume that if he could feel love then he could experience deep hurt and loss.

She shook her head in thought, Sesshomaru was not the most social of beings and he had not gone out of his way to seek out his brother and least of all her over the years. In fact he had never visited the village once after Rin had died. Now more than ever her mind grappled for an explanation for his kindness in letting her tag along after him.

Her head came up after having lowered it before as her mind had wandered; she watched curiously as his gaze swept the mountain-side quickly and as his feet lifted off the ground. She stared intently and a bit confused as he rose higher and higher and suddenly panic seized her, he was leaving her behind.

 _"No, this can't be,"_ she whispered in the air still unsure of his motives, but cried out, _"Sesshomaru please don't leave me,"_ when he disappeared with the green.

Frantic steps took her around the hillside looking for a way up; it was steep and the wet would make it almost impossible to climb. Panic and anxiety overwhelmed her senses making it hard to breathe.

Tears began to flow as she looked up in the sky and saw more dark clouds rushing into the horizon. The ominous expanse above angry and dark gave way to misery letting loose its sorrow. Wind tore at her sticking the heavy fabric of her clothes more closely to her already cold and numbing body.

Realizing that if she did not make a move right now she would be caught up in what looked to be the beginnings of a terrible storm, she began to climb. Kagome closed her eyes, slowly letting drift away the intense fear and panic that had apprehended her and then pressed on.

Cautiously she selected jutting edges to hold and slight indentations in the mountain side for a foothold, but in the wet she was missing and slipping. In spite of the predicament that she faced she could not give up, because if she did not find him before the storm broke he would most definitely leave her behind.

Kagome glanced up briefly and then lowered her gaze when she noticed that the landing was about twenty meters above. In all actuality it wasn't a long climb, but in the wet and the cold the effort became more daunting.

 _"Please, please!"_ She kept on mumbling each time that she reached up and felt moss on a surface area and her fingers slipped. Her body trembled with fear and the cold, giving rise to her powers which leaked instinctively around her in her time of distress. Reiki warmed her whole body through as it spread right down to her fingertips drying every piece of earth that she touched.

In time she caught on and climbed more easily. It was almost fully dark when she pulled herself up on the landing and hastily made a dash for the bushes.

Finding him now wouldn't be easy in the rainy and windy atmosphere which had diminished his aura greatly. Truthfully, this would be her first time up these mountains, but she was certain of one thing, when he'd flown off he was just as wet as she was and there could be only one clear conclusion. He had selfishly and cruelly gone on ahead without her to find shelter.

With that in mind she drew closer to the fringes of the mountain side, searching for a shallow opening or a large cave. It was easy to infer that there wouldn't be any overly large indentations into the mountain side, because this particular peak was not immensely proportioned.

Kagome sucked in a breath, willing the tears away that had begun to well up in her eyes again. Today had been one of the worse days of her life; she had to say good bye and bury Inuyasha who had been ailing for five months as he'd grown sickly with old age.

Nothing in her long life could have prepared her for the shock, as it would appear that one day her husband was full of vigour and the next day he had started to age. It took fifty human years after the first one hundred and fifty that they'd spent together to see him die as a weak old man.

It broke her heart to see him like that. Where was the sense in all this she questioned herself? Who could have thought that she would outlast her half demon husband, surely not her? And to make matters worse she'd caught wind of her stoic brother in law at the burial, when in all actuality she had decided upon Inuyasha's death to go in search of him.

What a mess, Kagome covered her ears as tears rolled down her face in spite of her best efforts to keep them at bay. Inuyasha was dead and Sesshomaru had reluctantly agreed to let her follow him. Why he'd agreed and then abandoned her in a storm she couldn't tell?

Still, her ire rose by his callous actions even though she was aware that he had not promised her anything. That being said, whether he chose to acknowledge it or not they were family. And in any case he must have admitted that to himself for he would not have come to pay his final respects to his only sibling.

On a small score she felt that he'd agreed to let her follow him because he pitied her; that would be just like him. But him being a creature of complexity and many of his actions were left to interpretation, she felt that he had accommodated her because of Inuyasha.

They'd have their differences in the past but a common purpose had seen all of them working together to defeat a threatening foe, and she had personally seen a good change in him towards his brother.

Kagome felt her way around the hillside now as she could barely see. Next she felt air as her hand moved into space. Yes, she had finally found it. She stood at the entrance straining her eyes to see beyond four feet and saw nothing. She had to make a decision soon whether or not this was the cave sheltering him or not, because the rain had not eased and she was minutes away from catching her death.

She lingered at the entrance wishing that she did not feel so helpless and then let out a breath that she had not known she was holding in and took the first steps, listening carefully for any signs of danger just in case she was wrong.

Step by step the darkness swallowed her up. She heard dripping in the corner and closed her eyes against the fear brimming inside her heart; then she opened them a short time later and pressed on.

The cave felt colder and vacant the deeper she traversed its depths, although she could see better now that her eyes had grown accustomed to the dark. As she trudged farther inside she realized that her earlier assessments of caverns in this mountain had been wrong.

She was confused and scared but also determined to keep going. The moderate entrance opened up into a wider path with four cloisters leading deeper into the back of the mountain. She stood still trying to guess which pathway she should take.

Sighing almost in despair she commanded herself. _"Choose the right one Kagome,"_ but before she could take a step his aura wafted timely to her. She smiled strangely as the doubts slowly left her, because at this point she was sure that he had deliberately made his presence known to her.

Obediently she answered the call, her steps never faltered as she entered through a passageway, the one to the extreme left of the cave. Thirty strides later she crossed the threshold into a wide area with two adjoining openings to the left and right of a cavernous room.

However, her heart stilled momentarily when she came face to face with the one that she'd been chasing. He was dry and sat upon a stack of futons gazing at her with an expression that looked close to self-importance.

Somewhere in the back of her head she knew that she had no right to be angry at him, but none of that mattered now as the smug look on his face ripped into her soul. And the fact that she had just buried her husband and had subjected herself to the indignity of begging her brother in law to let her accompany him. Which he had agreed to and then had left her to the mercy of the elements and her own devices washed away the good sense in her head.

She wanted to cry out in misery from losing her husband, but Sesshomaru had somehow diverted that course and had directed her anger onto himself. Her hands trembled as she stared at him and him at her.

He'd watched the priestess with interest from the first moment that she had arrived and had seen the bulging gaze of her emotions, but now all he could see was the frown on her face, the quivering of her lips and anger that seeped from her every pore into the room.

She was furious...

It was only a matter of time before she snapped. She hadn't meant for it to occur, but somehow it just did.

 _"You insufferable dog,"_ she yelled, _"why the fuck did you leave me behind; if I am so much of a bother to you then you should not have agreed and then abandon me?"_

Sesshomaru eyes widened for one startling moment before he lunged forward in a savage temper; he grasped her by the front of her wet kimono. _"You should be",_ he said cuttingly, _"grateful that you are still alive, I will let the disrespect pass because you mourn the half breed."_

Kagome winced as if she'd been struck hard across the face; the colour drained from it as he held her roughly. Her eyes watered from his impatience and the pain of loss combined together.

Seeing her pitiful state he finally let go.

Her tears she could not hold back any longer, the tracks streamed down her cheeks from the ache in her heart and finally she sobbed, crying out and shaking from the immense ache in her soul. She threw herself onto the pile of futons to bury the sounds of the sobs that racked her body and to evade hard uncaring eyes.

The Daiyoukai looked on silently and was hard-pressed to offer her some comfort but refrained from doing so. He did not want to take onto himself his brother's burden although he knew it would be the honourable thing to do. But before he could contemplate his actions any further he heard her muttering something to him through her tears.

 _"Why,"_ she cried, _"why did you leave me at the foot of the hill in the rain?"_

He noted that her face was covered with tears and snot, her eyes red and puffy as she got up and stared directly at him. Something stirred into his heart as he gazed upon the disgusting image of his dead brother's wife. Maybe it was his conscience but he would not allow her to think that he was going to be her saviour and as such he informed her coldly.

 _"I had conceded in letting you follow me out of duty for my dead brother, however, I will not be your keeper, if you wish to continue then you will have to learn to fend for yourself, or you may leave right now,"_ he said it tonelessly but she did not miss the threat that laced it.

He saw the fear and apprehension on her face and it pleased him somewhat. It meant that his position was understood by her.

Her heart beat quickened by the unkind response and her head swum dizzily. She felt faint. The bedding dipped as she fell back into it with one lasting image of pity shining in the demon's eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Please read and review. Thank You!**_

Having fallen into the center of the bedding with her hands spread across its expanse in what seemed to be an exhausted sleep, Sesshomaru regarded Kagome dispassionately. He had allowed her to follow him on an impulse earlier and now he regretted his imprudence. Pursed lips and a displeased frown told of the woes in his heart because now he had an unwanted companion with an injured spirit, and if he allowed the situation to escalate further she would no doubt burden him with her afflictions. However, his conscience spoke of loyalty and honor as an opportunistic memory prodded at his mind. He hissed angrily as if to rid of the thought, but the retention persisted giving him a swift jolt as it surged through the cloudy mess of indecision raging inside him.

It was a little over thirty years ago that he'd come upon a scene involving Jaken and some rogue demons who had wanted to steal the magical staff that he'd carried so faithfully all these years. His vassal had fought bravely but was outnumbered ten to one. His entry into the melee had turned the odds in Jaken's favor as he'd obliterated the enemy with one strike of Bakusaiga, however, Jaken was already gravely wounded much to his dismay, and saving his life hung in the balance.

Hurriedly in the midst of despair he had pulled the Tensaiga to heal him before his light passed from this world to the next, but his fortitude had been too late as Jaken had died within moments. Through the despair he had felt over the imp's passing he had sensed his brother's aura close by and had wondered at the time what Inuyasha was doing in his lands. A few moments later he had spun around to see the hanyou covered in the shadows of the forest staring at him.

No amount of caution could have prepared him for what he was about to see next as his brother strode from the shelter of the trees and into the clearing. His eyes had followed him as he'd walked slowly coming forward, his feet struggling to keep stable on the pebbled ground which made him appear more tired and feeble from making the long journey.

He'd opened his mouth in surprise by the strange sight. Gone was the brash and foul mouthed brother that he'd known, and in his place was a subdued aging half demon. His once thick whitish grey hair had thinned out an ashen grey, his defiant golden eyes, the mark of the silver Inus of his race were muted with age. The shock that had widened his eyes he could not hold back as his brother drew nearer.

 _"Sesshomaru,"_ he'd said then as he'd approached with a wide beaming smile on his face, _"you haven't changed at all, still an arrogant ass I see."_

 _"Inuyasha,"_ was the only thing that he could manage to say at the time, seeing his brother so changed from the shortcomings of his mixed blood.

 _"Keh, you can stop staring,"_ he'd responded in a tone both young and old, _"pretending like you didn't know that I would grow old and die like a common human."_

He'd nodded, a faint smile on his lips and had pointed to a spot under a tree for him to go and sit because he could see that Inuyasha was tired. His breaths were harsh and constantly he'd gulped for air, a softened sensation had entered into his heart with the awareness that his brother's spirit still burned bright from within.

Somehow he had known that his brother's visit was to say goodbye among other things, his emotions had stood strong and transparent in his eyes. Whatever he wanted must be of great importance for him to seek out an estranged older brother. The years of bad blood and their innate brutal pride being dog demons still stood between them. He had to take everything into account considering their colorful history which would definitely be a deterrent, and yet Inuyasha was here. There was no question in his mind that Inuyasha had traveled this far and alone for amusement sake.

As Inuyasha padded towards the barren Ume tree Sesshomaru watched him with feelings of disappointment and guilt which had made him uneasy. Was it the blood of their father running through their veins that had made him feel pity, and if he must admit it sorrow for the inevitable demise of his only sibling?He had never thought on the matter before now, but coming face to face with the issues he found that he could not ignore them. Inuyasha sat while he remained standing, although he had closed some of the distance between them with a couple of strides.

Inuyasha sighed, his shoulders slumped slightly. _"I want you to promise me something,"_ he said and paused, his eyes focused on his brother.

Sesshomaru nodded after realizing what his brother's motives were for seeking him out, and observed silently that Inuyasha's strength was rapidly wearing away so that he had to lean heavily on the tree for support. He watched as the half demon closed his eyes and took shallow breaths, and for the first time in as many years since Rin's death he felt the strong pull of their familial bond and was saddened now that Inuyasha would die.

The call of their father's blood that ran red and potent through their veins was powerful and it drew him to his brother's side, both of their backs touched as he sat. He had felt a deep yearning straight down into his very soul, and for once he did not feel like fighting it, he would embrace it.

Inuyasha also felt the tugging on his consciousness and was astounded by it. Was it there because death was banging on his door? Whatever the reason was he did not dwell on it because as far back and as long as he could remember he had always loved Sesshomaru as his older brother in secret. All he'd ever really wanted was to be acknowledged by him. It was shameful that only death and dying could speak to their hearts, and back to back now they sat as brothers for the first and final time.

Inuyasha sighed and then had spoken solemnly. _"For a long time now I knew that I would die, there are few things I regret and yet I would change nothing...except maybe my relationship with you."_

Sesshomaru got up suddenly and gazed down at his brother with mystification. _"Why?"_ He questioned.

Inuyasha chuckled by the look on his brother's face but more from the question that he'd asked and then had replied quietly. _"I could tell you that's what the old man would have wanted but that would be half of the truth,"_ he replied honestly. _"My reasons for wanting us to be real brothers are my own."_

Inuyasha pulled Tetsauiga from his waist and used it as a crutch to stand, what he needed to tell Sesshomaru would be from a position of equality and not of one brother looking down on the other.

He'd struggled to his feet and then had placed a hand on Sesshomaru's right arm to straighten up; the pain in his joints had gotten worse. Sitting and standing for long periods made the situation all the more uncomfortable.

Sesshomaru stared at the clawed hand on his arm for long, looking closely for the first time and saw a hand much like his own without the markings, and then had looked in his brother's face studying him silently. Inuyasha did not look away although both of them felt uneasy as they'd dove into untried waters.

 _"Brother tell me, have you ever wished that as siblings we could have been more than we were?"_ Inuyasha asked candidly.

 _"Yes,"_ he'd answered truthfully, before they'd both looked up into the sky on hearing a hundred pairs of wings flapping in early migration. A white feather fell through the sky dancing and twirling in the mild breeze before it settled on Inuyasha's face.

He'd scowled and had removed the feathery item from his face and then had turned to his brother again. _"Promise me something Sesshomaru_ ," he'd said anxiously.

Perplexed by the strange urgency in his tone Sesshomaru frowned. _"What do you want me to do,"_ he'd asked, clearly unable to wrap his mind around his brother's state and now his insistence in holding him to a promise.

 _"Take care of my wife when I am gone,"_ he had said then and had hobbled away quickly without a backward glance.

Sesshomaru gaped at his back in shock as he'd made his way out of the sun and into the seclusion of the forest but could not find it in himself to say no.

Even more perplexing than Inuyasha's odd request was that he'd dropped the Tetsauiga and then had thrown the feather in the air, a strong breeze blew it over to him and it had stopped by his feet.

Inuyasha had turned around to face him once more when he was some distance away and had smiled. _"I have no more use for the sword; put it to good use,"_ was his parting words to him.

That was the last time he had seen his brother alive. Long after Inuyasha had left he'd stood staring after him. Everything afterwards had happened in a blur. He'd buried Jaken in the shade of the forest, wrapped his brother's sword into his yukata so that he could hold and secure it properly, while wondering at the same time why Inuyasha would've bequeathed him a blade that he didn't need or could use.

On a whim he'd picked up the feather and had taken it along with him. He had walked away slowly thinking about his brother and what had just transpired between them.

His mind gradually drifted back to the present as he heard the woman's sickly groans. He knew instinctively that something was wrong with her and drew nearer. He didn't need to touch her to know that she had a fever and was burning up; for he could feel the heat of her illness wafting to him.

He clenched his teeth and closed his eyes in an attempt to stop himself from falling into the core of an emotional abyss. But this time there would be nothing to anchor him, every redeemable foothold of pride and self-esteem that he had clung to in the past was being whittled away by the day's unwelcomed events and a memory. A deep sigh left him before he glanced around the room anxiously, almost as if he wanted to make a quick exit. Kagome moaned louder and he was forced to focus on her again. He sighed wearily for the second time in a minute, and with a false sense of self assurance he approached the sick priestess lying on the bed still wearing her wet clothes from earlier.

Ume/Plum Tree


	4. Chapter 4

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Sesshomaru was just about to divest his dead brother's wife of her sodden clothes to alleviate one of the sources of her illness halted when he noticed that her eyes blinked rapidly behind closed lids, signifying her soon awakened state. He left her side immediately to avoid any misunderstanding that could be construed by his actions. He took no pleasure in trying to disrobe the woman; his conduct was merely to ensure that she did not die for the sake of a promise.

He stepped back even further before her eyes opened and tapped long fingers impatiently on the side of his leg. He wanted no part of this, but if he had to, the sooner it was done the better it would be and preferably while she slept because he was certain that her reaction to the infringement on her person would be met with disapproval if she awoke to find him close.

Kagome groaned as she was nudged awake by an urgent throbbing at her temples. She stood up immediately when she remembered where she was and just whose bed she was lying in. The sudden movement aggravating the overwhelming feeling of nausea and the ache in her limbs made her unsteady. Still she managed to angle her head left then right with wide searching eyes and found her reluctant companion. For a moment she stood still viewing the frown of concern on his face which further perplexed her. Why would he care? She asked herself sourly. Her eyes closed on a sigh prompting the soothing calmness of the rain to envelop her mind slowly and gently to ease the uproar of her thoughts so that she could think clearly.

Sesshomaru looked at her attentively as he gathered his thoughts. The woman was sick and in need of urgent care; also, he needed to broach the subject of her illness since he was aware that the unusual situation between them prevented her from doing so. He felt an inkling of disgust as he made up his mind to concede to his pride. There was no way around it, he had made a promise to his dead brother and as such he would respect that promise for the time being. He sighed quietly, and after a bit more hesitation he spoke quickly.

 _"You are ill and in need of medicine and a change of clothing…?"_

He did not say anything else, there was no need to prolong the issue, all he wanted was her approval. However, she failed to respond, and as he watched her keenly he noticed that her interest in him and the surroundings had started to wane; in another moment she rocked on the soles of her feet. He made no move to catch her, and with a dull thud she fell sideways onto the stack of futons again.

Things were better this way he thought, caring for the priestess while she slumbered eased his mind a great deal though he wasn't completely rid of the apprehensive feeling. He lifted his hand over her forehead, there it lingered for sometime before he lowered it onto her skin and cleared the bead of perspiration gathered on her brows. When the task was done he slumped onto the bed and stared up at the roof, a sudden case of depression and uneasiness coming over him. He locked his jaws tightly together in an attempt to drive the frustration away from his being but to no avail. He raised himself up, he needed some time alone to think.

Entering through one of the two pathways in the room there he stood still looking through a crack high in the cave wall dripping water into a large stone basin on the floor. He stood and waited, unwilling to rush back to her side even though he heard Kagome muttering nonsensically in delirium. After some time had elapsed and he was still utterly annoyed by the awkward circumstances, he stooped low, careful not to let his knees make contact with the wet earthen floor. From this position he splashed handfuls of cold water onto his face to relieve the sudden ache in his head and the heaviness inside his heart.

He decided to return to the hallowed out cave room only after his mind had calmed a bit. When he appeared she was still asleep and so quietly he sat down beside her. In the quiet he looked the priestess over carefully, she was sick, dirty and her hair an inky mess. Caring for the woman greatly disturbed him on so many levels. She was not a child but a grown human woman

As he continued to stare at the priestess images of Rin and Jaken flashed across his mind's eye and the familiar dull ache of loneliness returned to his body, yet this time it was far worse. The reality of the situation had begun to take a numbing grip on his wavering mind now that he was in an unusual position.

There was no other recourse unless he left her to die, but Inuyasha had ensured that he would not have any another option. He cursed under his breath at the cunning trap that his brother had set and like a fool he had fallen into it. He stared into the rocky cave roof once more, a frown engraved into his placid face, though his emotions were spiraling inside him. Didn't Inuyasha understood who he was and asking him to do such a thing would be outside of his nature?

Sesshomaru face became stony and his fist clenched the blanket, Kagome groaned and turned onto her side and into him. He stiffened when her head pressed into the hard muscles of his thigh, he didn't move as he felt the sick heat of the woman moved through him.

" _Inuyasha…where are you?"_ She mumbled.

His brows rose in surprise, because although her lilt was vague he had heard clearly when she cried out for his brother. A tremor of envy passed through him quickly, amazing him with the out of place emotion.

How could this be? He wondered. He had no desire for the priestess; all he felt was pity. So why then was he suddenly attacked with a bout of covetousness at the mention of his brother's name?

" _Please don't leave, take me with you...Inuyasha!"_ Kagome cried out with outstretched arms in her muddled sentience.

In time her arms floated down covering his chest in a lopsided embrace. His response to the intrusion was not forthcoming although he wanted to push her away and run from the explainable fires that burned him. He did not move an inch even with the complexity of his thoughts; the woman was sick and unconscious of her actions.

Without another moment of thought he rolled the woman off him. He had no more time to think, the trap was already set and he was caught, and for the time being he would care for her, but when she was healed he would leave her behind. He did not want the complication; he was better off alone.

He snorted a laugh at his stupidity, Inuyasha had always founded a way to best him, and even in death he had succeeded in outwitting him one final time. He made a sound of annoyance and then turned the priestess on her back; effortlessly he raked an index finger down the front of her kimono ripping it open.

Slowly he parted the fabric away from her chest and then turned her on her sides and eased her arms through the sleeves. Then lastly he placed her on her back with his head turned away from her nakedness when all the wet clothes was removed from her body and tossed aside. To look upon any human female's body with lust was not a chore he desired to do unnecessarily, the idea was unfavorable to him.

He made a face and pushed through the disgust swimming at the edges of his consciousness and swung his head forward, trying not to think too much on the issues. This was not about perversion; its sole purpose was to ensure that she survived. However, what he felt in his head and what his eyes told him were two different things entirely. As he sat there and gazed at the woman's body in the soft candlelight, a loud expression changed his features and swiftly he looked away.

There was no doubt that the priestess's body was stunning, he shook his head to clear his mind, now was not the time to dwell on such things. And in any case she was human and not worthy of his interest. Strong arms lifted her from the bed and carried her unresponsive body to the basin; he stepped right into the water and sat with her in his lap. She was too hot and needed cooling down. Drenching her in cold water was the only way to break the fever quickly.

He stretched out his legs with his knees slightly elevated for support, making it easier for the water to caress her body. The places that the water did not touch like her face he rectified the problem by using his hand as a scoop and gently poured liquid onto her face. When he was finished he dried and dressed her into one of his yukata which was too large making her appear much smaller than she actually was, and set her on the bed.

Until late into the night he sat on a mat close by watching and listening for signs of improvement or decline. Then, unable to stave off the sleep that burned his eyes he yawned and closed them.

Kagome woke up the next morning and weakly sat up in bed, the fever had broken and clarity was slow in returning. Sesshomaru watched her quietly from the side seeing the obvious disorientation on her visage; the way she shook her head trying to remember and when she did her eyes widened. Her gaze swept around the room searching for him he knew, and slowly he got up and came forward. Kagome stared directly in front as he came into view, her eyes vacant yet her mind was focused on her thoughts.

She was aware that she was clean and had on a foreign garment, which by the size would indicate that it belonged to him. She cringed on the inside because for her to be in this state he must have undressed her and had seen her body. Her cheeks erupted into violent red and she let out a heavy breath with the knowledge but also with understanding.

He stopped in front of the bed, his eyes transfixed on her, sweeping over her with casual interest, observing her stained cheeks and cagey eyes.

" _I see that you are well,"_ he said dryly.

She smiled, though a bit warily to ease the anxiety from her mind and said. _"Thank you…I am sorry to have been a burden."_

Sesshomaru took his time before answering, his mind torn between feeling relieved and the sheer guilt he felt at the impulsiveness to get rid of her. She stirred things inside him that were best left in the darkness of his mind. The unsavory thought angered him, he had no desire for the priestess and to think otherwise was ridiculous, yet he was unable to control the venom of the spiteful words that escaped him. " _My obligation to Inuyasha has been extinguished, the rain has subsided; there is no more need for you to follow me. Leave, I have no more time to spare on useless things."_

His statement was slow in coming but reverberated like a thousand cannons in her brain when he was finished. Kagome brought her hands to her cheek as dejection lengthened her jaw and her face became bloodless in desperation and surprise.

" _No! Please you cannot do this!"_ She pleaded unabashed, as his words exploded inside her head, the anxieties there threatening to make her sick again as bile formed blocking the air from her lungs.

He smiled at her predicament and she could see the wicked gleam in his eyes and it scared her. She felt pain in her body like she was being grounded to dust between two gigantic boulders. She gasped loudly by his callousness as he continued to stare at her with his mocking smile.

The bitter taste of loss and sorrow was quickly dragging her into a vortex so deep that there would be no returning from it once it pulled her in. It made her head spin faster in the chaotic abyss of her thoughts as he picked up his armor, completely disregarding her presence like she was nothing.

She struggled to hold onto her declining composure as much as she could as grief rapidly pulled her into that black hole of irrelevance. She had no one left, this was not her time and Inuyasha was dead. And the one person that she thought would be honorable enough to let her grieve silently by his side, giving her some semblance of familiarity was tossing her aside like garbage. She couldn't stand the pain any longer that his constant rejection brought.

Grimacing, Kagome lunged at him with a burst of energy borne out of misery and resentment. Sesshomaru dodged the attack easily and snatched her roughly by the hair, wrapping the long tresses around one hand and with the other twisted her arm behind her back. He yanked her carelessly towards him making her cry out long in despair. With her back pressed up against his front, the rolling waves of tension in his body rippled through her like a wild tempest.

The pain he inflicted was savage and brutal, lethal claws gripped and scraped along her skull making her faint with fear yet she continued to struggle, lashing out at him with her free hand though none of her hits connected from the disadvantageous position that he placed her in.

He was going to say something but clenched his teeth hard instead; his thoughts in a whirlwind from the moment the woman attacked him. All that remained was waves of confusion, and in his veins heated blood coursed through him.

" _Let me go Sesshomaru…or I'll...?"_ Kagome yelled, she didn't get the chance to finish the sentence. He tightened the hold on her arm and hair more viciously, pushing the unspoken words right back down her throat. His cruelty made her groan bitterly even more.

Her spine bent backwards at angle from the brutal tug made it easy for him to see the rage in her eyes as she peered intensely up at him. He watched the heaving of her bosom from the uncomfortable harsh breaths that she took as she panted from exertion, and defiantly she hissed at him as she continued to glare at him.

His eyes narrowed and his frown deepened just before he asked. " _Or you'll do what woman?"_

Kagome answered automatically, angrily. " _You are a cruel good for nothing being, why I ever thought that you had any common decency is beyond me."_

The words discharged from her mouth harshly, though they were only lip service now. The fight had left her body; she couldn't handle any more stress that the day had to offer. Her form slumped into his hold; however, his grip did not lessen.

She closed her eyes fighting against the urge to cry but the tears seeped from them in spite of her best efforts. He lowered his head, his breath fanning her earlobes. She gasped at his nearness and her body stiffened reflexively not fully understanding his actions or motives.

Her face covered in tears and her lips parted with every gasping breath that she took held him deftly into a spellbinding trance. She looked so vulnerable, like a frightened timid little creature, and somehow that wretched look stirred his conscience and his grasp loosened. Unwittingly the image of her nakedness flashed scandalously into his head, and an unconscious groan much like an animal's caught up in heat and pain slipped out of his being.

Loss for words and straining against the dangerous onslaught of lust, firm lips descended onto hers and fused. Taken by the surprise of his sudden incomprehensible action, Kagome kept quiet, but cried out when he bit into her lips and suckled blood.

He pulled back on hearing the pained cries. His lips and fangs smeared with blood she observed. She gazed at him in shock silently. He in turn gazed into startled tear fill eyes. Why he began to smooth the tears from her face and eyes he wasn't completely sure. Perhaps he didn't like to see them there, or it could be that his actions were purely instinctive.

Whatever the cause he found that he could not stop. As he continued to stroke her cheeks and she remained watchful yet quiet, he smeared blood in the process turning the crystalline tracks crimson, making it appear as though she cried tears of blood. To witness the mess he made should have stopped him, yet it did not. He closed his eyes when neither will power nor common sense worked together to sway him.

He opened his eyes a short time later to see frightened eyes still staring him in the face, his heart thundered. It wasn't enough, not the warning in his head or the complexity of the situation he faced. He disregarded it all for the moment; he kissed her again doing it more tenderly this time. Without a word or a squirm of objection from the priestess he proceeded further, licking a bloody path down her throat and neck.

Kagome was too stunned to say or do anything, confusion sang in her soul and body. Although, through the noise she heard herself cry out, but it wasn't the sound of despair that she felt in her heart, instead it was the unexpected moans of pleasure.


	5. Back to Reality!

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Sesshomaru's fingers untangled from Kagome's hair then splayed at the base of her skull at an angle so that he could kiss her better. She in turn clung to him like a life-line in desperation as her whole world spun and the screeching fall rose up to meet her. Her strength she could not rely on now, it was all but gone with the harsh passing of the times and the death of Inuyasha. So she gritted her teeth through the pain instead, knowing that she was vulnerable and her confidence had fled in the storm.

She whimpered softly as his mouth met her neck and suckled, and as the feeling intensified she closed her eyes tight shutting out the world and the voices in her head telling her to fight. Next he reached for her arm; she did not object as he laced one set of fingers firmly through hers and raised it high above her head against the cave wall, while gently pressing his hips against her warm flesh as he brought her closer. She was soft yet firm, yielding and wanting. His lips wandered down her neck, tasting and teasing the pulse points there to race under his touch.

There was no doubt in his mind that he could take her right here and now if he so desired it and she would be powerless to stop him. Yet she wasn't a demoness or even his usual type of woman, and he couldn't treat her as such because she had been his brother's wife.

He realized in the heat of passion that the more he kept telling himself that she wasn't his type; the more he wanted her. The more he wanted her, the more lust dragged his mind and body into endless desire, and it didn't help that the warm energies flowing just under the surface of her skin stimulated the dull ache into a painful throb.

The woman had woven an undeniable spell of passion without meaning or trying to, reheating the blood into his body, hot like a furnace he was less than inclined to resist it or her. She was defiant, free spirited, had a lovely body and since he had tasted her life's blood, her flavor had left him wanting.

His passion for the priestess was like a heat wave rolling through him and it astounded him greatly, because they were only together for a day. Was this thing, this insanity that enveloped his conscious thoughts and actions like a ball of fire because of Inuyasha? Could grief make him act and feel this way? Make him want to throw caution to the wind and thus dishonoring himself, his dead brother and the priestess, he wondered through the haze of lust that peaked and his eyes fluttered closed on the thought.

A harsh graze to her throat and the erotic cries afterwards stilled his troubled mind, shunning his principles into silence because he cared not for them at the moment. She winced from the sting but continued to angle her head back even after he had released her from his grasp, and now he ran his palms over her large rounded breasts.

It was brief but she had felt hesitation within him just now and had exhaled thinking that he would withdraw from her completely. But then he surprised her by swinging her up into his arms and began to walk towards the bed. She rested her weary head against his shoulder and thought that she should stop him now. Stop him before everything got out of control, because although her body burned with a need that paralleled what she had felt when she was with her husband, she also knew that this was wrong. Regardless of that fact she was needy and helpless with grief over Inuyasha's death to stop something that she would most certainly come to regret later on when clarity returned from happening.

There was urgency in him, pushing him, making him forget all logical reasoning. He deposited her on the bed quickly and settled himself between her thighs before he covered her lips with his own. He wasn't about to give her time to think about anything but him, and least of all time to consider stopping him. Inuyasha was dead and inconsequential now.

His sharp tongue speared through her mouth and she moaned in pleasure. He raised his head to catch a breath or to gaze at her she did not know. For in that moment, darkened golden eyes filled with passion held her captive as she stared at her own reflection in them. Slowly she closed her eyes and turned away from the filtering stare, too afraid of what he might see. Afraid that he would see how much she really needed him, and the embarrassment of knowing that the he was aware of how exposed she was in allowing him to use her when she should be grieving for her husband.

When next he kissed her lips all the gentleness was gone, only raw desire stirred in him, and this time it was him who moaned. His kiss deepened even further with yearning and she wondered if he had sensed the reluctance in her and was ensuring that she did not voice her concerns to him. Regardless, she was human with emotional tendencies and she could not let her brother in law exploit her in such a way in spite of her willingness to hold onto something real and familiar; they'd shared a similar history and friends.

She had a feeling that Sesshomaru had begun to feel the strain of the situation himself. She could tell by the way he had started to move just a little slower; also, the lingering licks to her throat felt dry and passionless now. The sensual fog lifted briefly from her mind and body and she wanted to say something in objection, but soon he was kissing her senseless again. She felt drugged by his scent, with every brush of his tongue, with every sensual stroke of his fingers upon her skin rendered her incapable of pushing him away. She fitted closer to his form instead and moaned out her pleasure, forgetting again all the cares she had but a moment ago.

There was urgency in his hands as he touched her, he moved even closer to her body leaving nothing between them. It was as if he wanted to get inside her skin when her sensual aroma exploded inside the dank room. Kagome pants became louder and then she sighed as her wavering emotions returned. Was he as conflicted as she was? She wondered. How else could she explain the flickering passion, burning bright one moment and then dimming like fire in an unsteady breeze next?

His arms circled her body now and expert fingers began to caress her back slowly, tentatively; they tread lower until they settled on the swell of her bottom. He still could not tell what took control over him other than the physical for him to want his brother's widow. His chest felt heavy and his heart thundered, she moved under him and suddenly the pieces of the puzzle had started to fit.

At the moment her humanity was not in question and did not matter to him. All he knew and felt was urgency and the desire to draw closer to her; it felt good being so intimately close to someone else, but still he wondered what it could all mean. Perhaps he was just being a male and in the time of sexual urges he would bury that need in any available female...Or?

Was it the feel of the forbidden that he craved? After all, she represented the unthinkable in his world. She was family and a priestess. He could tell that she did not want this though she wasn't unresponsive to his touches. But on an emotional level the woman still grieved for his brother among other things. He had rejected her, breaking the only foothold that she had left tying the past to the present, and to keep order in her life and confusion out she would subject herself to him, lie beneath him and take him.

He felt the rigidness of her form under him when he crushed his hips against hers and she met his hardness. She gasped; he smirked against the roundness of her bosom. He had always given his females a way out, plenty of time to change their minds which was their prerogative, their right, but not this time. The woman made him wild with her naive innocence and boldness when she'd attacked him earlier, not only now but many years ago when he'd hunted Inuyasha for their father's sword. She was loud mouthed and opinionated, and although subdued somewhat now because she grieved, he wasn't as foolish to think that she would remain so for long.

He rolled her onto her stomach and lifted the yukata up to her shoulders quickly; she gasped in surprise at the suddenness of his movements and began to struggle as reality hit her full force.

 _"Stop, Please! I don't want to do this!"_ she begged.

Sesshomaru chuckled against the side of her mouth and whispered. _"I will not stop, you had more than enough time to say no and yet you did not, don't play childish games with me."_

Frantic now she shook her head from side to side in protest as he weighed her down into the bedding with unyielding strength. There was no way she could go through with this; she couldn't dishonor the memory of her husband so soon with one careless act. She had to stop him somehow.

 _"Stop this Sesshomaru,"_ she yelled, fearful now that she felt his manhood searching for entry betwixt her legs. _"I wouldn't think that you could be someone who would take a woman against her will…Or maybe I am wrong and you are no better than a common rapist."_

She was breathless as he held her down and for one dreadful moment she feared that he would actually penetrate her without real consent. She felt his hammering heart at her back, his ample erection at her entrance and couldn't breathe.

Tension held his body ransom just to hear those shameful words, and with a hiss of frustration he lifted his heavy form off hers, and then quickly removed himself from the bed altogether. He was stunned in more ways than one and needed time to think. He couldn't believe what he was just about to do with the priestess, something he had sworn never to do again with a human female. He had done so in the past, but they were nameless faces that had fulfilled a need and nothing more.

Not one female had ever held his interest after the act was over be it demon or human. Many had tried to cling to him, but he had always been dismissive and had never found release in the same woman more than once. Now there was a brand new hindrance hanging over his head, while he had kissed and had caressed the priestess he had felt her power; it was warm as it moved beneath her skin. The danger of knowing that she could grievously harm him if he was a weaker being made for the most tantalizing of dangers. And most importantly he had agreed to take care of her, the dying wish he'd granted his brother.

When she could breathe properly again Kagome sat up in bed and gazed at Sesshomaru who stood directly in front. She knew that she shouldn't continue to make the silence go on between them. It was like a growing wall, surrounding her and fencing him out. She racked her brain for something to say but nothing came to mind, and it didn't help that Sesshomaru's visage was frozen like a glacier.

Her lips became the subject of the unease in the room and she nibbled on them. She was as nervous as a rabbit and the flood of emotions suddenly coursing through her mind brought back vivid memories of her time with Inuyasha and she was heartbroken.

He gazed at her and wondered what she thought, but he did not have to wonder for long as the woman's eyes filled up with tears before she fell back into the bed. It was easy to see that she thought of his dead brother. He frowned upon the scene in front of him, he needed time to clear his mind, make a plan, figure out what was going on inside his head. He only knew that in a day his brother's wife had turned his carefully controlled, stable and solitary life upside down and he did not like it.

He turned away from her and muttered as he left. _"I will be gone for awhile, stay here."_

It took a second for her to realize that he had said something and another to see him leaving the cave. She had wanted to tell him to come back safely, but instead she nodded her head. However the gesture was baseless as he was already gone. She shook her head, she was not surprised that he wanted to be alone, just moments before they had waded into dangerous waters. She blew out a relieved breath, because if she had slept with him earlier it would've meant constant heartache and regret later on.

After some time Kagome stood up and paced the room trying to put her troubled mind at ease. She hoped Sesshomaru would return soon for she knew he was bothered by what had nearly occurred. They needed to talk about it, not facing the issues would not help any of them. But she was mindful of how sensitive the topic was and had to proceed cautiously. Inuyasha was his brother and she knew deep down that he had cared for him in his own way. Reality was a rude wake up call, like a splash of cold water onto the face both she and Sesshomaru were fully awake now that the rain had stopped.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Please read and review!**_

 _ **An:**_ I want to thank Shi for editing this chapter for me. You did an amazing job!

Sesshoumaru stood at the window of his home in the Western Lands, watching the ever decreasing sunlight fade across the grass. The residence was one that he scarcely used. Rin had been its primary occupant while she had lived, waiting out the winter months within its walls until it was warm enough for her to travel with him again. He felt fidgety himself, no longer in the mood for the idyllic views he left the window and went to lie down. With his hands resting comfortable at the back of his head, thoughts of the priestess and his brother constantly ran through his mind.

He had felt when the strings of his familial bond with Inuyasha had snapped five days ago. An emptiness that he had not felt since his father's passing had opened up in his heart and he had known, instinctively, that his brother had died. He had left his bed that night and had traveled to Edo knowing that humans buried their dead within two days and had witnessed Kagome crying over his brother's body through an open window in the back of their house.

The urge to go in had been nearly overpowering but he'd resisted that urge. It would've serve little purpose anyway, he and his brother had already said their goodbyes over thirty years ago and he wasn't a friend of his sister in-law, an ally from long ago they had been but nothing more. Regardless, he'd stayed observing the distraught woman from the shadows.

In the morning he'd watched as Kagome cleansed and prayed over his deceased brother's body. Later on in the day she'd sat by unhappily and observed as friends and acquaintances came by to view the corpse one final time and to say their goodbyes.

The next morning four grave diggers went on ahead to prepare Inuyasha's burial site at the base of the Tree of Ages. Around mid morning rain had started to fall lightly, and by the time the village monk, a descendant of the Tajiya and Miroku had arrived with five men to carry the casket, the steady downpour had increased into torrents.

He had followed the procession discretely, staying out of sight and suppressing his aura while respectfully watching the entire proceedings and then just as unobtrusively left, but not before sending out a smidgen of his aura to let the woman know that he had been there. Why he had done that? He wasn't quite certain. Perhaps it was his way of saying farewell to her and to let her know that she wasn't alone. Because, in truth he had no intention at that time to look after her as Inuyasha had requested. He should have just left things alone, because now he had far more than he could handle.

 _ **sksksk**_

The cave seemed smaller now that she had been held up in it for two days waiting on Sesshomaru's return. She began to despair as she paced the length of the cave, wondering if he had abandoned her again. She hadn't felt like eating much since Inuyasha passed away, her grief too strong. She could not claim so anymore, because now she was ravenous and her belly rumbled like thunder. It was something that she could not ignore for much longer. She had to leave; she couldn't wait on him anymore.

On her way out she remembered that she was wearing Sesshomaru's shirt and stopped. She looked around trying to locate her kimono and when she found it, it was ripped apart. She sighed and picked up a piece of the fabric, then tore off a long strip and tied it around her waist, now she felt better, before she'd felt like she had worn a deflated balloon.

Getting ready to leave again she wondered how she was going to climb back down the mountain. Climbing up was one thing but getting back down was a different matter altogether. She smiled sheepishly as she recalled the many times that Buyo, as a young cat had climbed the Tree of Ages, only to reach the top and had spend the rest of the day calling for her to get him back down. Now she understood what the poor cat must have felt like, stranded so far from the ground.

Light filtering through the mouth of the cave was a welcomed sight and she hastened her steps to get out into the open air. However, as she was about to walk into the sunshine a shadow suddenly blocked the entrance, she shrieked and fell to her bottom in fright. The shadow moved closer to her and she screamed; it stopped abruptly. She backed away on her bottom opening up a wider gap between it and her, but also realizing that whatever it was did not make an attempt to come any closer or try to harm her. When she was an acceptable distance away she got up panting harshly and nervously looked at the dark shape closely.

She shook her head in relief when she saw that it was only Ah-Un. She hadn't seen the beast in many years, not since Rin had lived in the village. It was a pleasant surprise to finally see the two-headed dragon again. Calmly she approached the creature and patted both heads; they sniffed at her face and hands, reacquainting themselves with her scent until they were satisfied. Without any prodding the dragon purposely bent low and allowed her to mount him. When she was comfortably seated on the animal's back she leaned in and whispered in his ear. _"Let's fly."_

Ah-Un snorted and pushed off easily, taking her away from the mountain. When she was finally zipping through the air she smiled, knowing that Sesshomaru had not abandoned her like she had thought before, and now she wouldn't have to wonder how she would make it down the hill after all. The autumn view was breathtaking from above, red, gold and brown mixing to form an exotic quilt over the land. The branches of trees fluttered like flags in the breeze as a pack of wolves ran beneath their sheltering boughs, reminding her of Kouga and the others.

She directed Ah-Un towards Edo although privately she wanted to stay airborne, the wild and untamed geographical expanse of nature made her forget all her troubles, as the sweet smelling wind blew in her face. She closed her eyes and took a long whiff of air before opening them again; all too soon she was home. With a nudge on the reigns of her ride she descended.

The house was as she had left it three days ago, nothing was out of place, the tea kettle still hung over the fire pit and the air smelled of burnt incense. She poured some water into the kettle, re-lit the fire-pit, and then retrieved tea leaves and some apples from the cupboards.

She called out to Ah-Un and he padded inside towards the kitchen where she was. She threw each head an apple that they caught and happily chewed. After she had eaten, she made sure to pack a leather bag with clothes and some toiletries so that she would be prepared when Sesshomaru came for her.

Later that night she fell into a restless sleep. The spirit of her husband still resided in the house and it made her uncomfortable. When he was dying he did not want to go and leave her all by herself, that notion worried him more than anything else. She knew that until she was safe and happy he would not move on.

Inuyasha had always been so fiercely protective of her, and even in death he watched over her still. She almost felt like crying again, but forced the sadness away by thinking on the future.

She got up the next day to another overcast morning and mechanically made breakfast for herself, ushering the dragon out of the house to go in search of his own food. She didn't have enough to feed both of them. When she was alone and had time to think her mind took her back to the cave and what had nearly transpired there. It was no secret between her and Sango in the early days that they had both admired the Daiyoukai, and they both had thought that he was handsome, pretty even, and very attractive, but both their hearts were already taken by other individuals.

At that time if they had been foolish enough to want him, the fact that he did not like their humanity, with Rin being the sole exception, and even then she did not believe that Rin was the only human that he had liked, because he was always in their company and was civil. Still, he had been curt and without any type of allure.

But nothing could prepare her for the flood of wantonness that had flared when he had kissed her, she had tasted his exotic flavor, felt the wild untamed passion of his touch, and kami forbid she had wanted him. Was she doomed to only want demon men? She was not yet ready to follow her husband into the after-life, and the time would come when she would want companionship again. Would only that species of male be sufficient?

It worried her, because she had never looked at a human man and burned for them the way that she had burned for InuYasha or his brother, had never secretly longed for their touch, even within the confines of her own mind, like she had for them. Inuyasha had been very sick for five years before he had finally succumbed to his illness, and in that time she had remained celibate.

The natural urges of her body had risen and oftentimes she would become quite frustrated, but there had been no relief for her because she would not give in as long as her husband lived; choosing to focus all of her attention on her husband rather than the needs of her own body. In all that time, despite how her eyes would occasionally wander, not one human man had caught her attention like her InuYasha.

She was a mature woman now even though she did not look it. She had her theories on what may have contributed to her youthfulness but now was not the time to worry about that. Or, at least, nothing that she thought would affect her anytime soon. No, Sesshoumaru was her only concern right now, him and this unyielding attraction they had.

They'd both had strong reservations about what they were doing that day. And whether it was good sense or some unspoken understanding that had passed between them, they had both stopped before they could do anything they would have regretted. Still, something was not adding up, she remembered Sesshomaru saying that his debt to Inuyasha had been extinguished. At the time she had been too distraught to ponder on its meaning, but now she couldn't help but to think on it.

Thinking on her time with Daiyoukai was enough to give her a headache, and still she was no closer in solving the mystery surrounding him. Kagome rested her head on the table after her long internal debate and quickly fell asleep.

 _ **sksksk**_

He could keep his promise to Inuyasha and still have a normal existence he thought as he flew towards Edo in search of the woman. Three days had dragged by and yet he had not reached any clear resolution on the promise that he had made. He was still undecided at this point but had asked her to wait on him with the guarantee that he would be back. And he would keep his word.

He sighed with the memory of the raw desire that he had felt for her; those feelings would undoubtedly cause some conflict between them. He would stay close but keep her at a distance. What irony. He was quite certain that she would have left the cave by now, so he wouldn't even waste time by stopping there. She needed to eat and that necessity would have forced her to leave the mountain; and he had made preparations for her to travel by summoning his dragon to assist her when he had left.

He spotted Ah-Un munching on wild melons in his brother's forest on his way to Kagome and stopped for a few moments, he scented the air and her aroma smelled strongly on the beast, he then proceeded towards her home. The house was deathly quiet as he listened and for a moment he thought that she was not in. He listened more keenly this time and heard her soft intake of breath and knew that she was asleep. He trailed into the kitchen and saw her sleeping form slumped onto the table.

He observed her for a few minutes. Her hair was washed and loose, smelling strongly of berries, the tresses long and smooth spilled forward forming a curtain around her face blocking it from his view. A tender feeling washed across his senses upon seeing her, he hissed at the annoyance and the dread that welled up inside his heart. He couldn't afford to let his heart lead him around blindly like an inexperienced mutt in spite of what it was implying.

Although asleep she felt his presence in the house and stirred awake. She saw him standing in the far corner of the kitchen. When he realized that she had awakened he walked away without saying a word. Luckily she was already packed and her belongings were by her feet, she snatched up the bag and quickly hurried after him.

As she walked behind him she remembered that the Tajiya village was close by and that she wanted to stop there, but how should she go about mentioning the subject to him. It was clear to see that he did not want to talk to her, and it made her wonder what was his reasons were for coming back if he despised her so much. She felt uncomfortable in his presence more than before, but she really needed to go to that village, she was unsure of herself, afraid to tell him what she needed to do and so she stopped walking.

He felt her unease and knew that she lagged behind; he was aware of the problem but tried to ignore it. He needed to stay clear of her less he make a mistake, the woman was trouble wrapped up in a pretty exterior, one that he did not need in his way right now.

He turned around and frowned. _"We should keep going, the journey will be long."_

She shut her eyes a moment at the sight of his burning golden gaze, shutting out the memory of their tryst and responded _. "I need to make a quick stop at the Tajiya village."_

He did not ask her for the purpose of the detour, he nodded indicating that he would wait for her.

She took that as her cue and ran off towards the path. When she got to the village some time later she was breathless. Most villagers were inside their homes worshiping, making the place as quiet as a tomb. Nevertheless she made her way to a house that belonged to one of Sango's descendants and knocked.

The door opened a short time later and a middle aged man stood in the doorway smiling brightly. " _Hello Kagome san nice to see you,"_ he said and bowed, _"please come in."_

She shook her head. " _No I cannot, I only have time to retrieve the cat,"_ she said hastily, apologetically.

" _No worries wait here,"_ he said and smiled, turning to go back inside.

A few minutes later he returned with a small bundle in his hand. Kagome smiled; the man had brought to her a kitten, one of the last litters Kirara birthed before she had died three months ago.

She took the kitten and hugged it close, stoking its furry head; it purred and licked her fingers.

" _Thank you,"_ she said without looking up, and then turned and left quickly.

On her way back to Sesshomaru she observed that the kitten was an exact replica of her mother, except that her markings were not as distinct, probably because she was a baby. Kagome gasped when Ah-Un unexpectedly nudged her in the back, she had not noticed his approach too caught up with her new pet to detect their presence. Sesshomaru spoke up from behind the lesser youkai.

" _Mount the beast, rain will come soon."_

Kagome glanced up at the sky and saw the change. Without further delay she strapped her bag to her back and mounted the animal. Sesshomaru didn't hesitate once she was seated; he flew off first keeping an even pace so that she and the dragon could follow close behind.

The first tiny raindrop fell on her hand and she glanced up, dark clouds were rolling in, and the temperature suddenly dropped around them. Her body trembled slightly in trepidation; she did not want to get caught up in another bout of rain. She had barely recovered from her illness and it wouldn't be wise to get wet again so soon.

As they flew she couldn't tell how many miles they'd put between them and Edo, all she knew was that she was feeling queasy and her bottom felt sore. How she wished they'd get to their destination soon? Alas, she did not know when that would be.

Rain started to drizzle after a time and increased steadily as they journeyed. She worried about getting wet and becoming sick again while the kitten snuggled closer to her body. Relief came when Sesshomaru descended, Ah-Un following and soon they were standing in front of a large house on a huge property with beautiful flowers and many variety of trees.

She didn't hesitate in making a quick dash out of the rain onto the dry porch where two youkai females waited.

" _Welcome,"_ they both said and bowed.

She was both surprised and cautious. Why would they be welcoming her? She was Sesshomaru's burden and not an honored guest. None of this was making any sense. Anyhow she was not as rude or impolite not to answer and so she returned their greeting.

She bowed and politely said. _"Thank you."_

Sesshomaru walked past them without saying a word, the maids took her bag and ushered her inside to a room which was sparsely furnished and elegant. It had in it a large bed, a vanity, a closet and a small table with two chairs in a corner. Everything clean and fresh smelt of the season and she wondered if like the new season her life would be just as fresh.


	7. Chapter 7

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The first month of her new life flew by quickly like a dream, but sadly it was not a promising one. What was she expecting? Did she naively believe that things would slowly get better between then given time? Perhaps that's what she'd hoped for but the reality she faced was so different. The lord remained cold and uninterested in her though he ensured that the youkai maids took care of her physical needs like cooking her meals and doing the laundry but otherwise they kept to themselves. She didn't have to guess why that was so; it was obvious to see that they were following Sesshomaru's instructions.

Not once but many times after he had left for an extended period of time they had drawn shyly to her side and had initiated conversation. They'd questioned her about her history with their lord, where she was from among other curious things about her, like her manner of speech, her scent and her vibrant blue eyes. It was at those times that she truly felt relaxed, she would smile, she felt like she was making friends and letting go of Inuyasha seemed plausible. However, those moments were short-lived because he was never gone for long.

When he was around he watched her constantly although he pretended not to do so. He would only speak to her if it was completely unavoidable. His behavior was putting a strain on her mind and heart because her feelings for him slowly grew. Maybe it was the color of his hair and eyes; maybe it was his commanding presence that was so like InuYasha's in so many ways that drew her to him, that made her _want_ him. But… no, it couldn't just be that. For all of InuYasha's positive attributes there really was no comparing him to his brother.

Where InuYasha had been as wild and as utterly untamed as the forest she had found him, Sesshoumaru was like a finely honed blade, cold, clean, and unerringly precise. Where InuYasha had warmed the very core of her being, Sesshoumaru set her ablaze. Kagome bit her lip and shuddered at the comparison, before quickly forcing her thoughts to more benign problems.

There wasn't much to do within Sesshoumaru's home, so passing the time became a chore. She was bored and often times she would walk the property with only her cat for company trying to learn the layout of her new residence. Or sit out under the trees by the river watching the sunlight filtering through spaces, or she would take a swim, but as the season blew colder she couldn't venture out very often.

""""""

Winter's passing was cold and drab, and loneliness had begun to take its toll on her. She had two friends in her new home and sadly neither could speak; a demon cat and a dragon. She found herself talking to them at times anyway to help break up the monotony. Sometimes on the bad days she could swear that when she looked in their faces she could see pity in their eyes for her. It made her want to cry.

The bitter cold months passed and nothing had changed between them, she didn't know how much longer she could endure the isolation. Another summer was upon her and she was alive thankfully, but the loneliness made her yearn for Inuyasha all the more, and despair had started to set in. She had to do something before she went insane.

She had overslept because of restlessness that night and had gone to bed very late, but now she was wide awake. She yawned and stretched welcoming the day. Today would be a good day to start her quest to make friends with Sesshomaru and hence putting an end to the awkwardness and boredom.

Sesshomaru was not in the house but she could feel his overbearing presence on the property. She didn't care if he did not want to see her, she would risk his temper, she needed to be close to someone. She wanted to make idle conversation, break up the repetitiveness, anything other than what she was feeling, anything to make her feel alive. She needed to talk with another intelligent being, to remember what it was like to interact with another soul. And even though she hated to admit it even to herself, Sesshoumaru was all that she had.

It was mid-morning now and the first day of summer, she eased out of bed to perform the morning's ritual of cleansing herself and having breakfast. She was not in the best of moods but that would not deter her from speaking to Sesshomaru. Too much time had already elapsed and their relationship had not improved.

She did away way with her personal hygiene and breakfast quickly and then she thanked the dark haired demoness that had served her the meal and politely informed her that she was going for a walk and would be back shortly, and then took her leave.

Half way to her destination, Michi her cat brushed up against her legs, she had not realized that the kitten had followed her. She purred and curled her limbered body around her legs. Kagome grinned at the cat recognizing that she wanted to be carried; she picked her up and gazed into her soft yellow eyes.

 _"You really are a lazy cat but I love you,"_ she said affectionately and nuzzled the kitten's face.

Michi licked her face with a roughened tongue and purred louder, Kagome jokingly cringed by the contact and then continued towards the river where she knew Sesshomaru would be. She had easily pinpointed his whereabouts over half an hour ago and curiously he wasn't alone. She put the thought to the back of her mind and pressed on while humming an old song from her childhood days.

As she approached the river she stopped and gazed at scenery. It had a rock formation with a small drop of about six feet which emptied into a large pool, and she wondered whether or not if the clear water that settled into the basin was a natural formation or an artificial one. Either way it was beautiful.

She snapped out of her musings when she heard mutterings and slowly began to walk again. The nearer she approached the more her curiosity grew; she strained her ears and could only hear unintelligible ramblings. There were too many things crackling inside her head like the breeze, the gushes and gurgles of the river, and fear, yet she could not turn back.

She stopped and took a long deep breath trying to clear her mind before taking another step, but as she got closer the noises became very different. Muffled gasps and moans that appeared to be coming from several meters away assaulted her ears. The gasps and moans got louder with every step that carried her closer to the truth, and a pain stole in her heart. She didn't see them yet, and maybe she should turn back, but she couldn't. Her heart wanted to know, because as much as she had fought it these many months, she was slowly falling in love with the Daiyoukai.

Trembling, she moved from behind a boulder and saw two bodies in motion on the other side of the river, shaded from the sun by lush river plants and giant trees writhing in pleasure. From this angle she saw as Sesshomaru mounted the female from the back, she squealed loudly in delight and he grunted in satisfaction. As she watched tears stung her eyes; her heart and soul felt like it had slowly but painfully parted from her body and floated away, so that her mind and consciousness were separated from her limbs. Michi fell from her hands. She couldn't take it, she couldn't watch anymore. She closed her eyes and ran blindly away from them, never stopping until she reached her bedroom and flopped onto her bed crying hopelessly.

He knew the moment that the priestess had left the house to come in search of him; he was already in the middle of something and he wasn't going to stop just to please her. He was grown and had a right to do whatever he wanted in his own home. Still he had been somewhat surprised and a little anxious by her actions when suddenly she'd fled and the scent of tears had drifted to him on the breeze.

He told himself that he didn't care and had no reason to feel any shame or guilt. The woman being in his life was an obligation and nothing more. And then suddenly the female under him felt the brunt of his driving frustrations, with every stab of his hips, every harsh plunge, every near withdrawal he hammered away the confusion until he was spent.

Later in the day he returned to the house feeling a bit concerned about the priestess after seeing how distraught she had been earlier. The demoness that he had the dalliance with had already left. He tried to open Kagome's door but it was locked, he shrugged and walked away.

Many hours later after she had calmed and could hear herself think again, she went to the window and looked outside, all she could see was the beauty of the land, nature at its best yet it brought her no joy. She shook her head not knowing if she would be able to survive long enough to get back to her time, because in six months she didn't know whether she was coming or going.

She left the window to go get a chair and returned with it a short time later. She placed it at the window and sat to ease the burden of fatigue. With nothing else to do but think, she sat there until it grew darker as night approached and solitude had started to make her sad again. Then, suddenly there was an urgent tap at the door. Her eyes left the window as she slanted her head in that direction.

 _"Who is it?"_ She asked softly.

 _"Lady Kagome it's time for dinner,"_ one of the maids replied.

Kagome hesitated for a moment and then answered. _"I am sorry for your troubles but I do not wish for food now."_ Her voice almost quivered as she had spoken, but she willed away the pain in her tone with a deep breath.

 _"Okay see you in the morning,"_ the female said from behind the door. After which Kagome heard lithe footsteps as she walked away, and then she turned and faced the window again.

The full moon steadily rose in the sky, she felt even more empty and alone. She sighed deeply when she remembered that on some nights like these Inuyasha's demonic heritage would fade and he would become a handsome dark haired human. Now the pain in her heart from the memories of her dead husband was finally fading and in its place a new ache throbbed. She could not get the image of Sesshomaru having sex with that female out of her head. It was scandalous, and one that she could have lived a thousand more years without seeing, then all of a sudden she remembered her kitten. She gasped; she had dropped her as she'd fled the scene of her anguish.

The chair tipped over from the abruptness of her movements in her haste to find Michi, she ran swiftly from the house out into the darkness. She dashed fifty paces before she heard purring behind her and turned around. She was so relieved that quickly she gathered the kitten close.

Sesshomaru had heard the noise and came outside to investigate; he stopped when he saw that she was alright. He watched while she rocked the kitten lovingly not knowing yet that he was there. He couldn't put into words what he felt gazing at her bathed in the moon's glow. She made him feel things that he did not want to feel or should feel. She was human and had been Inuyasha's woman, all of which was vexing to him.

She took a step unaware that he stood on the porch hidden in the shadows, but as she got closer she halted. She froze. Not yet grasping full control over her emotions she had wanted to avoid him at all cost; and for him to just stand there and stare at her like nothing had happened disturbed her greatly. She felt nauseated and her hands trembled as she gazed at his beautiful face; she placed Michi back on the ground in fear that she might actually drop her. No sooner had she done that the unwanted images of him pounding into an unnamed female flooded her mind. Her fingers bended form a tight knot with how much jealousy she felt. She took a deep cleansing breath silently; she had to get away from him. She had to shut out those images somehow.

Despite how frustrated he was he could see that the priestess was genuinely hurt by what she had seen, but he would not empathize with her, she had no right to be spying on him. She needed to learn her place; he had to set some boundaries.

She crossed the steps leading onto the patio determined to move pass him silently, then suddenly he grabbed her arm and spun her around roughly. His lips parted and she turned away, she didn't want to hear anything that he had to say right now.

He drew nearer; she swallowed thickly and he whispered by her ear. _"You should mind your own business,"_ he said calmly, menacingly, _"you are a guest in my home and my affairs do not concern you."_

She was stunned, of all the things that he could have said to her why that? It's not like she had gone out of her way to spy on him. All she'd wanted at the time was someone to talk to. How dare he imply that she was a stalker? She jerked her head away from him and stared. She saw a cruel, spiteful adversary and forgot about the calmness that she was trying to invite into her spirit, and she despised him anew. How could he say such things to her after all that she had been through?

She raised her hand, angry at him and determined to strike that arrogant spiteful look off his face. He caught her wrist in such a malicious hold that she cried out from the pain of it. He stared at her with cold hostility, and her body quivered, she lowered her head to hide from him the emotions that might betray her true feelings. She didn't hate him; she was falling in love with him and was jealous and confused.

She looked up again, her eyes flashing with fire as the painful grip had not lessened and he was much too close. She couldn't breathe, she was still so very wary of him, frightened of the feelings she harbored for him. She had to make him let her go and run, but she couldn't move just yet.

He leaned in again, his hands upon her shoulders, he laughed, mocking her. _"Priestess, did you enjoy what you saw while you spied on me?"_

Startled only a moment, humiliated by his words she forgot the fear that had crippled her as she watched his face, and before she could stop herself the words just tumbled right out.

 _"Why would I care what you do with your time and whores, I am relieved and elated that it wasn't me, you are nothing but a low life dog!"_

He fell upon her in an instant. The next thing that she knew his fingers were tearing through her hair. In wild panic she raged against him, fear filled her, suddenly he let go of her hair, shredded the kimono from her body and was all over her. She stifled a cry of distress and surprise.

His fingertips and claws burned as it touched her naked flesh, she gasped as currents flowed throughout her body. What was happening? She didn't know, but this was not what she wanted. She had felt his passion before, but he had never been brutal, and now he ravaged her body with harsh bites and hurried licks, gazed at her with burning desire but with hatred as well. She twisted against the strength of his arms, but had no hopes of escape; his grip was like cast iron.

His mouth fell onto hers with cruelty, she gasped out loud, she felt his fang ripped into and tore her lips, she screamed with pain, her mouth enveloped with blood she spat it out. Her eyes ballooned at the gulp he made as he swallowed it. He was frightening her, she didn't want to but she had to stop him now. Her fingers sizzled and she brought it swiftly with a slap to his chest and burned him, she could smell roasting flesh, he stared at her in surprise and pushed away suddenly. His face an angry mask, his teeth clenched; with her new found freedom she ran away from him to her bedroom and locked the door.

She knew that wouldn't be enough to stop him if he chose to retaliate, but she was hoping that she had burned some sense into him. But as she stood in the room leaning against the door, panting harshly, fearful and jittery she heard when he slammed his own room door. She slid down the length of hers in relief. She would not get any sleep tonight.

Michi - Pathway


	8. Chapter 8

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His chest was tender at the spot where she'd burned him, and combined with the prickling sensation as it healed was a constant reminder that the priestess was an annoyance. Clutching a damp rag he wiped the area, he scowled and made a noise, half snort, half sigh with discomfort before immersing himself into the warm waters drawn for his bath. The balmy water was soothing, lessening the stresses from his mind and body, although no amount of relaxing baths could completely erase the reasons for his anxieties. Unless of course, the cause for all his worries would suddenly vanish from within his midst.

That notion was an unlikely scenario that would never happen. He had promised Inuyasha to look after her, and as much as he was rethinking that promise, because having Kagome around was more trouble than it was worth. He sighed deeply and made a silent wow, his jaws locked tight with frustration; regardless of the strain he would honor his word.

He shifted in the bath so that now his head rested on the metal edge of the tub and closed his eyes. With his eyes closed he recalled the raw passion that their one intimate act had awakened in him. But this unexpected emotional need, one that made him yearned to break her and then mould her into whatever shape he desired wasn't something he was prepared for. Perhaps the dog in him and its ever increasing territorial instincts were the explanation for the bothersome urges. The woman fed his wild nature in a way that no other female ever could.

Whether or not she understood what her insolence and the way she regularly defied him did to his psyche, and how it affected him didn't concern him too much? If she chose to continue on that same taxing path he would simply break her without another thought. Many times over the past six months he'd tried to convince himself that she was insignificant and that he'd even hated her for the disruption in his well ordered life. He had ignored her and had kept his anger as a low burning fire that he held close to his heart and strengthened whenever his mind wandered to that rainy afternoon in the cave; and still he could not hate her.

The more stubbornly he'd tried to suppress his weakness whenever he saw her, or in the dark of the night when alone, he found himself longing for her and the passion that she'd stolen from him. He still ached to touch her, to feel her pliant flesh fitted to his form. Still longed to smell the wild berries of her hair, and although he did not get the chance then, he longed to taste the sensuous flavor of her womanhood that had flooded the cave when she had been aroused. Even now he wondered what that taste would be like imprinted on his tongue and senses.

He hissed and clenched his jaws tight to keep from thinking about her, and a moment later with a heavy sigh guided all his energy into reducing the size of his shaft that was rigid and painfully hard, pulsing with need in the water. As hard as he tried he could not rid of the throbbing erection. Yet again tonight he would have to find release by his own hands. The indignity of it all was most infuriating. He groaned and submerged his hand, hesitating briefly before grasping his swollen phallus and then began the degrading task of cooling down.

His only redemption coming tomorrow would be that he would be gone from her presence for two weeks. He had his lands to patrol, allowing him some much needed breathing room. But for now he had no other choice than to engage in a task that he found to be quite shameful.

He gritted his teeth, refusing to react to the pleasure coursing through him as he sought release. The muscles in his arm flexed each time that he pumped up and down. A line of sweat formed across his brow as the physical demands of his body soared. The tingling in his scrotum stretched all the way to the bulbous head of his manhood. A trickle of pre-cum gushed from the opening at the apex of his shaft, his spine stiffened, his grasp tightened and the movement of his hand increased with his strokes.

His climax was almost upon him and he groaned gutturally in spite of his efforts to repress the sounds earlier. The evidence of his relief spurted from his stiff member turning a portion of the clear water cloudy as it mixed in with it. The amount surprised him and he was revolted even further by the disgraceful sight.

He freed himself of the water in a hurry, drenching the spaces around the tub and walked briskly to his bed. There he unloaded himself wet and naked and tried hard to find rest.

 _ **sksksk**_

Sleep was slow in coming for Kagome that night sitting and resting against the door. Her nerves in tatters and her hands shook from having to defend herself from a feral demon lord, she couldn't move yet her body was on high alert. Her place by the door was a vigil of sorts; it was the only place in the room that she felt safe because if Sesshomaru suddenly attacked, she would be alerted of his presence immediately.

She couldn't understand what went wrong. Why did Sesshomaru display so much hostility towards her; even going out of his way to provoke her without cause when all she was trying to do was to be civil so that they could have an uncomplicated time living together. Needless to say none of it was making any sort of sense to her at the moment. They had never been friends in the traditional way, but after destroying a common enemy together they had what she had believed to be a quiet truce.

She shook her head sadly not fully grasping what had caused, still was causing the problems between the two of them. Nothing that she thought clarified the situation any further, except, maybe…But no! That couldn't be. Her eyes widened in the dark for one fleeting moment. Stunned she gasped. How could she have been so naïve?

It had happened several months ago in a cave high up in a mountain on the outskirts of Edo. Could it be that he still held onto a grudge because she had stopped him? But to what end? She had just buried Inuyasha and was in mourning. He had been cold, she was a mess and things had gotten out of hand, it was as simple as that, or so she had thought. She couldn't accept it, the knowledge. Not now. Not yet. To realize that she was partly to be blamed for all of it in a time when she was at her lowest was too much to handle. She closed her eyes, hoping in the process to shut out the dreadful reality.

If in fact she was indeed correct, things would only get uglier if she did not give in to his demands. Inuyasha had told her that as demons especially canine ones, they were natural born predators. The blood of a victim excites, calling out to primal urges; sometimes the urge was to kill, to rut, to claim a mate or even just for carnage. Either way the urge would not cease unless the need was sated. Inuyasha was only a half demon and had been so passionate when he'd related that bit of news to her. So she could only imagine the excruciating lust and confusion that Sesshomaru must be feeling as a full bloodied demon. But he wasn't a low life beast, he was an intelligent being with complex desires and had control over them, so she hoped, or else she would be caught up in a very serious predicament.

For kami's sake she had already started to like the Daiyoukai a great deal, but her liking him wasn't about the physical alone. Together they had almost crossed into dangerous waters, and now it would seem that Sesshomaru wanted what she was not prepared to give him at the moment. She forced her eyes closed, wiling her mind into blankness so that she could sleep. When she finally found rest, it was an uneasy one.

 _ **sksksk**_

Sunlight streaming through the tops of the curtains hit her face with its warm breath and she opened her eyes. She stretched before getting up, her bones snapped and she felt better. What she needed was a long soothing bath to clear the remaining chinks from her mind and body.

The knocking at the door startled her; she got up quickly and reached for a robe that was already on the bed. She slipped into it easily and then answered.

 _"Please come in."_

Her eyes were steadily focused on the door even though she knew that it was just one of her attendants and not Sesshomaru. She was still nervous from last night and as of yet had not gained control over the edgy sensations. The door opened a short time later and the red haired demoness entered.

 _"Good morning lady Kagome,"_ the demoness greeted her upon entering. Kagome nodded her reply, the demoness continued. _"Your bath is ready and so too is the morning meal, you can eat as soon as you are done."_

It was obvious to Kagome that although the demoness had spoken kindly something seemed to be bothering her. She turned to leave, then paused and turned around and sighed.

" _Mistress the lord has left and I was told to inform you that he will be gone for two weeks," s_ he said it quickly, bowed and left this time for good, leaving Kagome alone with her thoughts and miserable.

This was so much like him, every time that there was a crisis between them he would leave; nothing will ever be resolved between them this way. It was frustrating; she clamped a hand to her forehead and snorted in exasperation.

 _ **sksksk**_

Before the day was done, she had walked the length of the property at least five times feeling alone and empty, more so now because he wasn't around. At least before although he did not speak to her much, she had always taken comfort in the fact that he was close by.

She spent one wretched week without him and by the time the second day of the following week had expired, she couldn't sit still any longer. She felt stifled, she couldn't breathe, she had to leave now or she would certainly explode.

After breakfast she went in search of Ah-Un and found him feasting on fallen plums near the river. She gave him carrots and whispered in his ear. _"Take me to Edo."_ He lowered himself in silent understanding and she climbed on. When she had been gone for some time she remembered that she had not related her intention to leave to the servants. She shrugged, it was too late anyway and she was definitely not going to turn back.

It was a hot day, and even with the heavy breeze she had started to perspire. She felt perspiration running down her back and constantly had to dab at her brows and throat with her handkerchief, and now it was so moist and dirty she couldn't use it anymore.

Nearing Edo she pulled on the dragon's reigns directing him to the forest floor; the open sky was making her hot and uncomfortable. She would travel the remainder of the way on the ground in the shade of the trees.

It was cooler now in the shade, nothing to hinder her now but her thoughts. There was no easy way to stop the flood that immersed her mind with Sesshomaru, though she tried her best to ignore them, focusing instead on the woods teaming with life with its shy inhabitants. Soon she was almost in Edo and there was one urgent thing that she needed to do while she was there; she must visit Inuyasha's grave. She had left abruptly after the burial ceremony chasing after Sesshomaru. She had been grieving at the time and couldn't manage to say the words that she'd needed to say to her husband, and now it was time to say her final goodbyes.

Slowly she dismounted when she was in the familiar space of Inuyasha's forest; holding onto the beast's harness she guided him the rest of the way. Her eyes brimmed with tears the closer she came to the unmarked grave, that state was something that needed to be changed soon.

She stopped and looked down on the baked earth of his grave, a patch of yellow, white and red flowering bushes had begun to spread around the right side of the mound. Her knees buckled and she fell onto them as overwhelming sadness rushed throughout her body pooling painfully into her heart. She couldn't breathe for a moment.

Grief so weighty filled her that she cried out. Ah-Un came to stand behind her and she leaned onto his side for support as sorrow and the tears she'd held back burst forth from her being. She trembled and sniffled as the world spun around her, she felt unbalanced and faint, but held onto a promise that she had made to her husband before he'd died and it gave her strength.

She had promised him to continue, to live on long after he was gone. She wiped her tears, blew her nose to clear the congestion away. She tried to smile but her face contorted into a frown instead, she cleared her throat to rid of the sting before she could speak. Now she was as ready as she would ever be.

 _"I am trying to live without you but it is so hard. I miss you so much and I will never forget you my love. I will never forget our disagreements or the love that we'd shared,"_ her voice broke as the tears flowed once more so that she had to pause awhile before she could carry on.

 _"It is so hard here without you my love and at times I fear that I will never make it."_ She stopped speaking again, closed her eyes tight now that her heart felt so full that it might actually burst with all the grief it carried.

Minutes passed before she was able to continue. _"I am with your brother now, and although we had not spoken about it I think it would be what you would have wanted me to do. He is difficult but with him I feel closer to you. I have to go now but I want you to know that I will never forget you."_

She didn't get up immediately; she maintained her lowered position by the graveside, waiting for the tears that streamed down her face to stop. Then suddenly an idle wind blew over and seemed to stroke her cheek gently, her body quivered and she stilled. She didn't move while she felt the soothing caress. There was no malevolence in it and oddly enough she wasn't afraid.

The wind and the soft touches passed over quickly. Her fingers mapped the path of the caress afterwards; she felt calmer now and got up. She looked around searching for the ghost of her husband and saw only the dragon. She sighed deeply and held onto the beast's reigns, knowing in her heart that Inuyasha had tried to comfort her just now.

Silently she left the gravesite after she had calmed. Her next stop would be at the slayers village; however, before she went there she would leave Ah-Un in the woods where he would be safer. As she walked the rest of the way to the compound of Miroku and Sango's descendants she contemplated whether or not to ask them to build a headstone for Inuyasha's grave. But then she thought, no problem there, she wouldn't ask anyone in particular, she would just throw the idea out there and let it linger; she had a feeling that it would sort itself out.

The sound of hammering grew louder as she approached the metal smith factory in the slayers village, there she would find whom she searched for.

She walked briskly inside the yard and a nostalgic feeling overshadowed her, it reminded her of the good old days. She smiled and approached a group sitting under a large tree; everyone there turned around and greeted her with happy smiles.

 _"Priestess,"_ the man that had given her the kitten called from inside the shop, _"are you back in Edo for good?"_

Kagome smiled and said. _"No I'm only here for a short time, is there something that you would like me to do?"_ She questioned him.

He smiled back at her and then responded. _"Well it's convenient since you are here; a friend of mine is sick and is in need of care and medicine. I know it's a lot to ask of you so suddenly so you needn't bother yourself with it if it's too much."_

 _"I could stay awhile,"_ she replied to the pleasure of everyone present.

 _"Good,"_ the only female of the group said _, "come and sit we are preparing lunch."_

She smiled sweetly and then nibbled on her lips as she sat down. _"I was wondering,"_ she said gaining everyone's attention again, _"would it be a bother…ahm, say around the anniversary of Inuyasha's death to build a monument for his grave to honor him."_

 _"A bother,"_ the man to her right said a little loudly, _"your husband and our ancestors are heroes and should be remembered as such. We will craft the headstone and make merry in his honor."_

 _"Thank you all,"_ Kagome gushed, " _I will come back close to the time to help with the preparations."_

 _"It is settled then priestess."_

Kagome spent four more days in Edo with her friends before going back to the west. She felt more like her old self again. The sabbatical really did her a world of good.

 _ **sksksk**_

The first sign of summer's rain hung in the sky like a thick dark curtain, telling him that it was time he went home; his business here was done and yet he was reluctant. These past two weeks alone had given him some semblance of clarity and order and he was hesitant to change it. Still he could not stay away forever, whatever he avoided he would have to face soon.

Impulsively he made a detour to Edo and now stood looking down on his brother's grave. Faintly, but it was there, the scents of the woman who plagued his thoughts and that of his beast.

He was startled at first and couldn't help but to scowl. Then he relaxed, he had no authority over what the priestess did or where she wanted to go. She was a guest in his home and as such was free to do whatever she wanted.

After some thought he sat by the base of the tree. Here he would remain until tomorrow morning before he left. He sighed as his mind wandered to the last time that he had seen his brother alive and a gentle smile came upon him. He had finally acknowledged Inuyasha as his brother during the fight with Naraku and had come to genuinely care about him in spite of their differences.

His brother had been a very integral part of his life, in hate, in love and now in death. He felt peaceful here and wondered if Kagome had found peace and solitude here as well. He stayed the night watching over his brother's grave and felt better doing it.

In the morning before he left he took a feather from inside his yukata that had fallen on his brother's face over thirty years ago and buried it deep down under the dirt of his grave. He stood up after he was done, lifted his head and stared at the sky wondering if his half brother, like the feather that had floated to him had found peace and freedom in the afterlife. He shifted his head downwards and gazed at the grave once again, and then silently walked away.

 _ **sksksk**_

Kagome became annoyed by the heat and something else she would rather not think about at the moment. Rain had fallen for a short time heavily, making the day even hotter somehow. The sun was out again and just by looking no one could tell that earlier in the morning the heavens had opened up and had unloaded its burden.

The heavy garments that Sesshomaru had procured for her were beautiful but uncomfortable and hot. She had brought along with her four simple peasant dresses made of cotton which were cool from Edo. She scrunched her face up in thought, then undressed and redressed in the beige frock that she had made.

 _"Humph,"_ she sighed, _"so much better."_ She rolled a blanket and dropped it into a bag as well as some fruit to carry. On her way out she stopped at the door beside both demonesses and addressed them.

 _"I will be at the river for some time,"_ she said and waved goodbye.

 _"Have fun lady Kagome,"_ one of them responded.

 _I will,"_ she replied as she left.

The walk to the river was leisurely and sometime during the long stroll Michi jumped out of the bushes and clung to her leg like a sloth. She didn't stop; the added weight to her leg was not at all significant. The kitten was spending less and less time indoors and more time outside learning to catch small rodents. As she continued she passed Ah-Un along the way still indulging themselves on over-ripened plums. She picked up a few and dropped them into her bag. She might eat them later though she highly doubted that; the reddish purple fruit was not a favorite of hers because of the sourness. Perhaps she could feed them to Michi, the thought made her smile sheepishly.

At long last she reached her destination. She inhaled deeply the scent of the water and the vegetation around. It was peaceful here; the sound of the river as it gushes had a calming sleepy effect on her that she yawned. She shook off the drowsy sensation with a spirited stretch and then unfolded the blanket under a shady spot. First she would take a swim to lift the anxieties from her mind before she did anything else.

What to do? She had brought only one dress and she was wearing it, and she dared not get it wet if she was going to put it back on when she was done. Well, she thought, here was secluded; no one was around to see. With that in mind she stripped down butt naked and dove into the water.

The splash had the kitten running away from the edge of the water. Kagome laughed. _"I am so sorry I forgot that you don't like to get wet much."_

The water was cool and inviting, she had so much fun swimming around with not a care in the world. Sesshomaru should be back tomorrow she thought before getting out of the pool. To dry off she lay on the blanket naked making use of the mild breeze and soon she was lulled asleep by the tranquil surroundings.

 _ **sksksk**_

He was back home a day early because of his dead brother's wife. He simply could not get her off his mind though he'd tried his best. The sun was highest in the sky, it was around midday and he sensed that she was not in the house. He greeted his servants and went in search of the woman. It was time for them to talk; he did not like the aggression between them anymore than she did, and also he had promised his brother to care for her.

At the river he glanced around but did not see her immediately, she was some way from it in the shade. Quietly he made his way to the other side and saw her cat eating what looked to be a large lizard; he patted the kitten's head and pressed on. Before he knew it he was standing under a tree in the cool shade staring down on the priestess lying naked on her back. He was frozen, he couldn't move even if he had wanted to, and he could not look away either.

Her skin was clear and smooth, wine red nipples erected and her ample bosom fallen against her chest, a cinched waist that flared nicely into wide hips and firm toned belly and thighs. One leg lies flat on the ground while the other elevated and bended at the knee making it plain to see the spattering of dark hair there, and the fleshy portion of her womanhood peeking outside.

He was so close, two steps and he would be upon her. The heat was back hotter than ever. A flurry of emotions moved through him quickly settling in his loins. He steeled himself; he had no right to feel this way. He better leave now. He turned to go but it wasn't quick enough. Kagome woke up and saw him with his back turned as he was about to leave.

 _"Sesshomaru,"_ she muttered sleepily, _"when did you get back?"_

His fist clenched at his sides but he did not turn around. He'd hate for her to read in his eyes what he was struggling so hard to hide.

 _"Just now,"_ he answered stiffly, before making a hasty retreat.


	9. Chapter 9

**_Please read and review!_**

Realizing her state of undress and that he must have seen her nakedness while she'd slept, she shrieked, mortified that he had looked upon her body while she was unaware. But then she glanced up, Sesshomaru was almost out of sight, a few more strides and a bend and he would be gone from it completely. Kagome grabbed the discarded dress from beside her and sat up. In her heart a need had risen up like a tsunami and was pulling her in, there was so much urgency and she didn't fully understand it yet. All she knew after seeing him briefly was that she wanted him to remain close.

She had to get him to stay no matter what she had to do; perhaps the quiet tranquillity of the surroundings would put him in a better mood so that they could talk. Too many things were left unsaid between them, and they needed to come out in the open. She had come to the realization while he was away that not only did she miss him terribly; her feelings for him had suddenly grown like a tall un-breakable mountain

He was getting further away by the second, the more time that she spent contemplating.

He wouldn't hear her now if she called out to him from her clandestine position on the blanket, nor would he hear her cries over the roar of the river or the rush of the wind. He had gotten too far away. She stood up with her dress pressed to her bosom with one hand while the rest hung loosely down the front and bellowed out his name.

 _"SESSHOMARU PLEASE STOP!"_

The woman's loud pitch of his name shot through his brain with intensity so that he halted and turned around immediately. His heart rate quickened, he couldn't fathom what could be the cause of the desperation that he'd heard ringing into her tone. When he had left her moments ago she was fine, still he hastened his steps to her.

She didn't think to throw the dress over her head for modesty's sake. All she felt was an intense fear and loneliness by his leaving. She was frantic and her searching eyes looked everywhere for him. To her it felt like an eternity had passed while she waited, when in truth it had only been a few moments. Then suddenly he appeared. His gaze was steady as he perused her form trying to figure out the exigency that had left her. He couldn't tell, although curiously he saw the relieved breath that she expelled.

She was naked she reminded herself, and only the flimsy material of her dress shielded her modesty, which wasn't much considering that the sides of her breasts bulged and the constant breeze blew the dress askew exposing her lower half and private parts.

He swallowed thickly with need at the sight, and from memory had mapped every curve, every dip and swell of her body. Colour filled her cheeks watching the Daiyoukai consume her with his eyes.

She gaped at him and turned around exposing her backside when he made no effort to hide what he was thinking. At least this way she would not have to see his face. Kagome clenched her eyes tightly shut and whispered a silent prayer for strength because she felt vulnerable and her pride battered.

He on the other hand felt the ice surrounding his heart slowly melting; she was as beautiful standing there in the shade of the trees. Ebony hair cascaded down her back stopping short at the rise of her hips. Her soft flesh had started to pebble from the breeze and by her obvious distress that he had seen her nakedness.

Raw hunger swept savagely into his soul staring at her as he recalled both the anger and longing that she had evoked in him from their time spent in a cave. He knew that he was falling in love with her despite every tactic that he had employed to fight it; but the emotion was stronger than his pride.

But to love her would surely destroy both of them, because he would never be able to give her what her heart truly desired. He closed his eyes and told himself that he was being foolish. It was not love that he felt, but an incredible lust. And why not? The woman was stunning and shared the same attraction that he felt. He had known the truth from the first time that he had touched her body. He had wanted her then, he still does, and now he would take her.

A shadow moved behind her and she stiffened, her eyes widened and she tried not to think too much. This was what she wanted; she wanted him her heart kept saying. He placed both hands on her shoulders and her body trembled with the shock of it. He turned her around to face him, her head lowered; he lifted it and stared into eyes filled with tears to his dismay.

He did not know what to say to her as he gazed down into wide blue eyes swimming in water. He only knew and felt that he did not want to see them. And so he brushed them tenderly away as they fell.

Firm hands encircled her waist and drew her to the hard planes of his body, flush against silk she relaxed. Next he eased his hold on her and led her to the blanket. He whispered her name, and then he sat and pulled her gently down unto his lap. He tilted her head back unto him, long fingers rippled through ebony hair and a hungry mouth suckled her neck with heat and passion. She was lost, caught up in the moment and stunned by the change in him.

He had been so ruthless and uncaring before, but now he was soft and tender that she trembled with desire, and even if she had wanted to object she hadn't the will to do so now. His soothing hands ran up and down her sides, his lips touched her cheeks and she surrendered. She couldn't deny him and what she felt anymore than she could stop the air from entering her lungs. She was on fire, she felt alive.

She pushed away from him to lie on her back, her dress forgotten and she was bare before his eyes. He hovered over her and then slightly eased down on one elbow. Then his lips touched hers and she bloomed.

She couldn't contain the sweet blistering heat of her arousal as his mouth moved against hers. She did not really know what fate had in store for them at the moment, but when he kissed her lips everything and everyone was forgotten except the two of them.

Her arms curled around his neck and she trembled with desire, there was no brutality in him only gentle persuasion. His tender kisses fell to her eyes and throat, she moaned in delight. Erotic licks to her jaw and ears turned the heat into red hot flames.

He ran his tongue over an ear lingering a little longer than before, then murmured sensually. _"Do you want me Kagome?"_

She trembled, loss for words she could only nod her head.

Soft licks moistened her lips before he sank down, she gasped and he took control. She felt haunted as he drank, feeding his hunger for her powers. His gentle torturous seductions were agonizing and she cried out in desperation. _"Make the pain go away."_

He smiled and touched her with even greater abandon. She felt the hot caress of his sword roughened palms slide up her thighs, hot breath blew on a breast before it disappeared into a vortex, swirling, grazing and suckling it to stone.

He touched her freely now and she encouraged him with moans and nonsensical mutterings. His mouth captured hers again and her exotic flavor burst onto his tongue, he hissed, she was lost to the hungry kiss.

He pressed his body against hers, shifting left to right to feel the slow burn of her skin rubbing against his hard shaft. Her erotic perfume stained the air with spice; he needed to savour it, needed to imprint it into his senses for all times. His body moved and a hot trail of moisture progressed to her centre.

She squirmed and tried to turn away but he was having none of it. He forced her body down holding it steady with his hand pressed heavily onto her abdomen. She closed her eyes, never having the pleasure of a male eating from her core she felt inadequate and shy. Inuyasha had never done the deed, and she had been too inhibited to ask.

He spread her wide open and settled himself between her legs looking at the fleshy mound of her womanhood. His head lowered and he sniffed long, absorbing her zest into his nostrils and consciousness. Kagome eased up and watched. It was the most erotic sight that she had ever witnessed.

A long firm tongue moistened her nether regions licking up and down until she opened up like a flower, sprinkled with water and sunshine. Innate passion took over and she cried out and held onto his head, bringing him closer to the delectable feast. He smirked and dove in again.

He sent the flames spiralling into the very centre of her being using his tongue like a spear, plunging it deep, twirling and piercing, driving it inside. Then it was like a feather, gently persuading the raw nerves to tingle with delight, it was an intense tickle that blazed and cooled, then burned bright till it exploded. Heat travelled up and down her body rippling like the waves of the ocean. She trembled and shook, shattering like foam onto his face and hands.

He closed his eyes and breathed, inhaling the fires of her sex. It moved through him like lightning, wetting his appetite for more as he drank intoxicated. After her body calmed, when there was no more quivering, he crawled up her body and took possession of her mouth again. He was drenched with her essences, and as he fed her, she became drunk with desire. He rose above her and looked down into her face, seeing the satisfied smile and he was pleased.

The desire cooled and she traced sensual patterns along his jaw line and cheeks. His eyes were dark with hunger, and in that moment as she gazed upon him with his hair cascading forward tickling her face, he reminded her so much of Inuyasha. She stroked his face slowly, passionately, still not really believing that this tender, giving demon was the same arrogant and cruel being that she'd thought she knew.

She rose up and kissed his throat tasting his sensuous flesh, she kissed his lips tenderly and he closed his eyes as she ran her tongue along them. He kissed her eyes, one then the other and they closed. His need was still strong and waiting for attention. Still he wouldn't push her, he would wait.

She turned and began to undress him, their eyes met and silent confirmation given. Now he would know what it felt like to fuck her. He wouldn't have to wonder anymore what she would feel like twisted around his large manhood. He was soaked with the heat that had consumed them, and only the softness of her touch and the tightness of her sheath could cool him down.

When she stopped undressing him he was half naked, perhaps she was still afraid of him and their new found intimacy.

 _"Lie down Sesshomaru,"_ she instructed, _"let me enjoy you."_

He smiled a little, a real smile that was beautiful Kagome noted. She straddled him and her wet womanhood pressed onto his stomach, it felt good. She flattened her palms on his chest and dragged it down. He had a stunning physique, so well built, powerful and toned. The maroon stripes along his hips were unique, blending superbly against his pale skin. Feeling comfortable she couldn't help but to compare him to Inuyasha.

She nibbled on her lips. " _You know you are not so different from Inuyasha, when I am with you it's like being with him."_

The words she repeated cut like a knife through his heart. He went so rigid that fear seemed to flood her in an instant. His eyes like daggers, cleaved into her soul. He had never appeared more menacing or hard. She felt the anger raging through him with every fibre of her being. The hands that grabbed onto her shoulders holding them captive, pushed.

He stood over her as she fell flat on her back looking down on her stonily. Wearing only his hakamas, his muscles flexed, his chest and shoulders gleamed in the fading sunlight, making her much aware of the strength and power in his body.

She inhaled sharply and shook her head in fright. How could she be so stupid? She didn't mean to insult him. OH Kami! He gazed down on her keenly, and his fury seemed all the greater.

Her lips swollen from his kisses trembled as she tried to apologize. _"I didn't mean it…I am sorry."_

He had never thought that the mere touch of a human female could bewitch him so easily. He smiled at himself briefly, ruefully. He knew his pride and it was strong. All he had to do was to forsake her and the troublesome feelings that he carried, because he would never be a stand in for his brother. He wanted no ghosts in his bed.

He didn't fear for his heart, he had never found any good use for it. Every being that was led by it had always come to a dismal end; his father was the perfect example. All he needed to live was his sense of right and wrong.

She stared at him for long, nervously wondering what he was thinking or what he was feeling, he did not move nor did he say anything. Then suddenly he turned away from her, picked up his clothes and strode away.

No! It can't end this way. She had to do something. She must make him understand!

 _"Sesshomaru,"_ she called, but this time she would not get an answer.

Hastily she redressed and rushed after him. He was almost on the path leading back to the house when she caught up with him. She was breathless as she reached out and grabbed his hand.

 _"Please hear me out."_

He looked at her and then stared at the hand holding his condescendingly; he did not make any move to release himself.

 _"Make it quick,"_ he said curtly.

She studied his face with a keen eye before remarking. " _Why do fear what you feel, Inuyasha was your brother so why?"_

He jerked his hand away from hers, grasped her chin and turned it up; looking steadily into her eyes he responded. _"I fear nothing, and I don't want or need my brother's leftovers."_

 _"What?"_ She cried out, stepping back from him.

She raised a hand to strike him in anger; her eyes widened when she heard the crack against his flesh and knew that she had hit her mark. He could have stopped her easily she thought. So why didn't he? She looked up into his face and her pulse quickened.

Fear took root into her heart rendering her immobile as she stared into the dark pools that were his eyes. But still, she would not be a coward in front of him. All she wanted was for them to talk and not run away whenever there was a problem.

 _"Is that all there is Sesshomaru,"_ she said, glaring at him, _"one mistake and you are willing to just walk away from possibilities without even trying, then I say you are nothing but a fool and a coward."_

She stared at him with certain malice, pleased that for once she had shorn away a piece of his armour, but she did not get the response that she'd hoped for.

He smiled leaning forward, coming nearer to her face. _"I can have you whenever I want anyway I like, but now I don't desire you any longer."_

Kagome laughed in his face. She did not believe him for a second, yet his statement stung like the venom from a poisonous snake.

She lowered her head, her thoughts riddled with spite and poison, she didn't care anymore, because theirs was a lost cause. _"I don't want you either; Inuyasha was twice the male that you are and he was only a half demon."_

He held perfectly still in front of her, and in the stillness she could hear the thundering of her own heart. She looked up, his eyes held no mercy, they were as cold as ice as he stepped to her; panic flooded her senses and she ran.

He rushed after her and she screamed. _"No!"_

He yanked her viciously towards him by the back of her dress, the flimsy material shredding apart in his hand. She attempted to run again, he caught her arm and tossed her into the bushes with a force that left her breathless.

But before she could move, he was hovering over her. She tried to punch and kick him. She was strong she knew, but against him her strength was nothing. He straddled her hips and tore the rest of the tattered dress from her body. She screamed louder, longer this time.

She rained blows on him, used her powers against him, bit him and it was all useless. He deflected ever blow and secured her wrist with a long strip from her discarded dress, then parted her thighs with his knees and slammed his weight hard against her. She had no power to escape him.

He lay firmly against her, his member swollen and if she moved just a little she would touch him intimately.

 _"Beg me Kagome and maybe I will stop,"_ he whispered hoarsely by her ear.

 _"Never, I would prefer to die first."_ She retorted loudly.

He raised her bound arms over her head, pressed his weight onto her, his jaws clenched in a tight merciless lock.

 _"Monster,"_ she hissed.

He ignored her and she began to fight again, desperately now, writhing and sobbing. He felt no pity for her; she caused all of this on herself by provoking him almost to the breaking point. His eyes were dark and cold like the recesses of hell and he hated her. His mouth latched onto a nipple suckling hard, she cried out in humiliation, he didn't stop; he attacked the other.

 _"Beg me and maybe I will stop, if you don't then you want this."_ He spoke softly, but his voice was soaked with violence.

She shook her head no, fiercely. He stared into her eyes. _"Very well then, I will give you what you want."_

He ran a palm down her belly and then stopped between her thighs, she tried to lock her legs but his lower half was wrenched between them. His fingers splayed her nether lips apart and plunged deep, she groaned, he twisted his finger and she moaned.

He touched her intimately but with contempt and cruelty. His free hand lifted her back off the ground bringing her closer to him. His mouth dropped onto hers in a cruel crush, he bit into her lips. She screamed in terror while he fed off her intoxicating blood.

He had made an oath on the night that she had burnt him that if she continued with her insolence he would break her. And if she didn't beg him to stop soon he would take what he wanted leaving her bitter and broken. He was not a half demon like his brother; his desires were more complex, filled with primal urges, submission, blood and sex.

He could control them, but the priestess fed his carnal and violent nature with too much fire and it overwhelms him. Crimson seeped into his irises with savagery. Kagome gasped at the devilish image.

Another harsh plunge of his finger and she screamed. Fear and misery won out over pride. Her voice quivered as she whispered. " _Please stop Sesshomaru!"_

He stilled, searched her face and saw desolation. However, he did not release her immediately, he watched while tears fell from her eyes, remembering how much he did not like to see them there. His heart softened a little, but not too much.

He got up and took off his yukata, rest it down beside her and spoke. _"Your life here can be as easy or as hard as you make it. I am not Inuyasha."_

He turned away leaving her alone in the bushes. A deep sadness welling up inside him, and as he listened to her cries the sadness grew deeper.

 _ **Reviews are welcomed!**_


	10. Chapter 10

**_Please read and review!_**

 _ **An:**_ _I know this chapter is pure angst, but Sesshomaru and Kagome are such an unlikely pair that I feel something incredible would have to happen to push them to be together._ _So I won't rush the development of their relationship._

It's been a month since the incident between she and Sesshomaru had occurred. She felt isolated and empty like an outsider in a strange barren land. The day that he had left her crying and humiliated in the bushes was a day that wouldn't leave her thoughts easily. Although it would be best if she forgets about it and move on. But move on to what, to where? She did not want go back to Edo, for all that awaited her there was more misery and death, and she has had her fill of it, having to endure while everyone that she holds dear in her heart dies.

She stared for long through the window from the bed and then squinted against the sunlight pouring inside when the glare became too much. It was mid-day after all, and the sun's glow was at its peak; however, she had not left her bed all day. What would be the point anyway? Nothing made sense anymore. Simple things like going outside and being appreciative of nature and her life held little appeal now that the spark was gone.

She felt no joy, and the undeniable urge that she had felt wanting to be close to Sesshomaru had all but vanished. All she experienced now when she thought of him was pain and confusion. She had seen it in his eyes on that day, so much hatred and spite, and all of it was directed at her, she cringed with just the memory of it. Sometimes in spite of her best efforts to look on the bright side of life it felt as if everything was falling down, and the earth had opened up its gaping jaws, anxiously waiting for her to plummet into its endless abyss. Kagome wanted to cry out for help, but sadly no one would care if she did.

If only she and Inuyasha had been successful in having children she would be contented now. She wouldn't feel this bitter loneliness or the sense of loss and failure. Where was her happy ending? Did it begin to fade the instant Inuyasha had started to age and had ended when he'd died? She sighed deeply; she just did not know what to do or how to feel about her life anymore.

Her throat was dry from all the crying she did, she swallowed harshly to irrigate the tightness in it and then shook her head against the dark creeping thoughts threatening to drown her in despair. No! No! This was not like her; she was a fighter, a survivor who had beaten the odds time and again. She had to find a way to break the spell of doom hanging over her head, or the last two hundred years of her life would be for naught. If she could just get a handle on her feelings for Sesshomaru she would be alright, but this damn burning inside her chest for him had already seared her soul, stamping its indelible mark on it forever. She groaned recognizing the truth, he was a danger to her if she could not apply the brakes on her feelings for him in time, however, that was easier said than done...

He made her feel things that she never knew existed outside of a fantasy. He made her want to shout with joy, run naked in the rain, scream with frustration. He set her blood on fire with just one touch, one tender kiss to her lips. He was genteel, he was rough, he was brutish and he was caring; but most of all he made her confused, all of which were frighteningly pleasing to her senses. The demon was one intriguing and complicated being. Perhaps that's why the attraction was so strong? It was the sense of danger and recklessness, mystery, and the curiosity of wanting to discern. But at some point prudence and common sense had to prevail.

Her heart had already been broken by Inuysaha's death, and if she allowed it Sesshomaru would finish the job. This time however it would not only break but shatter into a million fragments, and the splinters would be impossible to piece together again. Her brows knitted in exasperation as the pangs of resentment struck her in the head, furrowing deep. She gasped feeling tormented.

Dread, swift as a flash of lightning illuminated her mind and exposed all of her weaknesses and concerns, and it wasn't pretty. She quickly removed herself from the bed and went to the open window to escape the overwhelming sensation of an anxiety attack. Her throat tightened again, she was breathless, and in shock she took a big gulp of air which breached her throat painfully. She squeezed her eyes closed and waited on the welcoming reprieve from her anxieties, and when it came she breathed deeply.

She felt woozy now and it could be because of stress, or maybe it was because she wasn't eating often enough, or the faintness was a combination of the two. Either way she couldn't continue like this, she had to fight it.

 _ **sksksk**_

Sesshomaru shifted on his bed, he felt uncomfortable; whatever ailed the woman constantly affected him. He knew as much to know that by ingesting her blood he would be setting himself up for this type of problem. But in spite of that knowledge he had found it hard to control the urge to imbibe himself. Her blood energies were too damn intoxicating to refuse.

The day that he'd subdued her, he had gorged himself on it against his better judgment. The virulent liquid had in it traces amounts of her spiritual energies and a hidden kinetic connection to her emotions, which was irrelevant. What was relevant was how it had been affecting him and why for so long. In his consciousness he could feel her with him at all times. He had felt the misery and confusion that had eaten at her since then. And though he had wanted to go to her when he could not bear the copious feelings of despair that she had passed to him, he did not go and would not go to her.

Things were better off this way he kept telling himself, because the strain on his heart and soul were lessening. So why then did he feel so empty and alone if rejecting her was what he sought to accomplish? Something stirred inside his hardened soul when he had heard her panicky breaths a few moments ago. Not pity, but something just as compelling for a being that fought against his very emotions and unrepentant resolve.

Strangely a lump formed in his throat. He felt love for the woman, an undeniable ache that he must withstand at all costs. He swallowed back the bitter lump and clenched his jaw. He would resist her poison, fight it every step of the way for he would not tolerate being led around by the collar like a love-sick pup because of his wretched emotions.

His decision he would not compromise, although for his brother's sake he would try to make amends. Not so his mind reprimanded him, wanting to see the priestess had nothing to do with Inuyasha, and everything to do with his growing attachment to her. Sesshomaru lay silent as his conscience murmured the truth then rose to a chant. A strange feeling crept up his spine as he remembered her sad eyes and tears when he had to punish her.

He inhaled sharply and pushed from the bed as he'd decided in haste just now to go to her, even though he could not untangle himself from the web of contradiction that ensnared him. If nothing else he was hopeful that his visit would settle her so that her bothersome emotions would cease to affect him.

He shook his head in dismay as he made his way to her room. He knew that he had to be careful in her presence, the dispute between them seemed ancient and in some ways it was. She had challenged him in their early beginnings, stood as a shield between him and his brother and had fought him with neither fear nor understanding, and begrudgingly he had respected her for it.

However, he did not trust himself with her. Whether it was passion or pure hatred their emotions were always flickering, and one misunderstanding could weave the spark into a raging inferno. He hissed sharply. He wanted to wash his hands of her. He wanted to see her suffer for the reckless disobedience that she'd repeatedly displayed towards him. He did not want to see her, he did not want to feel the ravaging desire that she elicited from him. His footsteps faltered inches away from the door.

He found himself weakened by the muddled mess that was his mind and heart. He was conflicted by his desires; he wanted to save her from her own temper and pride. She had lost the battle but wasn't conquered by him. He knew her enough to recognize the strong will of her spirit. He did not want to fall in love and lose.

 _ **sksksk**_

Nervous now that she felt his aura close by, she bit into her lip and abruptly turned away from the window, looking fastidiously at the door instead. He was coming to see her. But why?

Wasn't it his intent to drive a wedge between them after humiliating her like a common whore? And the fact that he had stayed away for so long because certainly he did not expect her to be the one to come to him, not after the way he'd treated her. She valued her pride and dignity just as much as he did.

She drew her untidy robe nearer to her body, fluffed up her uncombed hair in a vain attempt to look more presentable. Why she made the effort she wasn't sure at the moment? Maybe it was because she did not want him to see how much his actions had affected her. She sighed moving closer to the door when his shadow remained still under it. And as much as she wasn't confident that she was ready to see him yet, a trembling hand reached for the door handle and turned. She backed away from it as it opened, and he stepped inside and closed it.

His eyes swept over her form swiftly as he entered and then widened in alarm by what he saw. She was remarkably thinner, and he wondered if the servants were supplying her with enough to eat. Her full pink lips were dried and cracked; her hair a shadowy mess, her blue eyes sunken into deathly pools and beneath them housed faint shadows.

She glared at him in sudden realization of his obvious disapproval of her state. She didn't care; he was the cause for all of it. She had made a simple mistake by comparing him to Inuyasha; after all they had been brothers and had many attributes in common. How was she to know that he would have taken such great offence by her innocent comment? To make matters worse he'd refused to accept her apology and had walked away from her vexed. She had been beside herself with worry and had pursued him to make him see that she had not meant to insult him.

She had only wanted to clear the air. If only she had known what the repercussions might be, then perhaps she would have let things cooled before approaching him. But then again, knowing her maybe she would have done it any way.

The memories of that day made her angry again; she looked up, heated eyes flashing with resentment seared over him. He smirked, he was right; the woman was hard to keep down. He straightened up, preparing himself mentally for the garrulous reproof.

There was a hesitant tap at the door and they both turned to it. _"Lady Kagome would you like something to eat now? I am concerned, you haven't eaten all day."_ The gentle voice of one of Sesshomaru's servants asked.

Her lips twisted in hesitation because she could do with the food, however, she would refrain from eating while in his presence.

 _"Thank you for the offer,"_ she replied, _"but not now, I will eat a little later if you don't mind."_

 _"That's fine mistress, later then,"_ came the soft response.

He watched the priestess deny herself sustenance because of him and was annoyed by it. It wasn't his intention to make her suffer because of their disagreements. He had promised Inuyasha to watch over her and in spite of the tumultuous situation between them he wasn't a callous being, he would prefer it if she was contented.

He only asked that she treated him respectfully, but he could see that wasn't going to happen easily. He took a breath and said hoarsely. _"You should eat, your appearance is unbecoming."_

Her eyes flashed again and this time her temper broke. _"If my appearance bother you so much then maybe you shouldn't stand before it."_

He smiled grimly. When would she ever learn? He was toeing the line of his very pride for her; he had taken her in when he didn't have to, and now when he showed some concern she brazenly threw it back into his face.

She saw his blazing eyes afterwards, burning bright like the iridescent sun. She shook her head vehemently refusing to yield to the warning. Even now when she felt his latent powers rising and he had moved that much closer to her, so that she could feel his breath on her shoulder; still, she refused to comply.

Oh! He made her so angry that she wanted to scream with frustration. Why did he come to her room and the first thing that he said to her sounded so much like an insult? She walked to the table and leaned against it, relieved to be free of his overpowering closeness.

She huffed and pulled her robe more closely to her form. He made her cagey and his eyes shining like polish crystals seems to peer deep down into her soul, making her feel more vulnerable.

She regarded him warily " _Why are you really here, aren't you satisfied with your little demonstration in humiliating me, because if you are here for more I will not hold back this time?"_

He hesitated in responding, something akin to fear hammered at his heart. He who was known for his careful judgment and calm wisdom was afraid to go near her. He had no control whatsoever now, and if he went closer to her he would surely grasp her beautiful neck and break it.

Instead, he stiffened and said coldly. _"Priestess are you challenging me, because if you are, make sure that your strength not only lies in your tongue but also with your convictions?"_

Kagome's heartbeat rumbled through her chest. _"What is that suppose to mean?"_ She yelled.

She stared into his eyes now, looking for clues other than the menace in his soft voice. The only thing present there was the contempt he harbored towards her. Regardless, she would not let things stand as if there wasn't a problem.

 _"What do you want me to do,"_ she asked bitterly, _"be your whore and do whatever you tell me without question? Well it isn't going to happen Sesshomaru; I am not one of your worthless bed partners."_

Sesshomaru clenched and unclenched his fists by his sides in a vain attempt to keep his cool as a sensation swift and violent like a tempest passed over him as he'd listened to her angry outburst. He took a deep silent breath to calm himself, Kagome dug into and unearthed his wilder and more unreasonable emotions.

When he was calmer he responded. _"You refuse to comprehend the situation, you are here because I deem it so, you have lost and now you are alone. You are weak yet you constantly fight me which is foolish because you can never hope to best me,"_ he warned, his words a tight whisper. _"Fight me again and I will break you for good."_

She stood glued to the spot, but fire soared into her eyes; they were liquid with tears and aflame with detestation.

Sesshomaru finally approached her, she didn't move. He leaned over her and offered her a tight mocking grin. _"So you know, you could have been one of my whores as you rightly put it, that day at the river was the perfect place to make it so. Don't you agree?"_

She moved swiftly to strike out at him, but he was ready. He caught her hand and held it so tightly until she cried out. Her hair fell forward as she lowered her head. Tears spilled down her cheeks and she cried in terrible silence, her lithe frame shaking with the force of a turbulent storm.

At a loss against the depths of her misery that was as tangible as a blade through his gut, he did what came naturally; he held her and tilted her chin upright. He saw the tears and removed them with the pad of his thumb. A ragged sob escaped her, her lips parted and without thought he kissed her. He stroked back her tangled raven hair and closed his eyes, running soothing circles along her back.

But she did not want his sympathy, he was the cause for all the wretchedness that had befallen her, and kami help her she would fight him and her feelings. With one huge unexpected movement she pushed him away, eyes flashing with disdain she cursed _. "Get away from me, stay away and leave me the hell alone."_

The violence that she educed in him was a burning tension; he felt it in his complete body, and his hands shook as he fought to relinquish the rage and hold onto his sanity. He did not feel remorse, for in truth she deserved the punishment that he'd meted out against her. But he felt ashamed for his loss of control; because he could not stop the conflicting sensations. One moment he hated her with all of his being, and the next he wanted to take her into his arms and love her.

When next their eyes met, hers crackled like the summer's sky. She spoke again and there was a husky timbre to her voice. _"Get out, don't bother me anymore or I will leave here for good."_

He gazed at the shaking woman, his emotions raw and conflicted, he should not have gone to her and now he risked being exposed. He'd made a mistake, one that he needed to fix immediately. He needed to be cold, neither displaying sympathy nor tenderness. He hadn't meant for any of this to happen, but he could not find the strength to resist her.

Regardless of his weakness she could not know how easily she had stirred him into gentleness with her bitter tears, and how utterly easy it was to make him respond in anger to her rebuff. He forced a brutal smile to his lips.

 _"I am not the half breed, your charm doesn't work on me, you're simply a tool for my amusement and a vessel for my heat."_

She stared at him incredulously and he saw as tears formed in her eyes again, though she blinked them back. Then hatred filled their blue depths and she threw herself desperately against his weight, her nails raking his face.

He clenched his jaw and caught her fingers and stared down into her eyes with all the detachment that he could muster. _"Only a fool would love you, and clearly I am not a fool."_

 _"Bastard,"_ she hissed, and the tears rolled down her cheeks.

He let her go and then silently left.

She sobbed softly; he leaned against the door inside his bedroom feeling worn and vacant. The very air around them seemed stolen, making it hard to breathe. It was as if a swirling vortex had vacuumed all the oxygen from within their midst and they would never be the same again.

The months ticked off and they avoided each other like the plague, never a word spoken between them after that. Soon the time came for him to leave his home; it was time to mind his lands again. He left without letting her know; she would be informed of his absence by one of the maids.

One more week to go and she would visit Edo for Inuyasha's memorial service. It would be a very significant occasion. It would be the one year anniversary of his death and a head stone erected over his grave. She couldn't wait.


	11. Chapter 11

**_Please read and review!_**

 **An:** Sorry for the long delay in posting another chapter.

At the mouth of the Ibi River, Sesshomaru stood on a hill above the tributary staring at the clear peaceful horizon. He looked around the wide expanse of land which was almost bare, stripped of the magnificent trees and vegetation by humans as their numbers grew and with it more need for shelter.

The air was completely still, yet a troubling thought murmured inside his head. The time would come when the human world and the demon one would separate into two realms. It was nature's way to ensure symmetry in the world.

Humans far outnumbered his kind. Their lifespan was short but they made up for the shortcoming by breeding very rapidly, which was significant to their survival, but deadly to his species survival. Demon-kind was nature's offspring, and without the intrinsic magic of its essences living as spirits within the trees of the forest they would wither and die. Lesser youkai needed the shelter of the woodlands to hide and to live in seclusion.

Regardless of that, humans continuously rape and pillaged the land, desecrating the enchantment of the wilds with no real thought of the consequences. And for those of his kind, who could endure until the very end would have the kami's to thank for their compassion. The signposts would be there for them to see and follow to their definitive salvation.

He sighed softly before walking away from the cliff's edge. His thoughts if he allowed them to continue on that same unsavory path could become quite bothersome. He frowned. Why worry about the inevitable when that emotion wouldn't change anything? He made a tight fist; he was strong and would remain unbending till the end of time.

His steps took him to a network of twisted vines running along the ground that crept around the base and trunk of a massive black pine. He stopped and glanced up; noticing that the tree was dying but still had enough vibrant branches on its right for shelter. He stood still for a moment longer letting the light and darkness filtering through wash over him.

He inhaled sharply and then sat down after the fading sunlight warmed not only his body but his mind. The atmosphere though peaceful was brought to life with the delightful songs of nesting birds. All else was quiet from the mountains at his back to the western horizon. It was the first time in days that he would be able to relax, letting go of his troubles and take a much-needed break from his duties. He watched attentively as snatches of light played across the terrain in ever deepening shades of gray and orange as the sun began to set.

In time shadow took the place of light and soon it was dark, the moon rose full and round high in the sky. Now in the darkness and solitude, thoughts of his dead brother's wife occupied his mind. She was the most intriguing mixture of confidence and fire, and undoubtedly a threat to his sanity.

He recalled her sensual aroma that heightened his arousal each time that she was close and he did the unthinkable, he lusted. She was the untamed wind fanning his flames, soaring, burning brightly then dimming so low that the contradictions made him anxious. He yearned for her in the privacy of his mind alone at nights. Even now he wished to hold her close to breathe her fire if only to burn.

He shook his head slowly and then lowered it to the forest floor, his mind a convoluted mess of emotions. He told himself that he didn't care for her; this was simply a case of unbridled lust. So why then was his heart and mind consumed with her beautiful image and smile?

With a little humph, he turned his head to the sky. The full moon a good omen that complimented his nature, staring at it brought him tranquillity. Tomorrow would be a year since Inuyasha's death and he would pay his brother a visit, but for now he needed to rest; if only he could get that wretched woman off his mind he would be able to accomplish it.

Seconds passed into minutes, minutes built into hours, nevertheless sleep eluded him. He closed his eyes willing the sleep to come so as to silence the thoughts of the priestess, but to no avail. He watched and waited, ever patient growing angry, but still slumber would not come to give him the respite that he needed so badly.

At the crack of dawn, the wait ended. He slowly got up and proceeded to the river, he needed to bathe to be rid of the desire that had consumed his being like wild-fire and to clear his thoughts. The icy waters were before him now, his eyes fixed on it as he remembered the passion that they'd shared that day on the banks of the river. He shook his head, clearing his mind and swiftly undressed.

Lowering himself into the cold waters sent a chill throughout his body; he settled the shock to his system with a deep snort and closing of his eyes. While he rested in the river Sesshomaru felt as if he was trying to find his way through a dense fog that got thicker and heavier with each faltering step that he made. Making it hard to see and to breathe, he felt blinded by emotions that he never thought he had.

He couldn't think straight in the quagmire, but he knew one thing for certain, the priestess had left an impressive mark in his head and on his heart and now he was having one hell of a time sorting everything out. If he gave in and took the woman for himself. Would it mean that he would have broken his promise to his brother?

At this point in time, he wasn't certain what he wanted, but the complicated ethics of the problems were a preferable focus rather than the constant lust that he felt in his loins for the woman. Throughout his long life he had consorted with many women but never one this conflicting. He shook his head. He just did not know. Should he he to be the one to save them both from their pride and stubbornness?

His dreams and thoughts of Kagome were a reservoir of substance echoing in his mind; he heard every judgment, every question, every careful answer and every prideful rejection, confusing him and making a mess of his mind. There were not many assurances in life, but there were warnings and terrible consequences for an unsure footfall.

As explanations went, he was sorely lacking in relevant points when it came to love, having no point of reference, never loving except with his body alone he was ignorant of his failings. He only knew that what he felt needed careful thought, but on the other hand, he had never denied himself anything that he truly desired.

He exited the water and gazed at the sky; the heavens had become brighter with the daylight. The worst of his thoughts he didn't want to think about but neither would they be put to rest. They appeared large and impenetrable in his mind like the green, stony expanse of the western mountains, and still, he would carry on.

 _ **sksksk**_

The long wait had finally ended; it was dawn and the day of Inuyasha's memorial service. Her satchel was already packed with a few things that she would need while she was in Edo. She tried to leave the house as silently as she could, taking small unhurried steps along the wooden flooring, but a shy voice calling her name made her aware that her efforts were not at all convincing.

She turned around in the dim light of the hall and saw the dark-haired demoness watching her nervously. She smiled sheepishly having been caught trying to leave unseen, however, it was much more than that. She knew instinctively that although Jun and Momo acted relaxed around her, they still feared her a bit.

It didn't come as a shock to her that all in the house except for Sesshomaru was cagey around her because she was a priestess. She smiled genuinely at the female this time and it put her at ease. Now she could inform her of her plans.

 _"Jun I am leaving for Edo shortly and it wasn't my intent to wake you, I would have been gone for no more than a day,"_ Kagome said softly, while the demoness eyed her with scepticism.

 _"Mistress,"_ the demoness said sternly, _"the lord will be back this afternoon and I am sure that he would not be pleased on his return to find you gone and to hear that neither Momo nor me know of your whereabouts."_

She could hear it clearly, the obvious reprimand and disapproval in the servant's tone and wasn't bothered by it. The female was employed by Sesshomaru to care for her and if she had succeeded in leaving without being seen, then the maid would have been in a bind when the Daiyoukai returned.

" _I am sorry, I wasn't thinking,"_ she said apologizing.

Jun nodded but scowled deeply while Kagome looked on wondering what could be the matter with her. They stayed silent staring at each other for some time before the priestess spoke up.

 _"I will see you tomorrow,_ " she said and turned quickly towards the door again. She needed to get to her destination early to help with the festivities.

 _"Lady Kagome please wait!"_

The unexpected plea stopped her immediately. She turned around with a worried expression on her face.

Jun sighed loudly enough for her to hear. _"Mistress, I know that yours and the lord's affairs are a private matter,"_ she said nervously, watching and gauging Kagome's body language, she saw nothing out of the way to suggest that the priestess was upset and so cautiously she continued.

 _"I couldn't help overhearing the contents of your disagreement…twice,"_ Kagome's brows rose in response to the declaration.

 _"Is that so?"_ She asked with sarcasm. Their arguments had been loud enough for anyone with normal hearing to hear, it was noisy and violent, and with heightened senses that demons possessed, hers and Sesshomaru's quarrel must have been quite a racket. Kagome smiled.

The demoness stared at her puzzled but chose to continue regardless. _"If I may can I offer you some advice?"_

Kagome shot her a quick glance. _"Yes you may,"_ she said impatiently; though she was curious to hear what the demoness had to say she needed to leave as well.

 _"I have never seen the lord behave quite like this before now, and I believe you are the cause of his afflictions. He loves you but he fights with himself over it,"_ she paused and stared directly at Kagome who inched back from the uneasy stare.

Her lips quivered a little before she continued, and Kagome wondered what Jun was contemplating to make her so uncomfortable, however, she didn't need to ponder on it for much longer.

 _"You fight and challenge his authority as the head and a demon recklessly. I believe if you were someone else he would have killed you already,"_ the last part was said so low that Kagome almost missed it. She gasped when she looked into the demoness's eyes and saw no apology only the truth.

She was at a loss for words at the moment and what she wanted to say was slow in coming, but when it did it was laced with vehemence _. "I only fight with him because he is an arrogant bastard that only wants things to go his way and another thing, he doesn't love me, he only wants to possess me and I refuse on that premise."_

 _"Such strong words,"_ Jun rebutted immediately, _"but how do you know what the lord feels in his heart, have you ever taken the time to find out what he likes and what he is about?"_

Kagome froze at the harsh comment and stared at Jun for long, there was a bright sparkle in her eyes and Kagome was glad to see that Jun was serious but did not hold a grudge against her. They both held different beliefs on the situation but at least it was not enough to cause a problem.

Without responding she smiled once more and then left the demoness standing alone in the hallway. Could she be right? Kagome wondered as she made her way outside looking for Ah-Un. No, she answered herself; he doesn't know the meaning of the word love, and she would be foolish to believe such a thing. It would be best if she lived her own life and not think too much about him.

Kagome rode in silence for a long time reflecting on Jun's words to her about Sesshomaru, and yet she couldn't accept it. Too much bad things had happened between them and only a miracle would change her opinion of him.

She felt tears pooling in her eyes when the dragon went airborne. She had behaved foolishly and was suffering because of it. No more would she let Sesshomaru occupy her mind and heart. It's been months since he had spoken to her and slowly she was adapting to the changes.

But if that was so, then why did she feel so miserable and empty without him? She made a frustrated sound and shook her head fiercely willing the confusions away. Today was her husband's memorial service and she would not think about anything else.

She reached Edo around mid-morning and on a whim decided to stop by her old home. To her surprise, it seemed like half of the slayer's village was already in her yard occupying themselves with some activity that had to do with the celebrations. She was stunned but happily so.

There was no time to waste, she led Ah-Un quickly to the back of the property and turned to leave, then halted when she remembered something. She approached the beast slowly and whispered near its left ear. _"Stay here I will call when I am ready."_

There was so much left to do and she needed to get busy and help with whatever she could. She spotted Katsumi one of Songo's direct descendants building a fire pit in the yard and assisted her. When they were done, their combined effort constructed a pit that was large enough to contain five different cooking pots.

Her old home was abuzz with activity. Small children made images of animals from colorful paper, along with the more professional artwork and spread them along multiple lines erected all around the yard. Firecrackers were placed on poles at different intervals.

It was perhaps mid-day when all the cooking and decorations were done. Kagome went inside to bathe and dress. Katsumi had informed her earlier while they'd worked side by side that the head-stone was already at the Tree of Ages, and when she was finished they would all meet up there.

After cleansing herself she removed a beautiful lavender kimono that Sesshomaru had gifted her with from her bag. It was of the finest silk; she rubbed the fabric along her cheeks and closed her eyes at the soft downy feel of the texture.

Afterward, she rests the garment down gently on the bed and went to sit on a stool in front of her old vanity. She brushed her long wavy hair until it shone, then parted it across the middle and twisted the front portion in a loose bun, the rest she left loose down her back.

She wanted to look beautiful for Inuyasha, he would not like it even in death if he knew that she was unhappy and mourn for him still.

The white pearl powder that she dusted on her face gave it a dry cool look, she stained her lips blood red, and her eyelids lids she lined an obscure black. She stood back and looked at her reflection and did not recognize the beautiful woman that stared right back at her. How could that be her when she did not feel beautiful or loved?

Automatically she reached for the rich lavender kimono and adorned herself; it fitted snugly, hugging the swell of her bosom and every curve of her hips and bottom. She didn't care for the elaborate obi so she tied a simple bow to the back of her dress and slipped her feet into a pair of slippers. She took one last lingering look at her image and then left the house.

Kagome whistled softly, and the dragon carefully approached the doorway where she stood, his hooves sending small amounts of dust in the air. Whistling to call him was a trick that she had developed over the months as the beast had become one of her closest companions.

The animal lowered himself to the ground and Kagome climbed onto his back, and in no time at all, she was near the gravesite. She dismounted some distance away and walked the remainder of the way to the site to prevent the uneasy stares upon Ah-Un.

A hush fell over the group when she appeared standing alone in a sheer kimono of the deepest lavender and patterns of the lightest purple. Her movements were lithe and sinuous, that many men noticed her. But one, in particular, a very handsome dark brown haired man could not tear his gaze away from the stunning vision. He felt his blood rise hot and heavy.

The ceremony proceeded without any problems; all who remembered the half demon spoke favorably of him. The monk prayed for Inuyasha's soul and wished him peace. Kagome took her time when it was her turn to speak, she didn't cry this time, Inuyasha while alive never did like to see her cry.

The stone was erected at the head of the grave and cemented into the dirt so that it could not be unearthed, then two girls around age eight planted flowers around the site. When the ritual was over, all in attendance made their way back to Kagome's former home for the celebrations.

But somewhere between coming to the gravesite and leaving, a burgeoning load of depressing emotions began to assault her mind and body. She felt a prickling at her nape and began to sweat. The world spun out of control, catching her into its spiralling empty depths, it flung her recklessly around into a whirlwind of debris, smashing her mind into bits.

She held her head in her hands trying to remain steady, but still fell to her knees staining the exquisite kimono brown; she felt cold and lonely even though she had friends. What was happening? She couldn't tell, she felt faint and choked out a desperate sob. Taking long deep breaths helped to calm the frightening anxieties. She sighed and stumbled towards her ride, leaving the scene of her past.

The day progressed as she had hoped; except, everyone present was having fun except her. The more emptiness filled her heart the more she filled it with sake, she wasn't drunk yet, she was almost there. Faces blurred, one running into the next, her mind clouded, her stomach queasy and she couldn't differentiate who was who.

Musicians played beautiful music filling the night with magic; she tried to dance but stumbled over the long kimono each time. Soft cinnamon eyes watched the striking sad woman the entire time and decided just now to go talk to her.

A handsome man approached her when the sun had set and lighted lanterns along with the full moon were their source of light now. The light and shadows cast an ethereal glow on his face. Inebriated now, she pressed up against him with the sake bottle dangling from one hand.

 _"My wine is finished could you get me another?"_ She asked, her speech slurring with each word that she'd spoken.

He laughed showing even white teeth. " _I don't think that you need another drink,"_ he said politely.

 _"I will decide what I want for myself,"_ Kagome argued, and moved abruptly away from the gentleman only to fall onto her hands and knees into the dirt. He approached and helped her to her feet by lifting her up by the arm.

Her feet were unsteady and she leaned onto his side for support. He looked down and saw how tired she was and offered to assist her.

" _Lady Kagome would you like me to take you inside?"_

Without answering she moved away from him again staggering as she did, he grasped her arm holding her firmly and led her down the path to her front door. On the inside, she directed him to her bedroom where he laid her down.

 _"Goodnight lady Kagome, rest it will do you some good,"_ he advised.

She rose up on her elbows flushed and realized that the handsome stranger watched her. She felt nauseated and her throat dry. She looked at him carefully or tried to do so but her mind was muddled by the liquor, all she felt now was a need, an intense feeling of loss and loneliness and she did not want to be alone.

 _"Please don't go!"_ She said almost pleadingly, as he turned his back and was about to leave.

His eyes narrowed and he turned right back around and stared at her in bewilderment. _"Kagome Sama I am a man and you are a beautiful woman, to stay here with you tonight would be unwise."_

 _"Stay,"_ was the simple one-word command.

He was awestruck as he should be, the most beautiful woman that he had ever seen had just offered him something that he would cherish for ten lifetimes. He removed his outer garments, entered the bed and snuggled closely behind the desirable woman in front of him

 _ **sksksk**_

Sesshomaru had just left his brother's grave with the realization that the humans had made some changes. His sensitive ears heard music, shouting and merriment of many individuals coming from Kagome's old home. It was none of his business but as usual, when it came to the priestess he could not resist the urge to see her.

He knew that she was in the village; her scent was one that he could never forget or doubt. Just the thought of seeing her again made him feel lighter. Perhaps this time they could really sit down and talk. He had never been a coward, and what he felt within, he was willing to face again. The time that he'd spent alone with his thoughts he'd come to accept certain facts.

 _ **sksksk**_

Kagome turned into the arms of her nameless lover and felt the hammering of both their hearts. A vision of Sesshomaru's face crossed her mind in that moment and she closed her eyes tight, she would not think about him now, that selfish cruel being that had no capacity for emotions much less to love. Tonight she would let someone else hold her close, perishing the thoughts of him.

Hot lips touched hers when her breath met his face and they burned with a consuming fire. She was aware even in drunkenness that she was giving herself to a stranger, but somehow she didn't care.

She needed to be loved and wanted, to feel alive, and even if it was just for one night she would burn with passion. She wouldn't think too much on it now, tomorrow she would regret if there was something to regret, but for now she would live.

When at last they were both naked, his kisses seared her lips and body. He was slow and tender, and when he took her, joining them as one in a loving embrace of penetrating bliss, she melted with the desire. Their bodies moved together, not like strangers, but like old lovers dancing and crying out in the crispy night air.

 _ **sksksk**_

Sesshomaru halted upon hearing Kagome's cries of passion. Then silently, in disbelief he entered the house from the back and saw her naked form writhing beneath another man. He stared for awhile, gritting his teeth before quietly leaving.

As he walked into the darkness of the chilly night it felt as though the cold mist that touched his skin had turned to steam and he was burning up with misery and pain.

His hands had trembled as he'd watched and murderous thoughts had billowed inside his heart, but he'd willed the rage away. The woman wasn't his and he had not made his intentions known to her. He had no rights to dictate what she did with her life.

Then why did the memory of their time together fill his heart even now? Perhaps because he had weighed her sweet heavy breast against his hand, taste the ripeness of them and her luscious lips. He had gotten drunk from the sweet nectar of her blood and womanhood, and now he longed for her again.

He shook his head slowly, wishing fervently that he hadn't given any heed to her welfare and what she'd thought of him then. He should have just taken her when he had the chance.

Jun - Obedient

Momo - Peach


	12. Chapter 12

_**Please Read and Review!**_

Kagome sat up in bed, stirred awake by the noisy rooster only moments after her lover had left. Beams of light pouring through the windows hurt her eyes and she looked down. Tired blue orbs snagged across the crumpled mess where her missing companion had slept. She stared at the space for long, as if by doing so she would be more convinced that he had actually been there.

In her wooziness she thought that she had seen his face briefly, though she was certain that it had only been an illusion. Her memories were fuzzy, her head hurt real badly and her mind seemed to be playing stupid tricks on her. She shook her head to clear it of the haze and then looked again, but to her utter shock and disbelief the image morphed into Sesshomaru's steely visage and frozen eyes.

She gasped loudly and took a shuddering breath, struggled to take another. She felt cold as a shiver shook her. Panic almost seized her, but though nervous, she knew rationally that Sesshomaru had no reason to be in Edo. Still, her eyes darted around the room quickly checking to see if he was in fact there, he was not, but her body trembled all the same.

She bit into her lip and pressed the sheet to her trembling form; then her heart almost leapt into her throat on hearing another unexpected high pitched cry from the bird. She panted and closed her eyes. The ache in her head had suddenly worsened and now she felt nauseated.

Silent tears filled her eyes as she continued to glance around with the sheet close to her body. Why was her mind on Sesshomaru when she had not thought about him since yesterday? Was her effort to burn him from her heart forever a failure? Clearly, if she could not get a hold of herself soon, then everything she'd tried to do would become a colossal failure.

Her temples throbbed with the unyielding headache and she frowned. Rubbing the sides of her face tenderly lessened the pain and banished the upsetting sight of the Daiyokai from her mind. For several minutes she just sat there silently as the memories of last night's events flooded her mind and senses. She didn't know what to feel in the immediate moments following her epiphany. But she was determined, she was not going to let her imprudence consume her and ultimately destroy her. She sighed with the thought. She was a strong woman that was weakened by heartache and loss, but thankfully her spirit was not broken.

Without thought she ran a hand along the spot where her lover had lain and it was still warm. She was glad that he had the presence of mind to leave before she had awakened, not that she thought she couldn't handle the situation; it was just that she believed it would be best this way. They were strangers that had shared one night of uncomplicated passion and nothing more.

Was it wrong of her to be taking the matter so lightly she pondered, considering the possible ramifications? After all, it was the night of Inuyasha's memorial service to honor him and yet she had dishonored him and herself.

Had this happened several months ago she would have been devastated but now she was of a different mindset. So much had happened in her life in the short amount of time since Inuyasha's death that her head swum thinking about it. Even now as she thought about her actions she couldn't rightly say that she regretted the decision of taking a lover.

But even in her mind that sentiment didn't sound quite right, because if she had wanted a lover that badly, Sesshomaru should have been the obvious choice. Right? But then again he was a complicated being that she was struggling so hard to understand, and their relationship was extremely tiresome.

What she needed was freedom and simplicity for she hadn't amassed the strength yet to deal with a multifaceted demon lord. Kagome narrowed her eyes as she continued to contemplate. She found the situation less than burdensome although compromising, and knew that she could deal with it. Then something came to mind and she winced as if she'd received a severe blow to the gut. She gasped and closed her eyes, slowly moulding last night's events into a complete picture within her mind. There she searched for the answers.

It was possible she knew that one of the villagers could have seen while she was being escorted inside her home by the gentleman. She grimaced, and rightly so, because also, they would not have seen him leave.

Resting her chin on the back of her hands she scanned the room and her mind for transparency, but sadly she could not find any. She shrugged; the situation was what it was, she was a widow and taking a lover was not an uncommon occurrence, it was the timing that was a bother.

Strangely enough as she pondered on the issues she felt little remorse if any at all, in fact she felt weirdly contented with a terrible hangover. Although it occurred to her that she had casual sex with a total stranger, and logically she should be feeling horrified by her actions, she did not.

Truthfully, she came to regard her conduct as a temporary distraction from reality so as to ease her mind from the stresses of her life, and she would not dwell on it now. It needed no negative emotions to let it fester, turning it into something nasty that she would live to regret. Everyone was prone to indiscretion, her one night of drunken sex she would file away into the recesses of her mind. There it would remain forever as her secret.

She was tired and her mouth felt dry and bitter now that she was sober. She sighed softly before disengaging from the sheets. She stood up suddenly and almost toppled over from dizziness; she grabbed for the bed to steady herself but missed and fell to her knees.

Shakily she pulled herself back up and sat on the bed, she needed to keep calm for awhile before trying to get up again. What she really needed was some bitter tea and a bath.

 _ **sksksk**_

Dawn had finally broken and he found himself lying on a soft blanket under a tree near a river. He had returned home hours into the night feeling empty, and a dismal ache encased his heart so strongly that he was unable to break its hold on him.

He couldn't find the strength to enter the house where her scent would be strongest, so he rested at the last place where they had been intimately contented before everything went wrong.

Out in the open air her aroma had almost vanished from the thick cloth, but the places where her body had lain while she'd shattered in his face and hands, there her scent remained vibrant.

He opened his eyes and gazed into the blazing sun; feeling the irritating burn watered his eyes but he would not close them. He recalled the defeat that he'd felt as he'd watched Kagome lying with another male who was not him. The memories tore into his soul like a strike of lightning as the vivid images played over and over inside his head.

His body went rigid with overwhelming pain and he closed his eyes; not from the searing flames to his irises, but from the terrible agony inside his soul. He surged to his feet quickly as the relentless ache would not subside.

For several moments he just stood there staring blindly and enduring the throbbing ache. No one could take the pain away now, not even the priestess herself at this point. He realized it would be unbelievably hard to move past this. Harder than anything that he would ever do or could imagine.

He would have to live with the distress; live with the hurt that only time could heal now that he had opened up his heart. He was angry, and wanting to blame the woman for his heartache was tempting, but he would not. Both of them had been prideful and stubborn, leaving too much things to chance, and now they would both burn in the chaotic aftermath.

He didn't want to think or feel any longer. Another thought of her crossed his mind and the pain resurfaced, he dove into the depths of the river, hopefully it would strengthen the muscles of his heart and body as he swum to lift the frustration. When he was done, the anger had left him but a dull stabbing pain still poked at his heart. He sighed; this would be his torment to bear for his weaknesses.

He left the river solemnly, his footsteps taking him further away from a memory that he would always treasure in spite of how unfulfilling the ending had been. The desire for sleep grew more urgent as his bed came into view upon entering his bedroom.

Too long now his mind had been occupied with nothing more than a beautiful face and smile, a delicious scent and enticing blood that had prevented him from sleeping. He was tired emotionally as well as physically. He laid his body down and closed his eyes, knowing for certain that this time sleep would come.

 _ **sksksk**_

Gradually Kagome faced the day, she was still tired and her mind wandered to the night before and of Sesshomaru constantly, but she was determined to keep the anxiety over the matter at bay.

In the evening while having her sixth cup of ginger mint tea, she heard a knocking at the front door.

 _"Who is it?"_ She asked tonelessly, not really in the mood to see anyone.

 _"Lady Kagome it is I Katsumi,"_ came the quick reply.

 _"The door is unlocked let yourself in,"_ answered Kagome in a similar manner as before.

She heard Katsumi's getas scraping along the board flooring as she made her way inside towards the kitchen and felt uneasy. She couldn't help but to wonder if Katsumi had been a witness to her meltdown. It was so frustrating not remembering clearly all that had happened because she had been intoxicated.

They gazed at each other as they came face to face, however, Katsumi looked away first after giving her a weak look, and Kagome knew instinctively that her secret was not a secret at all.

Her eyes grew wide with fear by the inference, her hands trembled and she put the cup to rest on the table.

 _"Why are you here?"_ Kagome asked warily.

Katsumi turned her attentions back on Kagome. _"I am sorry lady Kagome,"_ she mumbled under her breath feeling a little nervous, _"I have to say something, I saw you with my cousin last night."_

Kagome gasped and flung her hand forward to cover her mouth, spilling the tea in the process. She stood up, but feeling faint she sat back down shakily as her feet felt as if they would give out at any moment, while Katsumi watched her worriedly.

 _"Calm down Kagome I am not here to pass judgment. I am here on behalf of my cousin, he would like to see you again when he comes back to Japan in a month,"_ she said in a rush and sat down, almost as if she'd decided just now to stay for a while.

Kagome shook her head in relief. _"I don't know what to say, I need time to think,"_ was the noncommittal response.

Katsumi observed the priestess a while longer and felt saddened for her. She knew that her friend suffered because of her husband's death, and grief had forced her to draw close to someone, in this case a stranger who happened to be a relative. But on the other hand her cousin was a good man that deserved a wife who wouldn't drag him down with her problems. Kagome was not right for him she decided.

 _"I think it would be best if you leave here and never return,"_ Katsumi advised. Kagome looked deep into her brown eyes and understood perfectly what she was saying. She nodded.

Katsumi got up and rested both hands on Kagome's shoulders and gave a little squeeze. _"I am really sorry for your loss and I pray that you may find peace, and I hope you will be alright."_

She let the priestess go and left quietly after that. Kagome sat still for a very long time reflecting on the pass and an uncertain future. She really was alone with no roots to keep her grounded. She closed her eyes tight. Katsumi's words could not have been any clearer. Leave now before my cousin gets back, your actions have proven you unworthy.

She shook her head feeling more dejected and perplexed than before. She wanted to retreat in her own little world and hide, but sadly such a place did not exist.

She packed her bag with the things that she had brought and left Edo behind for good. She walked into the woods until the sun had set and darkness fell, wandering aimlessly for hours trying to figure out where she went wrong, how to fix it and could she really face Sesshomaru if she should go back to him.

Undecided and desolate she whistled three times for Ah-Un. She waited patiently for a sign that he had heard but nothing was forthcoming. She was tired and drained of all her mental strength. She rests the bag down and laid her head upon it by a tree.

Tears of desperation spilled from her eyes and she cried out into the night without shame. She felt the numbness inside her heart overflowing into every fiber of her being, paralyzing her with fear.

She laid there broken, sobbing and shaking, yet her body refused to surrender to death that she so desperately wanted to ease the pain and suffering. The kami's must have taken pity on her as her lids became heavy and drowsiness swept throughout her body.

Minutes passed into hours as time moved on. How long had she been asleep? She couldn't tell. She only knew and felt something wet and thick licking her face, she opened her eyes in the darkness and saw the bulky outline of the dragon.

She didn't think, she mounted the beast, lay low on his back and continued resting. She knew not what her fate would be when next she saw the Daiyoukai, but she couldn't run from him forever.

As dawn broke Ah-Un set her down in front of Sesshomaru's house. She paused seeing him standing on the porch gazing at her steadily. She gulped and made a weak step towards him, then another until they were standing in front of each other.

Sesshomaru noticed multiple red marks on her neck. His heart seemed to stop, and he stared at her throat in scorn. His fists clenched at his sides as anger shot through him. The images of her and another man swept through him like a fiery tempest, setting his blood to boil.

He tried but could not contain the hurt and anger that he felt, seeing her now and knowing what she had done, and to compound his ire, the light scent of musk still clung to her body enraged him even further. He closed his eyes in resistance, to shut out the memory and the marks of another male upon her body, but jealousy and his territorial nature would not let it go.

An uncontrolled burst of fury shook him to the core, he clenched his jaws hard trying to hold onto his pride, but couldn't, and savagely he lunged for her throat.

Kagome screamed, and in fright she fled.


	13. Aftermath part 2

**_Please read and review!_**

 ** _AN:_** _There is non-consensual sex in this chapter at first, read if you want, will mark with xxxx at the beginning!_

Stumbling she kept on running and screaming, fearful of him, wondering why he had suddenly turned on her. She felt that her lungs would certainly burst under the immense pressure of over exertion; that her legs would give way beneath her at any moment and yet she ran. Despite the frantic hammering of her heart, the thick raspy gaps or air that she took, she ran.

Hard behind her she heard his breath and the heavy strikes of his feet against the ground and then he was upon her, sweeping an arm around her waist. She struggled wildly, desperately in his hold; he paid her efforts no mind except for the crushing pain of his hand around her waist as he restrained her.

He paused, looked down on her with eyes filled with detestation and growled out his frustrations. She whimpered and closed her eyes tightly so as not to witness his ire and the pain that she saw seeping into the pits of his eyes.

He didn't give her a moment to breathe before her eyes flashed open with pain as he viciously grabbed her arms and swung them behind her back, holding onto them firmly, she grunted with the lengthy shock of pain shooting up her arms. Effortlessly he lifted her off the ground with his free hand like she weighed nothing and stalked angrily inside the house.

Jun and Momo rushed to aid her on hearing her cries but stopped dead in their tracks as a red eyed demon lord glared at them menacingly. They retreated, backing away slowly from him as none of them was a formidable match for him.

 _"Help me please!"_ Kagome begged as her two caregivers steps took them further away, leaving her alone and fearful.

Momo hesitated and Jun grabbed her hand and pulled her away from the scene quickly. Kagome screamed louder and began to struggle anew. She bit deeply into his side, his body tensed a little, however he gave the sting as much attention as he would bestow upon a pesky bug. He was at the end of his patience and relentless, she would not escape him. She screamed even louder; he grimaced as her cries penetrated his ears.

She had to save herself; no one would rescue her now. She called upon her powers but they remained dormant, terrified she could not concentrate long enough for it to aid her. He kicked the door open and threw her down on the bed hard, its softness cushioned what would have been a horrible fall, and immediately she got up and bolted.

If she could only make it through the door and to Ah-Un she would be safe she kept on telling herself as she reached for escape. But not even her mantra or the force of her will would be enough to spare her. He was swift on his feet and blocked her path; there was little space for her to move as he trapped her between his body and the door frame.

Cornered she spun around and faced him, her hands balled into tight fists and her lips quivering, she pleaded with him _. "Please Sesshomaru don't hurt me…I don't understand. What did I do?"_

Fierce amber eyes bore into hers without sympathy and replied back. " _I will not heed to your words this time. Do you believe me to be a fool?"_ He queried, his words as harsh as his eyes, and with a slight shift of his arms the cage narrowed.

Kagome closed her eyes and breathe deeply, he was too close, his presence was suffocating and she was terribly afraid of his raw emotions. In all the times that he'd pursued her she was fearful but never this much. There was violence about him so cruel, moving through him deliberately.

Finally she could feel her powers now, simmering just below. She reopened her eyes and lifted her head to look at his face. The aggression there was like hell fire and she felt somehow that he knew of her affair. But how could he know? She had bathed herself very thoroughly.

She shook her head in confusion, he squinted while scorn turn up the corners of his mouth in a crude mocking smile.

She gasped. _"You know don't you, but how?"_ She inquired suspiciously.

He didn't answer; she need not know that he had been there and had seen her little moment of intimacy, and that his nose could still scent the deception even though she had washed herself.

He grasped her swiftly by the neck before she could even think to act and shoved her in front of the mirror. Her clothes dishevelled, riding low on her shoulders made it easy for her to see the dark red marks on her neck and shoulders. She swallowed harshly; she hadn't even known that they were there.

He spun her around to face him immediately after he had seen the defeat on her face. Her head lowered but she was not about to cry, that she would not do before him again, and she refused to show weakness now that she knew why he had attacked her.

Time and again she had assured herself that she would be strong, she would not break, yet she was still dangerously close to falling to her knees; plead with him for his forgiveness, beg him to love her and submit to him.

But she would not do it. In his intimidating rage, she barely knew him and she was trembling. She longed to escape. Why did she come back to him? She asked herself. Did she have a death wish? No. Neither was she a doormat. Wildly she exploded at him for his hypocrisy. Her eyes flashed with fiery contempt and he stepped back, feeling the slow burn of her powers.

She could see nothing; feel nothing except for the rapid beats of her heart as she screamed at him furious. _"You spiteful hypocrite. How dare you attack me for doing something that you have engaged in with random females at your leisure? Do you think I am your property that you can use and then toss aside as you want? Well I am not."_

She felt dizzy and she feared that she might pass out. She went limp and really looked at him; because he had kept quiet the entire time while she'd yelled at him. And suddenly the violence rose like exploding steam between them, and the only stride that he made brought them face to face again. The fire of his fury seemed to leap from him to encompass her. She promised that she would always fight him; and he swore to tear her limb from limb.

He stared at her clenching his jaw against the desire to strike her down where she stood. He despised her. He smiled without amusement. The woman infuriated him so much that he had to clamp his hands into tight fists so as not to reach out and snap her neck.

Why was he so tolerable of the disrespect and outburst that she meted out on him? His very nature screamed at him to make her pay. But he would control the urge to punish her, he was too mixed up right now and his feelings he could not trust.

He stepped away; although hard he was willing to let it go. He really did not have a right or claim over the woman as she so rightfully put it. Kagome's body relaxed as he moved away, but still she was not yet ready to let this go.

There was more to his anger than he was letting on, a few hickeys was not enough for him to draw a definite conclusion. She was certain that he knew more and was hiding it from her. She was nobody's fool and whatever he was keeping from her she would find out.

As she walked to the door she paused and gazed at him. _"Perhaps you should kill me now, for I will always fight you,"_ she said calmly, but with enough venom to get her message across.

He chuckled darkly; his body shook with burning tension. Keen awareness scorched him and he was barely in control. Surely she teased him and he wondered why. Maybe she hoped that he would lose his composure altogether and kill her, he was no one's puppet and would not let her play him.

She saw his eyes and saw the thunder and cared not for it. _"Tell me Sesshomaru,"_ she said sarcastically, _"while you watched did you like what you saw?"_

She stared tauntingly at him for a few moments afterwards and he saw the quiver that ran across her lips, whether from piousness or rage he knew not nor did he care. He hated her, despised her at the moment. And all that filled his mind was the terrible physical limitation of his wrath.

Like a rushing strike of wind he made after her, he had no thoughts or feelings except for the pain that she inflicted deep down inside his soul. He saw her eyes darting for the door desperately seeking emission, she was close to it but he wouldn't let her escape him. He moved so swiftly that she only felt a gust; the next thing she knew was that her path of escape was blocked by his body.

He had to be cruel, pay no mind to her pleas if he wanted to bring her to submission. She'd sent out a challenge to him just now and he would answer it.

 _"Bitch, you will pay for your loose tongue!"_ He addressed her, and with a sweep of his hand he pinned her arms high above her head, smashing them into the wall before she could use her powers against him, then he let them go. They were numb and hardly useful to her at the moment. She cried out but that was not enough to make him retract, he threaded his fingers through her hair and lifted her off the floor.

She screamed at the top of her lungs from the pressure on her skull and the breaking strands.

The ferocious pain in his temples throbbed pitilessly now; it filled his body with passion and his mind with vengeance. She had gone too far; this night so help him she would plead for mercy or endure his wrath.

 _"No!"_ she screamed, raking her fingers down his arm drawing blood, but he didn't notice. He threw her down on the bed and fell upon her instantly, cupping her delicate chin in his palm and spoke in a deathly quiet tone, even as she writhed and flailed, twisting, trying with all her might to fight him.

 _"You will learn to respect me this day or you will suffer by my hands."_

She hissed. _"Bastard you had better kill me or you will be sorry."_

She caught her breath, and he wondered if she'd meant the words that she had spoken. But even his wonder was brief, for it was his anger that ruled him and fury shuddered through him.

 _"Submit!"_ he raged at her.

 _"No I will not,"_ she shouted in his face.

 _"Suit yourself,"_ he said calmly, although his eyes betrayed the rage that he was barely containing.

 **xxxxx** Brutal, ruthless hands touched her, stripping her of her last defence. He gazed down at her nakedness; with eyes frozen like a tall block of ice he savagely drove his knees between her thighs while holding her arms tight above her.

 _"No stop!"_ She shrieked, struggling desperately to free herself from his hold. His anger was so great that he was barely aware of her wild flailing. With cold perception he released his manhood from his hakamas and surged right through her.

She screamed in agony from the bitter pain. She struggled furiously against him as his member felt like it was cleaving her in two. New fire sang in his blood, instincts compelling him to act, telling him not to cease until he was spent.

The violence that she created in him was like a sweeping tempest and he was powerless to stop it. He thrust hard into her tight little body and groaned with the sweetness of it, she cried out in humiliation, keenly aware that the dry pain was being taken over by pleasure each time he buried his rigid member deep inside her body.

The more he rode her, the sweeter the pain and she moaned. He took a chance and let go off her arms, she raked her fingers seductively along his back and pulled him even deeper within. Neither of them knew what had changed, what was to be a brutal act of submission grew into passion.

She reached up and pulled his head down, their lips met in a bruising kiss, while their bodies moved to a rhythm of their making. He wasn't tender, he unleashed his passion furiously, and she groaned thickly and took him.

They had met as warriors on a lonely battlefield and they'd both lost. No victor would emerge.

 _"I hate you Sesshomaru,"_ she wanted to scream, but her voice came out as a trembling, shuddering whisper.

His mouth suddenly rose from her breast, his fingers with no apology smeared across her kiss swollen lips, he smiled and she frowned.

 _"Perhaps priestess this will teach you not to tease me."_

She hadn't the time to respond as his manhood seemed to expand with the onslaught of his power and desire; she gritted her teeth against the fullness inside her. His pace increased tenfold. She clung to him in desperation as she was sure she would shatter like glass at any moment.

The muscles in his back stiffened, he clenched his jaw and wrenched himself free of her core moments before climaxing. The spasm in his loins and body shook his frame and he threw his head back, not able to fully control the overwhelming sensation or his body's responses he shot his load onto her face like a cannon, she didn't move.

He hovered over her for a while longer before falling softly on top of her. She lay beneath him breathing shallowly, her heart pounding. Her eyes wide open but showed no sign of tears. She stared beyond him biting her lip.

She did not know what to feel. Their joining had been unexpected, it was practically non consensual and brutal. Had she been a willing party in her own rape? She couldn't tell, but one thing was for certain, if both of them didn't sit down and work out the issues they were both going to kill each other.

He rolled off her and used his yukata to wipe his seeds from her face. She sighed deeply as he lay down behind her, pulled her body close to his and nuzzled the back of her neck.


	14. Nothing is as it seems!

_**Please read and review!**_

Daytime passed into nightime and yet the relentless urge for pleasure had not eased. Kagome's eyes fluttered closed, her body trembled with desire glued to the Daiyoukai's skin with sweat. It was possession to the fullest, the heated touches, the lingering licks and the stab of his hips as he forced the unyielding tautness of his manhood deep inside her passage.

Waves of desire coursed through him, his body shivered in delight. He held himself firm, gritting his teeth while he savoured her pleasure. Her body was as pliant as clay in his hands; he moulded and shaped it to his liking as he acquainted himself with every nuance of her form.

The dangerous strain of his deliberate caresses sent shockwaves of ecstasy throughout her body. His intent clear, when he was through no other male would reside in her head and heart. He would possess down to the very soul of her being with himself.

He kissed her lips, her throat and breasts, one then the other, sometimes tenderly and at other times with ravenous hunger. He penetrated her so deeply and strongly, searching for and drawing forth her reluctant passion.

She clenched her teeth and tightly closed her eyes as she tried to remain calm; but then the sweet pain of passion touched her so intensely, once, twice so many times that its overpowering influences made her scream out long and hard as she let go of the delirious ache that she desperately tried to control.

His rhythm slowed intentionally making the blazing fire simmer, quickly she breathed air into her starving lungs that she so desperately needed. However, he didn't let her breathe for long; he became engaging and frenzied until all that they could hear was the erotic sounds of their bodies and the cries of delight. Then the flames dimmed once more only for him to build it up back again.

More minutes passed as he buried himself deep within the woman beneath him. He groaned each time her walls clenched him tighter and tighter. She felt so good wrapped around him and in the heat of passion he nearly became undone. Suddenly he lessened the pace of his strokes and hovered above her on his arms and gazed down into dark desirous eyes, before completely stilling his movements.

She stared up at him with slightly parted lips still stinging with the bite of his kisses. He smiled with his eyes, turning heat into a sparkle. Did he really love her or was she only here for his pleasure? She wondered, just before his head descended to lick the length of her neck languidly, causing a quiver to run all over her body. He lingered by her throat tasting the tang of her salty flesh for long.

The unhurried strokes that he used to caress her neck and shoulders soothed the worries from her mind though her heart would not be silenced. There were so many sensations swirling around inside it that she felt it might actually burst. It was too full

He could hear the roar of her heart over the heavy breaths that she inhaled and exhaled. The rush of viscous blood sweeping through her veins distracted him completely from the task at hand. He stiffened and closed his eyes against the temptation. The magnetism of her blood as it pulsed under his quivering lips drew his fangs closer to it. His nerves of steel rattled against the desire to sink in. His body and soul rose with heat as if his being was set on fire as her blood called out to him like the saccharine taste of honey.

He was tempted, just one bite infused with his youki and she would be his for all eternity. He pondered just a bit more and then he felt her arms entwined around his neck before she slowly gyrated on him, breaking the alluring spell. The woman beneath him was seemingly growing impatient with the deadlock; he speared through her roughly, quickly building the fires up to a crescendo.

She felt as light as a feather being blown high in the air by a teasing gust. She trembled under him as he grounded into her heat and the heady sensation of falling danced across her eyes. She heard herself crying out as she plummeted back down to earth and though the haze she felt the soothing kisses of her lover all over her face.

She sighed in contentment. If this was a dream she could die blissfully. Their time together was a fusion of fantasy and reality where neither was distinguishable. She could feel his hot breath on her throat, smell the natural icy pinewood of his scent now that the delirium of her climax had passed.

The paleness of his flesh lit up in the moonlight streaming through the window. Shaky fingers ran along his back touching the sturdy planes of his lean body. His tempo grew hurried and impatient once more with her shy touches as he sought to find his own release. The more he moved within her tightness, the deadlier the itch that only the fullness of him could assuage.

She locked her hands around his waist and pulled him even deeper within. She panted breathlessly from the strain of the mounting span inside her; suddenly he felt larger, heavier and a keening wail rasped from between her lips.

One moment she was almost drowning in deep ecstasy and the next moment she was on her hands and knees with his long and thick manhood aiming for her mouth. She inched back in hesitation, not because she was unwilling to please him. Truthfully, she was nervous and slightly embarrassed. Her fears had little to do with the act itself and had everything to do with the disillusionment that she had felt once before.

The force of the nerves ticking at the sides of her head made her unsteady as she recalled how troubled she had been after performing this act on Inuyasha. He had come undone in her mouth quickly and had easily dismissed the deed as being shameful and had instructed her never to do it again.

Sesshomaru watched her carefully trying to decipher why she'd suddenly grown cold. She looked up at him with sad eyes searching his face for signs of disgust and saw nothing. He sighed and turned to move away, then suddenly she grabbed onto his thigh stopping him.

" _Don't move,"_ she whispered.

He nodded to her and wearily she closed her eyes to steady her jangled nerves. He understood the complexity of the situation without an explanation; he could see it plainly on her face. He slid long fingers through her hair and caressed her scalp, trying to put her mind at ease.

In time Kagome opened her eyes after she had garnered enough confidence to try and pleasure him. His phallus still hard and pulsing with need became her focal point. He was big and their combined fluids glistening all over his shaft made it appear larger in the moonlight.

She drew nearer with half parted lips; this close she could smell the hot spice of their mingled scents on him. She closed her eyes and quietly pulled in a long breath of the erotic mix of their sex, while Sesshomaru observed the meanderings of the miko with equal parts fascination and yearning.

Her lips closed around the large blunt head of his member slowly, tasting the zest of him on her willing tongue. She smiled against him when the hand holding onto his thigh vibrated from his reaction, he trembled. With her other hand she held onto the base of his shaft firmly, stroking it up and down while suckling the mushroom head of his gland gently.

Her mouth slicked with moisture moved easier down the thickness of him while the slippery muscle that was her tongue tickled the nerves and large veins of his member intimately. He thrust against her hand and lips as the pleasurable sensations spiralled into raw abandon.

He stared at the priestess's lush pink lips wrapped around his manhood as she hungrily pleasured him and the feeling was simply divine. Her bobbing head sprinkled with thick luxuriant hair fell forward blocking the sensual view which was not to his liking. A sweeping hand brushed the tresses back and held it away from her face.

He groaned as the erotic image filled his eyes again, he surged deeper against the measured strokes that she used to bind his mind and body. She opened her mouth wider to accommodate his ever increasing girth. He thrust again; holding on tighter to her head as the rolling waves of his climax was almost upon him.

Weakness swamped him turning his limbs to jelly as Kagome continued to heatedly nurse on him. Her harsh breaths were like music to his ears. He heard her moan as she pulled his pulsing manhood hard down her throat, he arched over her as pleasure turned to pressure and he was barely able to keep upright.

Tension rippled throughout his body. He stiffened and she knew that he was close. She went down on him faster, took him deeper inside while the strokes of her hand increased. Heat climbed within him like an untamed current in the middle of a tempestuous storm. A bolt of lightning dashed through him, he shuddered as the waves of release struck him like a clap of thunder.

The seeds of satisfaction seeped from his hardened form, rushing like a raging river as it flooded her mouth. His cry of fulfilment was a deep guttural grunt and tremors. She gasped swallowing his essences but did not choke on the scalding emissions. When she was done and he was clearly satisfied, she slowly withdrew from him. He was still hard and slightly weakened while she stared up at him quietly.

He gazed down on her kneeling form after his body had calmed and saw the sticky opaque fluids of his release on either side of her lips. He smiled feeling pleased by her performance, and she in turn watched him with unsure stormy blue eyes. She had definitely fulfilled his desires. So why did she look so unhappy? He queried internally.

The answer to his conjecture he was convinced had something to do with his brother, he had been very immature. Regardless of what he thought at the moment he would not dwell on it, he would consider on it some more at a later date. For now he would focus all his attentions on the woman beside him.

The profound sadness welling up into her eyes was a cause for concern. Yet he found that he couldn't concentrate on it for long. He wasn't a heartless brute and her emotional state was of great importance to him. It was simply that his mind was occupied with the occurrence moments ago.

He still could hardly believe that Kagome had not been repulsed by the taste of him. She did not remove herself from the brunt of his climax, and yet he was quite certain that it wasn't an accident. Because she must have known by his body's reaction that he was at his end. It was irrefutably not a discouragement on his part, if anything he yearned for her even more.

She felt the brush of his fingers on either side of her lips smoothing away dribbles of his semen from her face. Then his arms were about her waist pulling her tight to him and a succulent kiss planted on her lips. She sighed and kissed him back with even greater abandon than before, nicking the soft flesh of her lips on his fangs in the process.

He was slow as he licked the blood away, and then he lowered them to the mattress and curled her form to his. She just lay there tired with her head on his chest doing nothing more than listening to the steady beat of his heart.

The stable melodies of his heart were hypnotic, inciting a wash of tenderness to pass through her; suddenly she was aware that she was falling in love with him again. Perhaps she had always been a little bit in love with him. Maybe that's why she had been so angry and disappointed in his treatment of her, and effectively it had caused her to lash out at him and at life.

Now they had come full circle, the memories of Inuyasha casted aside in the heat of passion. She pulled away from his chest and stared deeply into his eyes, trying to assess if he loved her also. She couldn't tell because he had a satisfied smirk plastered on his lips in the afterglow of their lovemaking. So she decided to approach the matter directly, she would ask him.

Pain crept into her heart and she hesitated. What if he was only toying with her and he really did not love her? She looked away troubled. She had no desire to become his willing mistress. Her love was selfish and it demanded all that he had to give.

He glanced at her for a moment feeling the anxious shift of her aura _. "Kagome what troubles you so?" H_ e asked softly, though he couldn't hide the concern from showing on his face.

She gave him a wan smile before taking a long cleansing breath of air and then responded. _"So much has happened between us since Inuyasha's death and now that we are lovers I am still unclear. What do I really mean to you."_

He moved a little closer so that he could encase her petite frame into the circle of his arms. Then, he brushed his lips against hers as he contemplated a suitable yet truthful answer. Nothing would be gained by being prideful; he had almost lost her because of stubbornness.

She on the other hand lowered her head in thought as she waited on him to supply her with a response. She couldn't deny the attraction, something about him made her body quiver, filled her with excitement, sending her heart racing. Yet the thought of only being one of his lovers drove misery deep inside her soul.

His lips came to rest on her forehead and he uttered against it. _"Why are you in doubt Kagome, haven't I purposely led you to my bed chamber to be with you? And before now couldn't you feel or see my real intentions towards you?"_

She shook her head unsurely. Could he really be admitting that he loved her? She examined his words carefully and realized something. He had just confessed that he had strong emotions for her, and knowing this demon as intimately as she did that was as good as it would get. Perhaps one day he would eventually say the words, 'I love you' to her.

She smiled genuinely this time and kissed him, her lips pressed to his and she allowed the sensations shared between them to pacify any doubts.

" _It's getting late,"_ he murmured and deliberately pulled out of her embrace. _"I will be back shortly."_

She nodded and watched him tie a robe close around his body before leaving and shutting the door behind him. She lay quietly on her back afterwards staring at the ceiling, wondering if she was dreaming, and if she was she dared not wake up.

She had spent two days in his bed and arms doing nothing but making sweet love, and discovering in the process that with him she became alive. There was no shame in what they did with each other; she loved the wildness of him and the uninhibited desire it brought out in her. The door opening wrenched her mind back to the present.

" _I thought that you might be hungry,"_ he said, taking a tray heavy laden with food to the bed.

" _Yes, thank you,"_ she replied gratefully, reaching for the serving dish.

They ate in silence for awhile before Kagome decided to feed Sesshomaru with some of the berries. She stretched out her hand with a few of the sweet fruits in her palm.

He smiled at seeing the playful gleam in her eyes before leaning forward and picking the berries from her hand with his teeth. She giggled at his unexpected actions, though she was pleased. She wasn't overly shocked by it because she had witnessed and had been a recipient of his tenderness once before.

In the morning, Kagome encouraged Sesshomaru to the river with the promise of more sex. They reached their destination at noon time. The first thing that they did was to bathe, idly washing and caring for each other.

When they were done he dried her off first and then she returned the favor. Kagome spread a large blanket and placed two pillows where they would rest their heads. The day felt so peaceful, she was happy and he was contented.

They rest their bodies down watching through the tree tops the play of sunlight filtering down. Soon it would be the dead of winter again and such delights could not be enjoyed, Kagome considered. She turned to him and placed an arm about his middle feeling much at peace, however, it still felt as though they really did not know each other.

" _Mmmph,"_ she sighed, " _Sesshomaru when you and I are like this I feel so free, I feel like I could go on forever with you and yet I regret."_

He turned on his side immediately and faced her with a slight frown upon his brows. He searched her eyes for the answer to the cryptic message because her words bothered him a bit.

Momentarily she shifted away from his beautiful face and eyes. The last thing that she wanted to do was to spoil the happy mood after making up with him over two wonderful days.

So as casually as she could she informed him _. "Please don't trouble yourself with my mood, all is well,"_ she then reached for his fingers and laced them with hers and carried on. _"I am happy with you."_

He remained silent for a little while knowing that Kagome avoided telling him something and it caused him to worry.

The two days that they had spent loving each other was a time that he would always treasure; regardless of that to exist blinded by bliss was a fool's errand. He had to know what truly bothered her even though she evaded the discussion. He sighed quietly; her assurance did nothing to ease his mind. Kagome was discontented about something and he needed to know what it was so that he could help her to fix the problem.

" _Don't you trust me?"_ He asked. She glanced sideways at him and nodded yes. _"Then why don't you speak clearly and say what is really on your mind?"_

Kagome closed her eyes, hoping that what she would say to him now would not be misconstrued as something else. She did not want to isolate him or make him feel any pressure with her words.

Her throat dried as his piercing eyes remained on her; she gulped with how anxious she felt before she said anything else.

" _When I'd vanished from this time after Naraku's defeat I was unsure of what I had wanted, but my heart began to ache for Inuyasha and my friends as time moved on. I suppose the portal through the well understood my feelings and it granted me passage back through time."_

She sighed heavily and then stopped speaking. Sesshomaru sensed a clear change in her aura and sat up. He saw tears spilling down the sides of her face and suddenly looked perplexed. He didn't say anything because he did not foresee nor did he understand the mood that came upon her so suddenly.

She waited a few moments silently contemplating if she should do this now. He watched her as she watched him, then he looked away and finally said something.

" _I don't understand why you are telling me your life story. The past is long gone and should be forgotten; the future is what we make of it."_

Kagome sat up quickly and pulled on his arm, he glanced at her sideways and she glared at him. _"I am not hashing up the past to upset you or because I am unable to let go of it. I am simply telling you that I had such high hopes for myself. I had wanted love and a family, I would never have presumed that Inuyasha would die leaving me alone and childless."_

She felt irritated and the irritation lingered for long, it became apparent that she could not drive the emotion away as easily as she had thought. She was uneasy, she hadn't realized before now that after all this time the reality of her life would still cut so deep.

Her eyes were wide as she searched her heart for answers. He frowned deeply seeing her in such a state and drew her closer to him. He kissed her head on hearing the raspy sobs escaping from her lips and knew that she'd somehow managed to blame herself for hers and Inuyasha's misfortune. He wasn't one to interfere with other's business but this time he found that he could not ignore her or resist the urge to console her.

" _You are not to be blamed for the circumstance that has afflicted you, if it is anyone's fault it is that of Inuyasha's,"_ he said hoarsely as the sum of his emotions riled up in her defence.

Sesshomaru paused feeling the tension in her body, then slowly she removed herself from his embrace. Kagome held still, her eyes focused on him becoming cold.

" _I wouldn't have thought that after all this time you could still hate your brother,"_ she said slowly, angrily, _"how can you blame him for something that neither he nor myself had any control over? My inability to conceive had nothing to do with Inuyasha."_

" _You spout nonsense woman,"_ he replied harshly, his eyes hard, encased in ice.

Kagome saw the rage in his eyes and sought to calm him by wrapping her arms tightly around him. She didn't want things to spiral out of control again. The few days of peace between them had been good and just the thought of things reverting to animosity and chaos gave her an instant headache.

" _Please don't be angry…I just don't understand how and why you would say something like that."_ She shook her head hoping to clear her mind because she was confused and the pain in her heart had begun again.

He lifted his hand and rubbed her back tenderly, she had fallen forward onto him with her head resting on his chest crying. He did not want to hurt her needlessly, but he would not stand by and watch her torture herself over something that was no fault of hers.

He purposely waited a few minutes before saying anything. It grieved him to tell her the truth because no matter what comforting words he may used, she would still be hurt by them.

He sighed softly and closed his eyes against the strain of his thoughts. The little priestess had come to mean a great deal to him and the last thing that he wanted was to see her hurt and crying. He made a tight fist to keep the seething anger of his grouses from spilling forth.

" _Kagome what you may perceive as unfortunate truths might not actually be so_ ," his lilt sounded low and strange to his ears as if he was not himself.

She looked up at him with incomprehension reflecting in her eyes. _"I don't understand…What do you mean?"_

He looked away from her wet sad eyes and ran a hand through his hair feeling the dead weight of his emotions. He felt her pain and uncertainty cover his skin like pricking needles, he winced. Prolonging the truth would not help either of them, he had to be forthright. The sooner the truth flew free, the sooner life could continue on without regret.

" _Inuyasha was sterile,"_ he said quietly, _"he would never have been able to impregnate you even if he had a hundred lifetimes to try."_

The shock of his words was like the unexpected discharge of ten loaded rifles close by her ear in the dark. Her head recoiled from the impact, she looked deep into his eyes assessing if he jest. However, she saw nothing of the sort, only truths that made the situation all the more astounding.

She felt a crimson tide of blood vacate her heart making her weak and unbalanced; the urge to regurgitate her lunch rose up into her throat like rancid meat and she could not stem the flow. She leaned over to the side of the blanket as bile formed and she thought that she might get sick. Nothing came out though the nauseating sensation remained for awhile.

The feel of his hands on her back and arm lending her some support was welcomed but the anxieties in her head and heart would not let her dismiss the issues so easily. She had to know why he had such pertinent information that she did not know all these years and yet she was the one that had been married to his brother.


	15. Serenity!

**_Please read and review!_**

The excruciating tide of emotions that had attacked her just moments before slowly lessened, and nausea that incredulity had left behind was now a sinking feeling deep down inside her gut. She lifted her head and opened her eyes, suddenly becoming aware of the ferocious ache at her temples.

The sky above was still blue and calm; nothing had changed except for the serenity that had enfolded her minutes ago. She sighed feeling lost, caught up in waves of doubts. Sesshomaru had just turned her whole world upside down with a very contentious revelation.

She shook her head in weariness, clinging to the last shred of reason in her logical mind. She glanced at him frustrated and encountered his thoughtful expression and then looked away again. She was hurt and angry and yet she wanted so much to accept as truth what he had said.

However, accommodating such truths would not go down easily when the pain was so sharp and unyielding. It was just not possible. The rancour of Sesshomaru's declaration cleaved too deeply into her being for it to be readily accepted as blind reality.

It wasn't that she didn't believe him, and she couldn't think up any good reason for him to lie to her either. But the swell of uncertainty raging inside her heart and mind over the matter at hand was just too much to grasp at the moment. Furthermore, the magnitude of the statement and the reproachful consequences if what she suspected was in fact accurate would no doubt become an earth shattering tear inside her soul.

She trembled even as she speculated on the issues, because if she accepted this piece of information as valid, it would mean that her entire life with Inuyasha had been one big fat lie.

Kagome gasped aloud at the very idea. Startled, Sesshomaru turned slightly and looked at her, his brows knitted with concern at the confusion and sadness that he viewed embedded deep into her face. He looked away again, worried by the morose expression on her visage but he would not harbour any sentiments of guilt over telling her the truth. It was time she learned of it and moved on.

Anyhow he sought to comfort her by holding onto her fingers gently while he waited on her to come to terms with the past. They stayed silent for so long that he could hear the beating of her heart while the world seemed to hold still around them.

His eyes were upon her again as the endless silence continued. He watched her respectfully for the maturity in which she displayed in spite of the fact that she was hurting and in doubt. Before now she would have lashed out at him, saying useless things to him in anger, hence causing conflict and opening up unwanted rifts between them.

Staring off in the distance ahead Kagome was dimly aware of the purrs of her kitten growing louder as she came closer. A thin smile stretched her lips as the fire cat came into view. She had not seen her pet in almost a week and she was as pleased as she could be under the circumstances by her sudden appearance.

She stretched out her arms beckoning to Michi to come hither; the kitten purred more excitably as she raced the remaining way to her. She enveloped her pet close to her bosom and allowed the fondness that she had for the animal to comfort her though sadness seared through her soul making her cry softly into the kitten's fur.

Long moments passed before she let Michi go who ran into the bushes immediately chasing after a large rodent. She felt miserable and vulnerable again now that her arms were empty. She needed the solace of a loving embrace and soothing words to comfort her in her time of weakness and uncertainty.

Sesshomaru was barely a foot away and she needed him like never before but she wouldn't dare burden him with her troubles. Perhaps she would have been more willing to draw closer to him if he had offered her an ounce of support in the pass. He had always remained aloof even when she was at her lowest and had cried ceaselessly for Inuyasha at his passing.

She glanced at him again and this time his head was lowered. She sighed softly; not knowing what was going on inside his mind made it all the more difficult for her to reach out to him for comfort. Maybe she was being foolish and a tad judgmental because they had spent two blissful days in bed making love, enjoying each other and talking.

Those times had to count for something. Didn't it? The thought was as perplexing as an obscure nightmare. They'd shared not only the physical in those instances but a deeper understanding of each other, and if she were to be bold they had shared love as well. So why was she still in doubt?

The more she thought on the tumultuous relationship that they had shared the more reserved she grew. Or it could be that she was looking for a reason to isolate herself from him because she did not want to accept the truth of what he had said. Up until now she had not asked him the two most important questions that had been burning up her heart.

She was scared for herself, uncertain of the future and slightly tormented over the way her life had unfolded; she so desperately needed his care and understanding that she ached all over just thinking on the possibilities. Would he reject her, brushing her worries aside as inconsequential or would he pull her close? She didn't know the answers to those questions and she feared even more to find out.

Sesshomaru's attitude towards her may have softened somewhat but he was still an unpredictable demon whose emotions were not fully known to her, and that set of circumstances made it difficult for her to approach him with her concerns. She shook her head slightly as the low feeling within dropped to dangerous degrees.

Intellectually she knew that sex and love were often times two separate desires competing inside an individual depending on the person's state of mind or maturity. The standard viewpoint was that this principle was easier to define in women compared to men who could disconnect the two emotions without feeling any shame or guilt over their choices. So what did she truly mean to him at this point in time even though he had stated before that he cared a great deal for her? To her they were just words said in the heat of passion and could not be taken seriously.

Still, they had shared much of themselves with each other over these last few days, but she surmised that it was not a sufficient amount of time to expect him to be the source of the emotional support that she needed right now. They had barely tested the depths of their feelings for one another, and in her mind it was too much to ask of him so soon.

Unfortunately for her the misgivings on her mind dredged up and retrieved awful memories. It was not so long ago that he had egregiously told her that he could never love her; he had said to love her would be foolish and that he was not. She clenched her eyes shut against the horrible memory, though her body remained weary and her heart heavy as if she had endured a long tiresome battle.

He was at her side, her fluctuating emotions bothered him and he could not help but to analyse them. He deliberately deciphered her aura and mood as it ebbed and flowed like the wavering tides. He knew that she was drowning in uncertainty and had every right to feel as she does.

Their relationship had been chaotic from the start, none of them had taken the initiative to let go of the prideful feelings in their heart, and because of the strain, he had not been very forthright with his feelings for her, and now she doubted his sincerity. He turned to her again and saw the slump of her shoulders and heard the wild beating of her heart. She was scared but refused to draw comfort from him, instead she stared impassively ahead.

He hissed quietly in annoyance, he had miscalculated, he had thought that by now she would have been able to determine his true intentions towards her. There was no doubt in his mind that she had seen through his façade of indifference and had measured it against his ire, and had used his growing affections for her to taunt him because she was aware that he never truly desired to hurt her any at all.

How else did she rationalize his high tolerance level for all the disrespect that she had shown him? Or is it that she did not think he had emotions to begin with because he was full demon, a monster in her eyes? He thought resentfully. Before her his feelings were not as intense, but because of her he had to deal with them and now he would never deny her anything that she truly wanted.

He had even disregarded his own stubborn pride and had taken her in his bed and arms after her cheap affair with another male. That alone should be enough to shed more light on his true feeling for her. He was extremely tempted to reach out and grab the obstinate woman, pulling her close to his side to keep her safe when suddenly she turned to him with eyes filled with tears.

Her lips trembled as he observed her preparing herself to finally speak after the long pause. He breathed deeply, quietly; he already knew what would come.

 _"You say that Inuyasha was sterile and that he was incapable of getting me pregnant, did he know as well?"_ She queried with faltering tones.

He gazed at her gravely, he was silent; he did not deny her words. She made a sound of mourning despair. She felt terror welling within her and gasped, and despite her best effort her next question broke as a sob.

 _"Sesshomaru please tell me the truth, why did he keep such a thing from me…Why?"_

He hesitated, and for a moment the look in his eyes suggested that he would hold her, that he longed to touch her just as she desperately longed to be assured that all of this was simply a terrible nightmare. But he did not hold her, and the truth that this was no dream but the harsh reality of life was there in his gaze. She lowered her head as her eyes watered; she would not let him see the bitter tears of her sorrow. She lay quietly back down on the blanket when all the strength seemed to vanish from her body.

She heard him say her name but had no energy left in which to respond. All her senses had suddenly gone mute and her body numbed with regret, turning all her happy memories into a painful heartache.

Sesshomaru struggled with his emotions watching and listening to the woman that he cared for among all others crumble under the pressure of a failed fantasy. He had seen it in her eyes that she'd believed he had spoken the truth, and yet she was hurting because of it. It would seem that she would have preferred to continue living happily believing a lie.

He was not inconsiderate of her feelings of loss and bitterness, but she was alive and had faced terrible ordeals and had survived them all. And now she was a pathetic being carelessly losing herself to depression, inviting the dead and the past to chart the remainder of her life.

She began to shiver with fear as the cold hard facts of her life rained down on her like a terrifying blizzard. He heard her cry out his brother's name and muttering why? She shook her head from side to side with her eyes wide with panic.

No, he would not let her give up; this was not his way of doing things. Leaving her to mourn was only facilitating her need to destroy herself with one more tragedy, although they were all linked to the half breed.

He spun on her, swiftly capturing her arms above her head and bringing his mouth to hers in a bruising kiss. He bit down harshly forcing his fangs through her lips. She cried out in terror and struggled beneath him from the immense pain.

He bit down harder paying no heed to her cries and screams. The more she struggled the harsher he bit into her lips. Blood dribbled down her chin and onto her chest, and his weight on top of her almost stopping the very air from entering her lungs.

 _"Please stop!"_ she finally yelled out, letting a spark of her reiki lick against his back.

Slowly he removed himself from across her body and gazed down on her shaking form; his eyes burning and his mouth set in a line of disgust. She glared at him and cried harder; his lips parted and he spoke.

 _"You cry for what you could never have with Inuyasha and yet the sting of my bite is far more tangible. Mourn for what is real and not for things that has no value in life."_ His words were slow but pierced the veil of her clouded heart instantly.

She sat up quickly and stared at him with quickening anger. _"How dare you make light of what I am going through, all this time my life had been nothing but a joke and Inuyasha…How could he do this to me?"_

 _"He did it to give you hope,"_ he countered immediately. _"ould you have been contented while he was alive if you had known from the beginning that he was sterile, and could never give you the children that you desired?"_

Her eyes widened with the question posed to her, and it was one that gave her much to think about.

Sesshomaru continued without another moment's hesitation. It was time for the past to perish.

 _"You asked how I knew he was sterile, it is simply this. All hanyous born of a demon and a human can never reproduce. Look around Kagome and you will see that it is nature's way. We may act and have similar characteristics but we are different in many ways. The species were never meant to mix, but sadly when it comes to love most do foolish things."_

He stopped speaking for awhile giving her a moment to collect herself and to say whatever she wanted if she felt the need, but all he felt and saw was her seething anger. Apparently she was not convinced and believed that he had other motives than simply relating the truth. He shook his head and stood up with his back to her; nothing had changed between them in spite of his best efforts to get her to trust him.

He said nothing more and felt the silence stretching between them again. He sensed her movements and turned to see her redressing into her kimono. Her shoulders were stiff and her eyes focused elsewhere. Her actions were deliberate as she avoided his stare. He noticed how tired she looked and that she was near tears again.

As she sat there she did not know what to believe about him anymore. He had just said that the races were never meant to mix and she could not forget the deep resentment that he'd carried for his father, a noble demon that had loved a human woman and had died to protect her and his son. It was clear that he still maintained such nonsense. So the question on her mind was. What was his real intention for being with her? She was human after all.

Tears rose in her eyes; tears that were no longer hers alone. They represented the grief of all the individuals that had a forbidden love like hers, for Sesshomaru's and Inuyasha's father, for Izayoi and for her loss.

After some time had passed and there were no more tears left to cry she leapt to her feet and suddenly turned on him. _"I knew it was too good to be true to stupidly believe that you could have changed for the better, when here you are being cynical with your primitive ideologies."_

She glared at him in challenge, his brows arched as his anger soared once more. Then he chuckled but the laughter did not touch his eyes. _"If your fantasies make you happy then you must cling to them,"_ he said reproachfully.

She opened her mouth to refute his statement but refrained when he abruptly stepped away from her. She called out his name but he ignored her and then began to speak again as if he had not heard.

 _"I harbor no ill intent towards the love shared between you and my brother. He was half demon and as such was born sterile, "_ Kagome gasped, he turned and looked at her, she was in pain and sadly he could not take it away.

She would have to dig deep within herself to find the strength that she needed to fight the sorrows in her soul and to live on, and if she required it of him he would stay by her side and help her through it. But for now she needed to hear the truth; recognize it so that they could have something meaningful together if she still desired it. As he waited he realized that her anger had calmed though she seemed more sad and reflective.

 _"I don't understand any of this,"_ she said and shook her head, _"I am human and by your standards I am not worthy to be your partner much less to carry your offspring…So tell me, why you fight so hard to keep me with you?"_

He forced himself to gaze at her with disinterest so that he could answer truthfully and calmly, because his emotions were spiralling within, almost out of control and one wrong move, one wrong word could shatter their unsteady truce.

After a short time he was able to calm the raging seas of his mind and responded softly. _"Initially I took you in because it was my brother's dying wish, but in spite of the many attempts that I'd made to drive you away my heart had other plans."_

He turned away from her after seeing the shocked look on her face. She tried to think quickly, to say something but nothing was forthcoming; she was stunned speechless.

Their little talk wasn't done yet; he had the rest of the explanation to get out in the open so that there would be no further misunderstandings between them on the subject. He pursed his lips tightly growing impatient with the situation before he faced her again. He stared at her for a moment and then asked.

 _"Do you know what is born from the coupling of a horse and a donkey?"_ Her eyes narrowed in confusion briefly, not because she was unsure of the answer, but because of the oddity of the question.

She swallowed thickly prior to her answer, feeling dreadfully uncomfortable under his golden scrutiny. _"A mule,"_ she finally replied.

He nodded in agreement, and suddenly the unease inside her head and body mounted as the truth slowly unravelled in front of her eyes.

She watched his piercing eyes and saw as they softened upon her face and knew how he really felt inside and was heartbroken by it. Wearily she closed her eyes as his voice filled her ears again.

 _"Inuyasha is much like a mule in that he was a bi- product of two beings similar in likeness but different at the core, and like them his kind would never be able to breed. It is unfortunate that things turned out this way, he had wanted to make you happy and after ten years of marriage and being childless he came to see me, I took no joy in informing him of his short comings."_

Kagome lowered her head trembling, all these years she had thought that it was fate that had prevented her from having a family. Only to hear now that it was simply a case of biology made her even angrier.

Sesshomaru did not need to explain further, she was an educated woman from the future and knew the theories behind reproduction. For procreation to take place the creatures involved would have to be evenly-matched to produced beings like themselves capable of breeding. The chromosomes level of the parents would have to be of equal amount.

In the case of a mule the similarities between its parents were sufficient enough for them to conceive but the uneven number of chromosomes between them guaranteed that their offspring would be infertile.

The dog general and Inuyasha's human mother had anatomies smimilar in likeness to each other with subtle aesthetic differences; but their genetic makeup differed a great deal with just enough connection for them to breed.

However, his father would have had thrice the amount of chromosomes than his mother being humanoid and a dog. Thus making any offspring that they created a sterile being.

It was a lot to take in and her world spinning around viciously made the task even more daunting. She sat back down feeling the heavy weight of the burdens on her shoulders, and the splitting ache in her head made her eyes water. She rubbed her temples gently to alleviate some of the pressure while Sesshomaru stared at her thoughtfully.


	16. Waiting!

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The sun rose with brilliance, white and silver aglow. Kagome watched the breathtaking view from bed. When daybreak made its first peek through the sheer silky curtains she decided that it was a reasonable hour to be up. Several months had passed since the incident at the river, although long, the relevance of it still tingled painfully. Even now, coming to terms with Inuyasha's sterility and how cruel life could be sometimes made her frustrated.

She sighed deeply and then shifted her thoughts to other matters. It was another typical day except that she was lying in her own bedroom. Nothing was amiss between her and Sesshomaru. In fact they had spent almost every moment together since they'd both come to terms with their feelings for one another. Sleeping apart these last four days had been trying though it was an essential part of their arrangement. Sesshomaru became restless during her monthly courses.

Perhaps his mood had a lot to do with his animal nature. The smell of blood whilst it entices was not something that he was prepared to scent for days on end without a break. Thankfully it was finished, and now she and Sesshomaru could enjoy the quiet time together without the uneasiness.

She sat up and removed the sheet from her torso before taking a long lazy stretch. She yawned multiple times and felt as the kinks in her back snapped and weariness left her bones. Wide awake now, her mind was once again immersed in the past.

She huffed as the past threatened to overshadow her spirit. Would the memories ever fade? Or was she doomed to exist with the sadness of the bitter circumstances of her life? She hissed in annoyance and pulled a face of sheer irritation, then breathed deeply. The issues were still so very taxing even after so many months had passed by.

Minutes passed before the worries on her mind subsided. In a way, she was glad that the well kept secret about Inuyasha was out in the open, but it brought her dissatisfaction as well as great anxieties. She knew and understood clearly why Inuyasha had chosen to keep something like that from her. Still, in spite of that knowledge the ache in her heart had not disappeared.

The pain and sadness of losing Inuyasha and not being able to conceive would always remain in her heart, though she would not let it take control of her life any longer. She shook her head sadly; Inuyasha must have suffered greatly to keep his secret, to hide his inadequacies from her knowing full well that he was the cause of their failures.

Her temples began to throb just by thinking on their lives, the bitter sting made the pulse of regret grow stronger. She shook her head crossly this time, forcing the pessimism away before it totally overwhelmed her. Enough was enough. She cast the sheet aside and stepped away from the bed. Nothing good would come if she allowed herself to be consumed by misery. She had Sesshomaru by her side and maybe if he was willing she could still become a mother.

She smiled as new hope dawned in her heart. Sesshomaru cared for her deeply and over the months that they had spent together alone, just enjoying each other and growing in friendship and love should amount to something quite meaningful she surmised.

As she left the bedside she paused at the door and slightly drew it ajar. She stared at the closed door from across the hall using her senses to aid her. After establishing that Sesshomaru was not in his bedroom neither was he in the house she made her way to the bathroom. There she rushed through her bath and quickly dressed.

Later in the day she played a little game of hide and seek with her kitten that was much bigger now and looking more like her mother with each passing day. The hot summer month made it impossible for her to keep up with Michi's playful nature because she grew tired from the heat quickly.

Momo called out to her which halted her movements. She looked up ahead and was pleased to see the demoness with a glass of something cool to drink in her hand. Great timing she thought and patted the cat on the head before retiring to the front porch to sit. She and Momo chatted idly for awhile before she excused herself. Alone, she sat and waited for Sesshomaru while she watched the idyllic scenery stretched out in front of her.

The day had cooled significantly within the hour that she'd been outside by a teasing gust. The leaves of the trees rustled and the branches bowed and swayed to the rhythmic breeze. She couldn't take her eyes off the beautiful surroundings, there was something dreamy, almost magical about a field of wildflowers. Sesshomaru's property was dotted with cherry trees, plums, pears and spindle trees, and instead of being pruned they were allowed to grow naturally. The larger oak and apple trees partially shaded the blanket of grass that dipped with the terrain forming a long pathway to the house.

Wide un-shaded areas were thick with vivid colors of wild and cultivated flowers, and just when she thought that nothing could be more beautiful, Sesshomaru emerged from within the rainbow of fauna looking clean and fresh. She smiled happily, got up and stared around in delightful wonder.

 _"This is so beautiful Sesshomaru,"_ she stated so calmly and with a bright smile on her face, that he experienced the strangest feeling of contentment as he stepped onto the porch and stood by her side surveying the land.

" _Yes it is,"_ he responded softly and glanced at her.

 _"Is it just me or is there something enthralling about today?"_ She asked and turned, meeting his sparkling honey eyes.

He perused her face and saw happiness beaming from within, her smile widened and he placed his hand around her shoulder pulling her closer to him.

 _"Perhaps the contentment that you feel inside is what is making everything seems more beautiful to you at the moment,"_ he answered, swamped with the warm feeling of her aura

 _"I suppose you are right,"_ she said after awhile. _"I feel wonderful to the point where I believe anything is possible now."_

Without saying another word he took her with him as he sat. He was quiet and so was she. They sat in the silence for a long time observing nature at its most magnificent before he told her of his plans.

 _"I must take my leave with urgency today,"_ he said softly, with a touch of graveness in the undertones.

She was a little startled by his statement and so quickly she asked him. _"Why must you leave so suddenly?"_ Her eyes steadily focused on him.

He sighed and got up. Kagome would be displeased by the news he had to share but he must make haste; to linger would only serve to make things worse, though he had promised that he would not leave her for some time.

After a minute he turned back around and faced her. She looked calm on the outside he observed but he knew better, the woman quaked on the inside from anxiousness. He hesitated a moment and then said calmly.

 _"I have received information that a gang of bandits along with rogue demons have teamed up and are terrorizing the citizens not only here in the west but across the borders. I must look into it quickly."_

She got to her feet swiftly and heard herself let out a long breath and stated as a matter of fact. _Whew! "I had no idea but if you must go then I am coming with you."_

He gazed at her incredulously and then frowned deeply. Just a moment ago she was almost shaking with uncertainty and now she was eager and smiling.

His lips thinned with disapproval after his mind returned to the present topic. There was no way he would take her along, the risks were too great and he wouldn't have the time to safeguard her well being if a battle ensued and so he told her in no uncertain terms.

 _"I will not encourage such an action,"_ he said plainly but with enough caution that he saw the frown as it formed across her brows, _"the journey will be harsh and littered with peril. I have reasons to believe that this gang has organized themselves quite skilfully and dangerously."_ Kagome shook her and smiled trying to ward off the uneasiness she felt by the finality in his statement.

Sesshomaru's brows lifted with worry. He knew that she would make this hard on him. Her smile died as she searched for the right words to say to convince him to let her accompany him, while he waited patiently on her to speak.

 _"Sesshomaru I am not trying to be difficult, just let me tag along and I promise to be very careful...I know what you are thinking and I won't get in your way."_

He watched her staring up at him with wide pleading eyes, and if he had the mind to he would've laughed, but sadly this was not a laughing matter. Taking Kagome along with him could prove to be useful, but on the other hand the opposite could happen, and worse she could get severely hurt or even killed.

He'd promised his brother to look after her but that promise was no longer valid since he had taken the woman for himself. He had his own selfish reasons for wanting to keep her safe. The priestess meant a great deal to him right now and the need to protect her was a dominant one.

 _"I cannot agree in taking you along,"_ he finally said and looked away. _"It is best if you remain here."_

There was even more finality in his tone this time and Kagome inched closer to losing her temper. She was not a child and had fought alongside him in the past to defeat Naraku, or had he conveniently forgotten about that.

She sighed quietly as she lowered her head in thought. Why was she being so unreasonable about this when she knew that he only wanted to keep her safe? The answer to that she already knew in her heart. She wanted to be close to him no matter what dangers he may face, she wanted to fight alongside him, bring him comfort if he needed it. Staying calm and composed while he left to fight would not be possible; all that would serve to do was to bring her nothing but anxieties as she worried for him.

She couldn't let this go easily not when he had come to mean so much to her. He worried for her safety and she worried for his. He may not necessarily be aware of this but she had gotten stronger as a priestess and a fighter to boot. He turned towards the door and made to go inside, without hesitating a second more Kagome ran around him with her arms outstretched blocking his path.

He looked down on her hands and then at her face. He saw determination on her countenance as her eyes burned with it and realized that he had already lost.

 _"What do you require?"_ He queried tonelessly, he could not let it escape that he had almost given into her request. Knowing her personality she would find a way to follow him to hell even if he had her in chains.

She dropped her hands back to her sides and closed her eyes as she spoke confidently to him. _"I can help you...I am not weak and constantly in need of your protection, and in any case I will only worry about you if you leave me behind. Don't my feelings and what I want count in this matter Sesshomaru?"_

He sighed softly; as much as he was prepared to deny it, he really wanted her to be with him. Kagome wasn't a weak woman and she could hold her own in any situation. She had already proven her worth a long time ago. But still knowing all that did not empty the desire to protect and keep her away from conflict. He studied her face while he examined the things that she had just said to him and made a decision.

He only hope that he would not come to regret it. _"If you must follow go and prepare,"_ the stern expression on her face slowly softened and a smile took its place.

She threw her hands around his neck and planted a swift kiss to his cheek. He remained still and let her have her way because the affections she poured on him were unusual yet it was not displeasing.

 _"Thank you,"_ she gushed, _"I knew you would eventually change your mind because if you hadn't I would have followed you anyway."_

She smiled at him again and he wasn't quite certain what he should be feeling. He felt many things at the moment which were a tad confusing. But she was definitely correct when she'd said that she would have followed him in spite of him telling her not to.

After she had left him standing at the door with his thoughts, he decided upon a plan of action to deal with the hoodlums. What he had in mind would have to do considering the short amount of time that he had to form a defensive strategy.

As the plans he'd formulated sank in, his mind wandered again to Kagome, not for the first time that morning but many times. It was easy to see that he had a soft spot in his heart for her; she knew and hence her wilful behaviour. He couldn't fault her for that; she had always been stubborn and at times reckless to the point of rebelliousness when she believed solely that it was for a good cause.

Kagome dressed herself quickly in a light green dress reaching about mid-thigh with slits up the sides for ease of movements and matching pants. Her hair she secured in a top knot with golden hair pins. She glanced herself over a couple of times before taking up her bag and bow.

They left the premises quickly after that. Sesshomaru remained silent as they'd walked. She wanted to ask him some questions about the gang, but resisted the urge to do so because it was plain to see that he still harboured reservation about letting her come with him. About two miles into their journey he suddenly stopped and told her not to move, she opened her mouth to ask why but he was already gone. She shrugged carelessly and sat down on a tree stump and waited.

She wondered briefly what could have caused him to hurry off so suddenly and then she cast the thought aside when no answers were forthcoming. Bending the tall grass by her feet into odd shapes helped her to pass the time more quickly, though the wait was not a long one.

A short time later he surfaced through the bushes and nodded as he walked by her. She grabbed her bag and hurriedly followed after him. They walked for many hours and she was feeling the burn of the sun, her water container suddenly went dry, she frowned because she could not detect another source of water for miles. She lagged behind, she could not keep up with him; he stopped so that she could catch up.

When she was closer he began to walk again. He found that he liked that she did not complain too much about the heat. He was aware that the water container she carried needed refilling even though she hid that fact from him. At least she understood his motives, when he could he would let her rest and refresh herself. But for now they needed to get within striking distance of the town that housed the criminals before night fall.

She wasn't paying attention to where they were going and realized just now that he'd steered her down a path leading to a village. She could smell clean clear water close by and her spirits lifted.

 _"Sesshomaru where are we?"_ She inquired as they stopped.

 _"We are at the southern borders of the west,"_ he replied after scenting the air twice, _"there is an old barn near here and a river not far from it. We will rest there for the night."_

Kagome couldn't keep a straight face any longer, the words he had spoken was what she'd wanted to hear. She was tired, sweaty and thirsty. The thought of having a drink, a bath and rest could not have come at a better time.

It was night-time now; the land was covered in darkness without the moon to give it light. She spread the blanket over some hay for a softer place to sleep. Sesshomaru sat in the right hand corner of the barn keeping watch while she made herself comfortable for sleep.


	17. Probability!

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It was dead calm now except for the occasional quiet stealth of nocturnal beast that gave him a rush. He listened fervently and scented the air periodically for any changes, even minor ones. His body tense and his senses on high alert; he had to be extremely careful because of his stubborn companion. Having her here made him wary; she could become his weakness if things went awry.

He almost shook his head frustrated. Lately he could not understand his own mind. Perhaps he had taken leave of his senses, or it was the other way around and his senses had taken leave of him. Either way he was to be blamed; Kagome was singularly the most important person in his life right now. So it made no sense that he would give into her demands so easily. Why did he allow her to convince him to take her with him? It was a foolish decision considering the dangers involved. He clenched his jaw tightly as he realized that his thoughts and actions were not in harmony, and to indulge his shortcomings were unproductive. The decision was made and she was with him. All that mattered now was curtailing the threat at hand and to keep Kagome safe.

Rustling hay and a heavy breath shifted his thoughts. He turned his body quietly away from the barn door so that he could focus on her. For the last twenty minutes since he had bid her goodnight he had diligently kept watched and had thought that she had fallen asleep. As he concentrated on her form, Sesshomaru found Kagome's actions somewhat troubling. She tossed and turned for several more minutes trying to make herself comfortable, but in the end she could not fall asleep.

He was worried. Kagome was uneasy and the scent of danger surrounding them coated his tongue with the unwanted flavor of bile. The tight unsprung knots in his chest spoke of his worry more eloquently than he could put into words and he clenched his fists. Yet, he wasn't fearful for his safety per say; moreover, he was a seasoned warrior where killing and carnage became second nature when necessary. Regardless of that, the assurance wasn't full proof. Kagome would have to conform to his wishes and fight alongside him to survive. But could the priestess withstand the bloodletting that was to come, and could she take a human life just as easily as she could take a marauding demon's? The answers to his questions he could not fathom now; however, Kagome was brave and loyal to a fault which made him all the more uneasy.

He closed his eyes wearily in the dark thinking about tomorrow and how the events would unfold. Would the kami's favor him or would his weakness for Kagome and for allowing her to accompany him when he knew the illicit dangers involved be his undoing? The uneasiness in him lifted to new heights and he frowned.

The situation at hand was a cause for concern. Experience had taught him that even the best laid plan could spiral out of control in an instant if every little detail was not followed and executed properly. And even then there was no guarantee that the events would go accordingly; factoring all the unknowns into the equation was of high probability and not entirely possible.

Protecting her and destroying his enemies could prove to be a difficult task. The woman at his side has demonstrated unconventional ways time and again and would not easily listen to or obey him. He had no currency at the moment to deal with her behavior. He could only hope that when it matters most she would adhere to him. He straightened his back against the wooden walls of the barn while his left hand rested on his crouched knee. A soft sigh left his lips as his mind wandered back to earlier in the day when he had left Kagome for a short time to investigate a matter.

He had scented a presence close by the minute that they'd left the banks of the river and had traversed inland. Pausing, he'd taken shelter in a grove and had waited. He'd been suspicious at first when a young demon male of mixed blood came into view. The boy looked to be about seventeen in human years, large and well muscled dressed in battle regalia riding a white stallion. On further inspection of the boy Sesshomaru recognized the lad's scent. He was the fourth son of one of the few allies that he had left.

The youth had ridden his horse nearest to where he had hid among the trees and had dismounted with nimbleness that was surprising considering how stockily built he was. Sesshomaru noted that the young demon had looked around the area quickly knowing that he wasn't alone any longer. The pulse of power that he'd sent out washed over the boy. Although he had been uneasy he'd remained standing and had kept his composure.

As he'd watched from the sidelines the boy's face was set in stern determination, his features well defined and noble. He undoubtedly resembled a younger version of his father.

 **sksksk**

He'd stepped out from the covers of the trees putting the boy at ease. The young demon bowed to him and he'd acknowledged him with a nod. They'd conversed for awhile about the bandits and had even exchanged information on the gang's activities. Sesshomaru informed the boy of his plans and then had hurriedly left to get back to Kagome.

Kagome's restlessness was bothersome in a way that pulled strongly at his heart. She was fearful though he sensed a strong sense of excitement simmering in her aura. He was pleased; however, the reality was that they needed rest to be alert and to be at their best in the morning. By the looks of things if he did not assist her none of them would get any sleep. Not that he needed much. At best he needed quiet so that he could ease his mind.

He hesitated briefly. Why? Because for a few moments there was quiet and he had mistakenly thought that she had settled down. Kagome turned and sighed deeply. She saw Sesshomaru's dark silhouette in the same position he had been in from they had retired to sleep. She wondered what else was on his mind other than the obvious. She couldn't tell without seeing him clearly. He had kept so quiet throughout her noisy endeavor to fall asleep. Perhaps he was annoyed with her. No, that could not be it. If he was annoyed he would have subtlety let her know one way or another. Or maybe his indifference was his way of showing her to just stop already. Who knows?

Her eyes widened in the dark as his shadowy appearance moved towards her. She moved into a sitting position as he came beside her and sat down.

After a minute sitting side by side he said one word softly. _"Sleep."_

Kagome shifted her head to Sesshomaru and pointed out. _"I have been trying to do so but I just can't seem to fall asleep."_

That he was aware of. He was witness to it.

They didn't speak after that. He pulled her roughly up against him and she gasped in surprise. His next action was the opposite of the first. Gently he placed her head on his arm. Kagome adjusted her body, letting her upper half fall into his arms. He looked down slightly puzzled and saw Kagome smiling at him. He was about to say something when she raised her head up and kissed him on the lips. He didn't react, her random action had taken him by surprise. Even so, he recieved her warm closed on his briefly, then her lips parted to suckle his own.

Their coupling was soft and sweet in the darkness of the barn. Maybe desperation and fear played its part. They clung to each, other unwilling to let go. When their lovemaking ended, both of them slept.

As the hours passed in slumber, Sesshomaru was awakened by the distant sound of horse's hoofs. When the sound died he reclaimed his spot by the barn door where his vigil continued. After awhile he merely closed his eyes and rested a bit, never letting his awareness slip. In a few hours time he would wake Kagome and then proceed a half mile up the river before heading into the bushes to where the gang had a house, there he would wait for the signal.

Waking the priestess would not be necessary at all, she had gone to bed early and now stirred awake in the pre-dawn hours. He watched her straining her eyes at the spot where he occupied. It was pitch black and he knew that she could not see him well. He waited, for in a short time her eyes would grow accustomed to the dark, when it did she smiled at him.

She smiled at him once more before she got up and folded the blanket into a neat bundle and placed it inside her bag. She was aware that she needed to be quiet so she walked slowly and silently over to him and then sat down. Their sides touched and his warmth seeped into her. Kagome liked the feeling of being this close to him, she snuggled more closely into his heat. He didn't object, he gently took her hand and placed it on his knee.

In time Kagome's head came to rest comfortably on his lap and he stroked her untidy ebony hair with his claws. Soon she felt a tension in him so heavy that it squeezed the muscles in his leg tightly together, forcing her to remove her head from his leg.

She had a pretty good idea why he had become so tense, but even so she needed to hear it from him. She shifted her head and nervously asked. _"What's the matter?"_

With his hand still in her hair he replied _. "We should depart from here now, before we do I must request that you listen to me carefully and abide by what I say."_

She shook her head and made a hard swallow, her mouth suddenly becoming dry with trepidation.

Sesshomaru continued. _"Our enemies are close by but we cannot act until the others have given their signal. Stay in the shadows and use your bow to strike down any one that tries to flee, do not engage the enemy in close combat and remember to hide if things get chaotic."_

She did not respond to him immediately out of sheer nerves. She had wanted to follow him into the lion's den and now that she was here she was as scared as a rabbit.

 _"Kagome?"_

He called when she seemed to have entered into a trance like state. Her eyebrows rose in surprise as she was momentarily lost in thought; she shook her head and then smiled uneasily at him.

 _"I will do as you have asked of me, I will not get in your way,"_ she replied softly, trying to reassure him of her sincerity to assuage the glint of doubt reflected in his eyes.

Sesshomaru tried to feel the optimism from her words and a pain pierced him. He hoped that he had not been a fool by letting her come along. He had reinforcements ready but if Kagome escaped his protection by acting wilfully, then it would become difficult for him to aid her in the melee.

She stared into his eyes and knew instinctively what he feared so she tried once more to put him at ease.

 _"Sesshomaru I promise to comply with your wishes...I?"_

She hesitated and he got up, there was no more time for conversation.

She paused a moment longer and then reached for her bag and bow. At the door Sesshomaru turned to her.

 _"Are you ready Kagome?"_ He asked.

She nodded and took a deep breath. _"I am, let's go."_

They walked side by side along the river in the darkness for about half mile before detouring into the bushes. Kagome felt her hands visibly shaking as tension so thick hung in the darkness. Sesshomaru felt her fear and grasped her hand holding it steady. She let out a strangled breath and then continued on.

Within the shadows he felt his accomplices move. He jerked on Kagome's hands and led her between some trees.

 _"Stay here,"_ he quietly said and gazed at her long. He could not help worrying about her because of the battle that would soon follow.

Kagome looked down and stared at her hands, alarmed by what she had seen in his eyes, he worried for her safety. She closed her eyes as he tilted her chin up to look at him again. She was afraid that she might betray some emotions with her eyes, afraid that she might plead with him not to leave her side.

His eyes left her face briefly as he saw how troubled she was though she tried to be brave in an effort to hide it from him. He sighed softly; it was too late to do anything else now other than to remind her not to act recklessly.

 _"Remember your promise to me, keep it and don't make me regret having you here."_

Her eyes popped open and she gazed at him startled.

 _"I promise,"_ she said hastily.

He nodded in spite of not being completely assured of the guarantee. As he continued to stare at her lovely face in the dark he was positive of one thing, his feelings for this human woman was like nothing he had ever felt before. Overcome with emotions he caressed her cheek with the back of his hand and then left without saying another word.

She watched as he became one with the darkness and felt as her heart saturated with love for him slumped. Just now she'd felt the tangible force of his love for her heavier than usual though he had not expressed it with words.

The tree that hid her she rested against it for awhile in thought. Today she would prove to him that he could trust her. After her brief musing she knelt by the tree and strung her bow with an arrow, mentally preparing herself to fire at any one running away. Adrenalin pumped through her veins; the nervousness and excitement of the upcoming battle swept through her body, it trembled and she took a deep breath to calm her nerves and waited.

Before long she heard an explosion and then anguished screams echoing in the air. She saw a roaring fire lit up the darkness revealing all of its secrets. The back of a huge house burned and in the chaos and confusion she saw as the occupants ran maddeningly from the flames. Sesshomaru using the weapon of savage surprise to great efficiency gave her a greater understanding of his mind and gained her respect.

She heard the clash of steel on steel, blade on bones and the gut wrenching cries of death and her heartbeat intensified. Smoke wafting into her nostrils burned like sulphur and the echoes of death crippled her mind with fear. The battle directly up ahead was brutal; who wasn't slain dispersed and tried to escape was cut off by demon males on horseback. The few who were lucky enough to break away from them ran right into another trap. She was hiding between the trees. She got up took aim and fired.

Arrow after arrow flew from her hand and she never missed. Some of the bodies fell heavily to the ground while others vanished like smoke. To the right of her she heard a noise and looked. Sesshomaru was engaging a slender looking demon in battle, while the last remaining criminal tried to sneak away.

Her head spun with the warning that she was given as she pondered what to do. Waves of doubts washed over her and she felt faint with anxiety. She couldn't let the bandit escape while Sesshomaru was occupied and she was out of arrows. How was she going to fulfil her duty? She looked in the direction of Sesshomaru one more time and then back at the escaping man and made a quick decision.

The last thing she heard as she turned away to pursue the thug was Sesshomaru asking his opponent. Why? It was a curious question that gave her reason to pause, but sadly there was no more time for thought if she wanted to keep track of the man. She made some movement to the left to keep out of sight and tripped over something, she cried out when she saw that it was the broken body of a man.

There was no joy in death. Kagome felt sickened as she made her way past the corpses. She gritted her teeth at the sight of the horrible waste of life and limb. She looked around thinking regretfully that no purpose could justify such carnage.

Perhaps if she had not seen the lifeless bodies of four young girls strewn along the dirt she might not have taken the situation personally. The bandits got what they deserved. How dare they abduct and rape innocent girls repeatedly and then throw them away like garbage. She looked away from the bodies and silently urged herself on in spite of the nausea, stealthily following the man into the bushes, all she had as a weapon was a small knife that she had carried to peel fruits.

 **sksksk**

Sesshomaru circled the red haired female fox demon cautiously; she had been one of his lovers and they had not parted on good terms over twenty years ago.

Hatred filled her up as she prepared to engage Sesshomaru in battle. She noticed how silently he moved and took care to follow his every motion.

 _"You asked why,"_ she said angrily, and lifted her head to meet his eyes with a tight smile on her lips. _"If it comes to it my lord I would prefer to live my life as my own than to conform to society's rules."_

He arched a taunting brow as she raised her sword in readiness.

 _"Be that as it may,"_ he responded sternly, _"innocent lives were lost here today and the blame lies at your feet, prepare yourself for retribution."_

She laughed aloud and then retorted in scorn. " _You dare judge me, a cold cruel bastard such as you!"_

He smiled and lifted his weapon to chest height. His very confidence caused her to shiver, but silently she swore not to fail. She would make him pay dearly for destroying her group, for taking her innocence all those years ago and then tossing her aside like a common whore when he was done with her. She would never have guessed that after all this time their final meeting would culminate in not only one act of vengeance but two.

A slight unease made him unsteady, he could not sense Kagome's presence any longer. Moments ago he had felt her aura close by and now he did not know what to think. The other members of his group were busy fending off the remaining bandits and his woman was nowhere in his sight or senses.

She attacked suddenly seeing his obvious distraction. Steel clashed and she felt the reverberation of the blow travelling all the way up her arms. She drew back and parried when he thrust lower. Again she parried as his blade rose near her throat.

She was backing away from him she realized as her blows had no effect on him. Ruthlessly he gave no pause and no mercy attacking her again and again. Her hands shook just to keep him at bay and from directing his sword away from her head and body. Viciously his sword fell again with so much speed and force that she had to dive for cover.

He attacked again just as she found her footing and stood up. His blade descended with his power and might. She could not imagine how he could wield such a large and heavy sword with such speed and grace.

 _"Surrender!"_ He commanded.

A wicked smiled played on his lips. Killing her would be easy he thought, but he would not do so now. He needed her alive to weed out the remaining members of the gang. Information he had would suggest that the group's activities spread as far as up north.

 _"Surrender,"_ she repeated slowly, the word was as bitter as bile in her mouth and she spat out her reply nastily.

"I _will never surrender to you again, the last time I submitted myself to you I was left with nothing for my troubles. I am sure a place in hell awaits you!"_

 _"OH!"_

His response was soft, and she jerked back with a cry of amazement as his blade cut cleanly and swiftly through her leather armor, slicing open her yukata and flesh. He had not the time to waste. He signalled for one of his comrades to come over with a hand gesture to further apprehend the female. Kagome was missing and he needed to find her now.

Kagome followed the man at a safe distance, dawn was slowly rising and she could see well now. She couldn't wait for Sesshomaru to figure out what had happened and come in search of her. She knew that he would be angry at her because she had promised him not to engage the enemy and was only to assist him in obscurity. She had disobeyed him.

The thought of him being angry at her broke into her consciousness like fire, filling her soul with guilt. Even though she had acted out of necessity to assist him and their cause, wanting to turn back now was as constant as the breeze caressing her face but she would not.

She had to believe that Sesshomaru trusted her enough to see through her somewhat deceptive actions and would soon come to find her. The man moved quicker now through the dense forest and she had to hurry to keep up with him. Up ahead she saw what he aimed for; a horse tethered to a tree and he was about several meters away.

The bandit made quick work in closing the distance between him and escape. He approached the horse and untied the reigns securing the animal. Kagome shook her head from side to side frustratingly while she clasped and unclasped her fists. She had to act quickly because if she let the man mount the horse she would never be able to catch him again.

She decided in that one crucial instant to make a move. He was quite big compared to her but she had the advantage of stealth and would not waste it. She could only pray in earnest that Sesshomaru would come and save her before the tall muscular man killed her.

He was just about to climb on the horse, his feet was already in the stirrup when she launched herself off the ground and landed on his back. She wrapped both legs around his waist and held on for dear life. She jerked his head back and bit into his ear. She did not have the heart to stab and kill the man cold bloodedly with the small knife that she carried, so restraining him was her only option until help arrived.

They struggled against each other in desperation, Kagome screamed in agony as the man reached over his shoulders and grabbed her by the head and flung her body mercilessly to the ground. She lay there immobile breathing hard, the very air wrenched from her lungs. She clenched her eyes tightly closed to ward against the horrible pain to her head and lower back.

A shadow passed over her as the sun began to rise. Slowly she opened her eyes to see clear cinnamon eyes looking down into her muddled blue ones. Recognition passed between them at the same time. She tried to scream for Sesshomaru but a heavy hand covered her mouth and a blow to the side of the head took her consciousness away.


	18. Odds and Self Discovery!

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Eyes keen as a hawk's followed small tracks imprinted into the dirt for thirty yards before smaller footprints began to overlap larger boot prints. He stopped briefly and took the opportunity to inspect the indentations more closely to ascertain his findings. To his dismay, Kagome had done the unthinkable by following the enemy.

It was difficult for him to believe what he'd come to learn and he found that he did not know what emotion to express. He was simply too stunned to react; he had cautioned her multiple times to follow his instructions and yet she had acted wilfully. Now his thoughts and uneasiness from earlier had started to worry him. Kagome's scent had simply vanished from the vicinity. He shook his head, discovering that he didn't have much to go on, and the change in weather conditions were becoming more apparent which brought with it a new set of problems.

The sky becoming dark and the morning windier made the air intensely sweet with the scent of jasmine and rain. He would have to double his effort in finding Kagome before the showers came, because if it did any small clues that could tell him something of her whereabouts would be washed away.

Feeling the first twinge of anxiety clutching at his heart he began to search again, only doing it this time more fervently than before. No sooner than the copious feelings of concern attacked him he came across an area where the ground was greatly disturbed and the strong smell of a horse pervaded his nose.

He made quick work of viewing the surrounding landscape and took a deep sniff of the air with his nose upright. The first spattering of rain hit him squarely in the face and he looked back down again. It wasn't hard to put the pieces of the puzzle in the right places now that he'd thoroughly observed the spaces around him.

The zigzagged patterns on the ground along with one set of boot prints told of a struggle and subsequently of one victor emerging. He lifted his gaze and saw four hoof prints leading away from the area and knew with certainty that Kagome had been abducted.

At the very beginning of his search he had been terribly annoyed and angry at her for her stupidity. But the more he followed the path that she had left behind, the less inclined he was to believe that her actions had been foolish. If anything she had done a very brave and reckless thing.

He ignored his interpretation of the events and continued on. He felt the underlying tension in him rise knowing that the priestess could be in grave danger. His own reaction to that knowledge caught him off-guard, causing him to stumble on a piece of log in his path.

He stopped, closed his eyes and took a deep breath to lessen the growing trepidation, though no amount of caution or meditation could ease his frustrations or increase the understanding of the other feelings that she had unlocked within him. Two weeks from home hadn't changed him as much as two days in her company.

He knew he'd wanted her with an encompassing fire, and the very thought of losing her now was an unforeseeable event. He hadn't expected these changes wrought by desire. He had never felt urges this strong before. In the beginning he had been stricken with an unexplainable desire and curiosity for her, and was powerless to stop his heart from feeling the strain.

He who was a battle hardened warrior was losing the fight with a mere woman. But he was conscious in his thinking and knew that not only was he losing the battle with a woman, he was also losing the battle with his heart. He had cursed his emotions when he could not stop the yearning. He had said it was a deep lust that he had felt, and in time when that notion was no longer valid he had deemed it a necessary stage in his life. Being with a tolerable female was nature's way in safeguarding the next generation.

Living beings needed companionship and love was a secondary emotion he kept telling himself. These many months being so intimately close to her brought him contentment and a deeper understanding of the value of life. And yet he'd still believed that what he had felt wasn't love. He cared for her a great deal, much more than he could've ever imagined considering their tumultuous start.

The lies he repeated to himself just now rose up and struck him hard. He felt the pain and confusion smashing into his heart and body so strongly that he had to pause. The combined sensation of tightening muscles in his chest made it that much harder to move. Then slowly he experienced the denial in his head and heart being swept away by a dreadful tide and knew instantly, painfully that he loved the woman sincerely.

He made a couple of steps in haste and stopped immediately afterwards. Out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of a flickering glint. The last rays of sunshine shone on something that bounced off his irises before being covered by massive dark clouds.

He bent and picked up the object bringing it close to his nose, the scent of oranges still stained it. He sighed, painfully aware that the small knife belonged to Kagome. Too bad, the regret whispered across his mind. Immediately he squelched the wayward thought. He made a promise, he would find her again.

Rain, it started to trickle down on him. He had to leave this place quickly if he wanted to find her because harder rain meant the disappearance of any lingering clues.

He hovered slightly off the ground now following the ever fading hoof prints through the forest. There wasn't any resentment to be found in him now. He had made peace with himself and what he felt for the priestess just now. What he felt now more than ever was pent up misery the longer it took for him to find Kagome.

The hoof prints took him through the length of the forest and now he stood on the banks of a river staring blankly on the other side; the gentle spattering of rain disappeared as the heavens opened up and the rain poured. His eyes narrowed, all his efforts ended at the river bank. Searching for her now would be like wandering aimlessly in the dark.

A little humph sound left him before he flew across the river. Nothing would stop him. He would find Kagome even if he had to traverse the ends of the earth and then hell, he would find her.

 **sksksk**

The horrible pain at the back of her head was constant now that consciousness stirred within her and she groaned. Many voices and the smell of food overwhelmed her senses and her eyes flew open. She gazed at the roof in blankness before her mind pieced together her memories.

She gasped when the memories flooded her mind like a striking wind. She sat up, panic and anxiety overwhelming her senses.

 _"Sesshomaru!"_ She roared out his name like the thunder _. "Where are you?"_

In fear and panic she leapt from the bed to land shakily on her feet, her sense of propriety lost in alarm. Her eyes quickly scanned the room, and scattered around it were signs that this was a male's bedroom. A shaver and two rings were strewn on the table along with some books. In the left corner furthest away from a sealed window several yukatas hung from a rack and a muddy pair of boots beneath it.

She glanced at the door briefly and then took the necessary steps to bring her to it. She wasn't thinking clearly else she would have remembered the voices and the smell of food when she had first woken up. And furthermore, her shout of Sesshomaru's name would have alerted everyone in the house of her awakened state. But she couldn't focus on those things now, what she needed to do was to escape.

She made a soft sound of relief when her fingers closed around the door handle and turned, but relief soon turned to dismay when the door opened and she stared at the bare chest of a man.

In fright she slowly backed away from the doorway while her eyes steadily rose to his face in curiousness. The feeling of familiarity returned stronger than before. The gilded bridge of a straight nose, piercing cinnamon eyes, the warm sculpted cheekbones and the curve of a mouth she knew better than she should stared her lovingly in the face.

Unconsciously her right hand left her side to grasp the space over her heart as her lips parted on a gasp of recognition.

 _"You…I don't understand. Where have you taken me?"_ She asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion.

He listened thoughtfully and then a smile stretched his lips.

 _"Kagome san I never thought I would see you again, and now that you are here I fear I will never let you go!" He_ said, moving closer to the startled woman.

His response sent terrible shock-waves to her brain in an instant. She whirled away from him, her heart pounding with incredulity and dread. She wanted to run but it was too late for that. Her feet froze to the floor, numbed by the weight of his gaze and the incredible circumstances.

 _"What are you saying, you can't mean...?"_

Her reply was awkward, she felt lost, confused and alone. Her own laughter rose up in her throat but she couldn't tell if it was a reasonable response to his declaration or the beginning of hysteria.

Never in a million years would she have thought that after meeting and having sex with this man in Edo a year ago, that she would be standing in his presence now, at his mercy, and hoping with all of her heart and soul that Sesshomaru would come and save her.

She figured her only glimmer of hope lay in a miracle. Of course she was not that lucky. Her luck hadn't been running in the right direction for miracles lately. She turned and faced him again, disbelief clearly written all over her face.


	19. Ghost!

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Panic consumed her with an unyielding force as her eyes wide, roamed over his smiling face. Her heart rate tripled, blood pooled to her brain and she felt faint with the flood. Seeing him again sapped the substance from her legs and she swayed.

She brushed trembling fingers across her brow where the pulse ticked rapidly. This was too much; the past should not be smiling at her. She shuddered as if cold and then spun away from him in an instant. She couldn't face him, not just yet; not when she was so ill-prepared and nervous. This man represented a smudge that she had wiped away from her mind. Her action an absolute necessity. Her life with Sesshomaru depended on it.

The shock of his nearness continued to make her unsteady and she gritted her teeth to find her balance. There was no good reason for him to see how anxious he had made her, so until she had better control over her emotions she would not seek his face again.

With her back to him she hid the spiking fear. She would not let him see her terrified eyes or the unsteady gait of her form. She wouldn't let him witness just how distressed she was and how maddening the need in her to escape was. For now it would be best if she maintained her composure. She wasn't a fool, and would not with her actions give herself away.

She took multiple breaths, softly, slowly. And when her racing heart finally calmed to the point where she couldn't feel it banging against her rib cage anymore, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply one last time. To outwit him and escape she had to remain calm. Nothing good would be gained if she became a weeping mess. It was brief, but she had seen it in the eyes, a man who would not let her go so easily this time.

Act natural, she kept repeating in her mind. Many times in the past while she had travelled the country side of Japan as a teen searching for jewel shards, she'd found herself in sticky situations that had felt at the time almost hopeless. She was kidnapped by Kouga and his tribe, had been attacked and left at the mercy of the witch Tsubaki among other unfortunate circumstances, and yet she had prevailed.

Perhaps it was out of necessity that she had been able to keep her composure then. Or maybe it was because she had Inuyasha and her friends and knew in her heart that they would come and save her had strengthened her enough to hold on?

But she wasn't a teenager anymore, and Inuyasha and her friends were all dead. Still, there was Sesshomaru and maybe he could find and rescue her. She closed her eyes tight, just the thought of him enveloped her entire being in sadness. She had promised him to act cautiously and not let him worry needlessly, and now here she was in the hands of the enemy because she had not kept her end of the bargain.

Why didn't she listen to him? The instruction that he gave was simple enough, all he wanted was for her to be safe. She had known his thoughts, she had seen it there in his eyes that he worried for her and even after giving him her assurance she was painfully aware that he doubted her still.

The spontaneity of her judgment was made in the heat of the moment. She hadn't the time to adequately think things through then. The opportunity to apprehend a criminal had presented itself and she'd taken the chance to do just that. Not once did the thought occurred to her that Sesshomaru would not have founded her in time, and that she would have been abducted and missing him so terribly.

She inhaled deeply yet quietly as thoughts of her unfortunate situation exploded inside her head. Would it be enough; her explanation when they saw each other again that she had only wanted to follow the bandit from a distance until he came? She'd never meant to confront him by herself. Would he believe that she was innocent when the identity of the bandit was revealed and the past stood before them? Would he forgive her if she was forced to betray him?

She sighed heavily as the pangs of regret sunk painfully into her soul and suddenly she felt colder. If she could go back and undo the impetuous blunder she would but sadly there was no do over. Everything was an uncomfortable mess right now and she wouldn't let despair and doubts make her lose hope. It couldn't end this way. She had to somehow find the strength that she needed to make her escape and to set things right.

Sesshomaru was all that she had left in this time and without him living held little appeal. He had removed the fear that had clung to her spirit with his strength. His love and sincerity had moved her to love again. It was a truth that was undeniable and fierce.

In their time together she had developed a better understanding of his mind. No doubt they should be more attuned to each other's feelings. But the need that she has within herself for individuality, stemming from an old flaw would oftentimes raise its annoying head, causing unneeded conflicts between them.

Sesshomaru was a complex being that demanded respect and obedience. She was a modern girl that couldn't fully appreciate the submissive role. It wasn't easy, and in time she realized that he did not want a weak female that did everything that he suggested. He only wished that she would be smart enough to make wise choices, and listen to him when he gave good counsel.

She'd acted impulsively, but it wasn't out of defiance or stupidity. She'd honestly thought that she could've followed the enemy from a safe distance unknowingly, biding her time carefully until Sesshomaru caught up with her. She didn't defy him out of spite or to show him that she was capable. She did it simply to help him eradicate a growing threat to the people and nothing more.

If only she could've perceived the man's cunning, or better yet, had known that he was someone from her past then she would not have followed him. When the moment came she had chosen to stop him instead of letting him escape. But in that one dreadful moment when she'd attacked him, she knew that she lacked the capacity to kill him in cold blood.

The noises in her head grew louder and darker filling her not only with regret but with profound sadness. She knew Sesshomaru's pride and the decision that she had made to go after the enemy that led to her capture placed him in a very precarious position. He would not stop; he would search for her relentlessly, never giving up even if it meant his death.

How could she have acted so foolishly? Did she not know that he harbored strong emotions in his heart for her? And as a demon those emotions would drive him unyieldingly, crush him emotionally if he wasn't able to find her in time and something more terrible happened to her. She didn't want to think on it too much because it honestly scared the hell out of her.

She sighed and closed her eyes tight hoping with everything inside her heart that he would find her soon and thus eradicate her worse fears. However, she doubted that he would be able to locate her quickly, not even she knew where she was. And to make matters worse while she'd journeyed to this place she had a strong sense that it had rained.

Although, she wasn't entirely convinced that what she had felt then was real or a figment of her muddled mind or not, but she knew one thing for certain; if it had rained it would make it difficult but not impossible for Sesshomaru to track and find her. It would simply be an issue of when.

She could feel her kidnapper's gaze on her. He was so close that she could hear every breath that he took. Her heart was beating fast again, and it had little to do with the fear of him and a great deal to do with exposure. She had thought that she had made peace with the past and had put it to rest. Yet she was vulnerable and edgy; this closeness was surprisingly harder than she'd expected it to be. Not that she had expected or wanted to see him again, and even if she did, then certainly this was not a scenario that she'd anticipated.

The platform now was different from the one in Edo though they were the same people and she sensed no real threat from him. But something was off, something seemed different about him. Oh what the hell did she really know? She had been drunk that night. So why then did the odd feeling persist?

It wasn't her intent, but somehow her mind canvassed the night that they had spent together, welling up aversion into her soul. Shell-shocked she licked her lips nervously, because here in his presence she simply could not cast their affair aside as her little secret anymore. Her fingers trembled, and unexpectedly she felt ashamed.

Above the clamour of her mind Kagome heard the sound of his feet moving as he closed the distance between them to her dismay. She felt like running again but resisted the foolish notion; there wasn't anywhere to run to. She sighed; she had to be smart if she wanted to escape him.

Deliberately she fought the urge to turn around and face him knowing that if she acted too rashly or afraid he would immediately become suspicious of that fear. The thought was nauseating; they had been lovers, and thus her fear of him if she should display it would be unintelligent. As of yet he had done nothing more than to abduct her in an opportunistic moment to make her wary of him.

But how could she look him in the eyes feeling so ashamed of what they had done that night; they had been together and yet she could not remember it clearly. Did she embarrass herself by telling him her fears? Or did she make promises to him in her drunken stupor. Oh kami she did not even want to think about it.

She remained rigidly unmoving, and in the quiet and the gloom she felt rising dread snaking its cold unfeeling hands around her mind, her temples pulsed erratically in anxiety. Her eyes widened in panic, and with a slap both hands formed a barrier around the sides of her face. A shuddering breath escaped her lips as clarity finally dawned on her and distress quickly waned.

 _"Lady Kagome are you not feeling well?"_ He asked her, but the suddenness of the question made her unable to respond.

She made a gulp instead and stumbled forward as if she would fall over. A strong arm grasped her shoulder to keep her steady and with a tremulous movement she shrugged the hand off her form.

She had done the unthinkable by sleeping with a man that she'd barely knew and had written it off as an inconsequential episode in her life that she need not think about. But here in his presence insignificance quickly turned into discomfort and her carefully built walls were crumbling under the immense pressure of ignominy. She had been fooling herself all this time as a way to protect her self esteem.

But even with the frightening revelation she could not dwell on it, she had more pressing problems to contemplate. She had to be reasonable, making her assumptions based on awareness as best as she could. Because also, if she acted like this situation was nothing then he would become distrustful of her motives.

It would be best if she played along; watching and feeling her way through the storm before making any move. She had to get it right, one false move and she would be dead in the water. She had to act cautiously as if she was on her own. She wished that Sesshomaru would come and save her now, but she had to be realistic and survive until such time.

His hand brushed her shoulder again, causing her to become more uncomfortable. She held still for a moment with his fingers on her skin, acting hastily would only serve to alert him of her frantic state. Slowly she moved out of his reach then spun around and faced him. She glanced at him, her expression mild but her blue eyes were on fire.

 _"What is your name?"_ She asked him softly, and she could see the effect that her simple unforeseen question had on him. His brows lifted a fraction and he smiled.

Before he could answer she walked to the table and sat down on the single chair beside it. Suddenly she felt exhausted and her head hurt from thinking too much. She was aware that he watched her constantly and it was proving to be a bother. She had no easy remedy for the situation, though she could tell him to stop but that may just aggravate the situation further and she did not want that. She had only one solution and she chose to employ it, she looked away.

He stared at her now and saw the same stunning woman that he was with in Edo in spite of how tired and dishevelled looking she appeared at the moment. True beauty came from within and hers shone all the way through. He moved a little closer, pulling out a short stool from beneath the clothes rack and sat down in front of her.

They gazed at each other briefly; she broke off first, looking down on her hands lying stiffly on her lap. The situation was uncomfortable he knew, hopefully he would be able to put her at ease soon and thus changing the awkwardness into something more pleasant.

The woman in front of him had given him one of the most beautiful memories of his life. After he'd left that morning he couldn't stop thinking about her. He remembered how attractive she had looked even in sleep. Her hair loose tumbled down her back, he couldn't resist so he'd stroked the long thick tresses and had kissed her cheeks before he'd left.

His curiosity about her had grown even stronger, and as he'd taken his leave he'd made a deliberate stop by his cousin's place. The day of the memorial service they had worked side by side and had seemed very friendly with each other. If he needed information about Kagome then the obvious choice would be someone that knew her very well.

To his dismay however, Katsumi had seen them entering the house the night before and had made her own assumptions of the events. She was rather disagreeable about the whole thing and had asked him not to pursue Kagome. He on the other hand had casually shrugged her traditionalist views aside, and had asked her to tell Kagome that he would like to call on her again when he returned to Japan.

The month that he was away seemed to stretch on longer than its days. He couldn't wait to get back. He'd felt at the time that he could have her as a wife because she was unattached. The day that he came back to Edo was a happy one, but the information that he'd acquired was one that he had not anticipated and it had turned his blue skies grey.

It was with a heavy heart that he had left Edo after hearing from his cousin that Kagome had simply rejected his suit and had left the village without saying goodbye. He had felt empty inside, and the pain of rejection had opened up a gaping wound inside him.

If he didn't possess great mental strength he might not have healed from the egregious injury, and after a few days of emotional anguish he had set out to look for her. He would only believe that she did not want him if he heard the refusal from her lips.

Four months of search took him all over Japan and still he wasn't able to find her. It would seem as if she had vanished into thin air. He had no choice but to stop searching then, but in his heart he had held onto hope that they would meet again. Because after her the notion of being with someone else was not a compromise he considered.

He thought of her and their night of pleasure often, her wide passion filled blue eyes, her soft moans and eager movements. She was different and forgetting about her was impossible. No one in this world was like her.

She was passionate with a pure soul, and when they'd touched all the pieces fitted perfectly. Their one night together would not leave his thoughts. He expelled a breath and reached for one of his rings on the table, looking at it briefly, he then placed the round object on the middle finger of his right hand.

He smiled to himself. Finding her near the scene of the bandit's camp was an unexpected but joyous miracle. When she had attacked him and he had unknowingly thrown her forward on the ground. The surprise and then delight on his face he could scarcely contain when he realized who his attacker was. He was regretful that he had to hurt her, but it was the only way that he could think of to get her to come with him quietly.

Kagome listened to the silence in the room for some time, and then finally raised her head. His eyes were steadily focused on her and an odd smile encased his lips. Her eyes then slowly drifted to the corner to avoid his cool stare.

 _"I am called Dr. Saito, but you can call me Ko,"_ he said indifferently. She pulled her eyes swiftly away from the corner on hearing his voice and looked at him again.

She lowered her lashes after awhile, and in spite of herself she gave him a sweet smile. _"Are you a real doctor or is it just a useless title?"_ she asked him candidly.

She watched his jaws loosened and he smiled showing white teeth, and she began to wish that she was as far away from him as she could be. He had an uncanny effect on her, she wanted to hate him but found it difficult to do so.

 _"I am a doctor,"_ he answered quietly.

She was stunned. If he was a real doctor then what was he doing in the company of merciless bandits? She shook her head slightly trying to comprehend what was going on. None of which was making any sort of sense, and furthermore, she needn't stress over it. Saito had the answers and hopefully he would tell her the truth when she asked him.

 _"The place you were running away from was the home of a gang of bandits, what were you doing there?"_ She queried, and he could hear clearly the accusation in her tone.

He chose that moment to stand and her eyes followed him; she stared up at him from her position sitting on the chair. She saw the smile that had previously softened his features vanished, and instead harsh creasing lines surrounded his mouth, and suddenly she wished that she had not asked him that question.

He looked away from her and she watched his eyes as they came in contact with a brown leather bag on the left hand corner of the bed. It looked to be a doctor's bag. She heard him breathed deeply and then he looked at her again.

He closed his eyes tightly as if to shut out a terrible memory, and Kagome wondered what had happened in that place before she and Sesshomaru had arrived to cause him such distress. Her wonder did not last for long; he began to speak, sombrely.

 _"I was summoned to that place two days prior. I was called there to attend to four girls. Had I known that it was such a place then I might not have gone? The truth of the matter is that those girls were savagely raped, brutalized and impregnated."_

Kagome gasped. Could the girls that she had stumbled upon lying dead in the dirt be the ones that he mentioned?

He made a tsking sound as if he was annoyed before continuing _. "All four girls drank the same poison to end their lives rather than live on in misery. Unfortunately the poison that they drank wasn't potent enough to end their lives immediately; they suffered for days before I was called. Perhaps if I had gotten there sooner I could have saved them, but then again they had all cried and had asked me to end their sufferings. They did not want to live."_

Listening to him just now he sounded bitter and sad, and she felt badly for him. Up until now she had not even harbored the thought that he might have been innocent. But how innocent was he really? She had felt a strange vibe coming from him moments ago, however slight it may have been she had definitely felt it.

She stood up, her mouth suddenly felt dry and the need for water was all that she could feel.

 _"I need some water,"_ she said softly.

He nodded in reply and then hesitated a few more moments as if he wanted to ask her something. She smiled nervously at him and him at her before he left the room without saying anything else.

While she stood there alone her mind wandered back to Sesshomaru, he had to find her soon or she had to escape, either way something had to give. She had a bad feeling about all of this. The doctor was definitely hiding something. Maybe it was sixth sense on her part, or maybe it was her spiritual energy that guided her. Whatever it was had made her conscious of the ominous sensations rolling off him and it chilled her right down to her bones.

He was too tense and guarded the entire time while he'd retold the stories of those four girls, and she could feel a different aura emanating from him. His emotion of regret had caused something that he was hiding very carefully to slip a fraction and she had felt the change. She sat back down quietly and closed her eyes, even the silence was better than this feeling of dread.

 _ **sksksk**_

Nothing else mattered to him now that he had been searching for Kagome for almost an entire day. He burned so hot that he thought that a fever might take him down where no sword could ever touch. A curious chill of fear began at the nape of his neck, snaking its way along his spine. He hissed angrily, no amount of fear would hinder him.

He did not care what happened to him as long as he found his woman. Anyone who touched her would die a slow pitiful death. His jaws hardened and his eyes grew as cold as ice. With a furious growl he spun around forcing his way through an unbending barrier. Not even the greatest sorcery on earth or the heavens itself would keep him out. This Sesshomaru vowed.

Ko - light or peace

 **Feedbacks are always welcomed!**


	20. An Unexpected Fate!

**_Please read and review!_**

Sorry for the delay...Lori Baker this chapter is for you...I will try and post at least a chapter a week from this point onwards.

 _ **sksksk**_

Energies strong and electrifying infused the dense barrier making it hard to see or even to breathe. He held his hands up and across his body defensively, not even that provided him with an ounce of protection. Spiritual fires scorched him unrepentantly, burrowing deep within his soul, his sweltering blood surged to a boil and he grimaced as a snarl tore out of him.

In a moment of relief he peered through his right eye and glanced down on his body. He was as damaged as the horrendous pain needling through him. His once spotless white garments were in crimson tatters sticking to his skin with blood and sweat. The oozing lacerations on his arms and torso sizzled with the nauseating scent of bloody seared meat. His stomach turned and the contents of it lunged into his throat. He clenched his jaw and gritted his teeth long, pushing the nausea down rather than up.

He gritted his teeth harder and longer as pain replaced vomit. The sharpness of the ache forced him to his knees. As he hunched over in agony and a moment's hesitation, he closed his remaining eye and breathe deeply. He knew the burning pain would not subside. The barrier was too powerful even for him who had a strong tolerance for spiritual energy. He re-opened his right eye a short time later, the only one that was functional and shakily stood upright.

He could not deny how much of a struggle it was to move through the spiritual fog. On his command he placed one foot in from of the other and slowly progressed forward. The further into the barrier he travelled the more his eyes burnt and his one good eye had started to fail him. The muscles along his shoulders throbbed with his legs; he braced himself, he could barely stand. The prickling heat all over his body left him quivering in pain but he was wholly consumed by what he saw despite the mind numbing discomfort to his person.

Up ahead, perhaps another hundred feet or less stood a mansion the likes of which he had never seen before. Not only was it ancient in architecture but pristine as if time had not touched it.

The frown upon his brows deepened in reflection. How could this be? He had been a wanderer almost his entire adult life, he knew the land well and had never stumbled upon this image before him now. Even in the days of Naraku he had been to this island, these woods and mountains many times and yet seeing this dated building here was a first. The thought skittered through his mind before being pushed aside in the face of far more pressing matters. Who was powerful enough to erect a barrier infused with spiritual energies, and why was Kagome taken to such a place? None of those concerns were substantial enough to deter him. He would break through the barrier regardless of the strain and save her.

The barrier not only served as a deterrent to keep intruders out but as a tool against his kind he observed. He glanced down and immediately reached for Tensaiga. It had the powers of the heavens permeated into its sentience. Maybe it could provide him with the strength that he lacked at the moment.

The sword's power caressed him the instant that it was unsheathed. He felt as the gashes deep within his flesh began to mend and as his strength increased. Relief washed over him; now maybe he would have an easier time dealing with the troublesome barrier as long as Tensaiga's energies remained vibrant.

But no sooner than the comforting thought passed through him the sword's powers started to wane. He became rigid sensing the problematic occurrence. The blade's glow continued to dim until it vanished altogether. Once again he was at the mercy of the barrier. He didn't think on it too much although when the first fiery heat licked against his flesh and burned him, he glanced up in the heavens briefly, summoning the last vestige of his will and then pressed onwards.

 _ **sksksk**_

It was miniscule at first but she had definitely felt it. She had sensed Sesshomaru's flailing youki just now. She remained quiet, perfectly still so that she could hear her own heart beating in the silence.

There it was again, only this time it lasted longer and was more erratic. She sensed his anguish and desperation fisting inside his chest. In panic she leapt from the chair and immediately reached for the door handle and turned. This time however it was locked.

She didn't care anymore, her sense of self preservation vanished with the ceaseless banging on the door.

" _Let me out of here this instant, I am not your prisoner. Let me out now!"_

Her cry was one of desperation and anger. Ko heard her screams on the way back with the water and couldn't figure out what could have caused the drastic change in her mood. He was taken aback but in spite of that he raced the remainder of the way down the corridor, all the while wondering what could be the wrong with her. When he'd left minutes ago she was alright.

His hand covered the door knob and quickly turned it. The bamboo container with water spilled from his hands and onto the floor as soon as the door opened, Kagome had made a mad dash pass him without looking back or stopping.

He made after her reflexively and then abruptly halted, he need not chase her down, she wouldn't get far neither could she escape the island. He started to move again; he was in no hurry now that he could feel the presence of an intruder.

Kagome ran wildly looking for a way outside, then suddenly stopped just before she came crashing into four men standing by the door, behind them she could see the sky. She was breathless as she felt Sesshomaru's distress which made her angry and a sense of savagery glossed over her entire body.

She trembled with anticipation as she made up her mind. She would not let them stop her. She swore that if any of them tried to apprehend her she would kill them. She straightened up and took a deep breath, glared at them with hatred while they eyed her with mild amusement.

She observed that the gentleman to the right of the doorway kept glancing up and over her head. She spun around without any warning and saw Ko standing at the end of the passage with a staff in his hand much in likeness to his fore grandfather Miroku's own. The only difference that she saw was that while Miroku's staff had a wooden rod his was copper.

As she gazed at him standing in the shadows of the passage she could feel his powers; powers that he had deliberately hidden from her from the very beginning. He had the strength of a very powerful monk. She almost gasped aloud but shook her head instead; she couldn't focus on that right now. Sesshomaru's aura had weakened even further and she needed to get to him quickly.

She swallowed thickly the unease that had formed into her throat, and as much as she did not like to beg, it would be impossible without Ko's help to get pass those men to aid Sesshomaru.

She closed her eyes for a second, willing her nerves to calm and her pride to disappear and then looked at Ko again.

" _Please let me go to him, if you have any feelings in your heart for me at all. I beg you, grant me this please."_

He gave her a sympathetic look and then nodded his agreement, not because he was amiable but because she would pay for his kindness later on.

Kagome spun around facing the men in a glaring defensive stance, this time they slowly parted from the doorway so that she could pass. She didn't hesitate, she ran swiftly pass the men breaking into the outdoors.

Out in the open she felt Sesshomaru's presence more strongly but still wasn't able to pinpoint his whereabouts immediately. She ran around the compound looking frantically for him, she had to find him; he was hurt because of her. The thought made her more desperate and she shouted out you him.

" _Sesshomaru if you can hear me please say something."_ Her trembling voice was a wail of desperation rather than a shout.

Tears streamed down her face as she searched for him. She could feel the barrier stronger now and sensed something strange about it. Though vague she had sensed a foreboding vibe surrounding the island and it filled her with dread. She had to be very cautious she decided, because all she felt was an incredible fear for the both of them.

She ran to the back of the property going much further away from the house than before. She glanced around wildly in despair, she thought that she'd heard a sound in the opposite direction and rushed there. The time it took for her to get to the other side, panic almost overwhelmed her senses; his aura thinned dangerously low. She felt sorrow and helplessness welling up inside her so strong that she had to shake her head to clear it away. She cried out to him again, her voice breaking with grief.

 _"Sesshomaru where are you, if can hear me say something please."_

He knew that she was there; he had heard her cries and had sensed her before now. But his body was weak and he could barely move. He had only a smidgen of power left and purposely he let him it escape him so that she could find him, realizing also that he would not be able to move again.

His power carried to her even though it was frail. A relieved sigh escaped her and quickly she turned back the other way. She could see his silhouette ten yards inside the thick barrier. How had she missed him before she wondered? Perhaps in her desperation and worry she had overlooked that area. Well it didn't matter now; she had found him at last.

Without thought she threw herself against the barrier and rushed the distance to him. He was all torn up and bloody, weakened by the barrier's strange spiritual energies and was barely breathing. He was lucky to be alive.

She positioned herself behind him and placed both hands under his arms and pulled. She couldn't think about how heavy he was as she dragged him out of the harmful energies. She had to get him clear of the barrier and quickly heal him.

Never having to use her powers on demons except maybe to maim or kill them she was extremely fearful, but Sesshomaru needed her now and she would not fail. Her powers were intricately linked to her emotions and there was no way she would hurt him. She loved him too much for that.

He opened his eyes momentarily and flashed her a tortured smile, his face twisted in agony and sadness. She clung to him with her arms wrapped tightly around his neck and cried. She heard his moan of distress and let him go.

There wasn't any time left for grieving if she wanted him to survive. She knew that the others watched her suspiciously as Sesshomaru's life force drained away the longer it took for her to do something. His youki could not heal his body now; looking at the state he was in and knowing his abilities he must have endured a lot inside the dense barrier for quite some time. Kagome frowned, feeling sorry for the both of them but also knowing she had to act now.

Calling forth her powers she closed her eyes and meditated a minute. She had to get this right. Sesshomaru was badly burnt and his energies depleted from the strange barrier. She could not afford to make a make a mistake at this crucial point that would only add to the problem at hand. She emptied her mind of the anxieties and concentrated deeply on her mental strength and reiki. Her powers warm tingled as it flowed from her heart and body. It was deep as the blue sea and as wide as the sky. It was love that strengthened her and love that made her cry with sadness.

He could feel Kagome's energies flooding through him; it was as cool as ice and as warm as the sun's glow. He could feel the damage reversing and hence his strength growing. He opened his eyes and gazed at her and she smiled at him. Relief washed over her, he would make it.

Ko stood there and watched the woman that he loved tenderly caring for a demon, the slight on his soul was a flaming ball of fire burning him from the inside out. He clenched his jaw holding firm as jealousy engulfed him.

He knew this demon by reputation and through documented history data Inuyasha and all the individuals who had defeated Naraku were hailed as heroes and deserving of respect. But the heart could be a fickle thing when it came to love, and try as he might to hold the envy and jealousy at bay, he could not.

The recklessness of his decision of his own heart was evident in his bitter soul. He would not allow her to completely heal him. He wanted her for himself and the demon would be the currency that he used for the exchange.

He straightened; his purpose clear. Adjusting his outer robe he strode up silently behind Kagome and brutally yanked her away from the silver haired demon. She screamed as he sunk his fingers into her shoulder and dragged her mercilessly away from Sesshomaru.

He threw her aside and his accomplices held her down as she thrashed and wailed. Sesshomaru raised his head in alarm. Still weakened he tried to get up to assist her. But before he could lift his torso off the ground, one of Ko's companions pulled a knife from his boot and plunged it deep into his abdomen, twisting it.

Kagome screamed in terror and her struggles began anew. Sesshomaru eyes narrowed in maliciousness after glancing at a terrified Kagome and the knife embedded into his gut. He lunged forward and slammed his hand through the unsuspecting man's chest. He gasped, the unmistakable sound of death gurgled from his throat with his blood.

Sesshomaru lifted himself off the ground and ripped the knife from his stomach as he stood, blood oozed from the gaping wound as well as from the sides of his mouth. He took shaky steps moving forward, the others backed away slowly from the gruesome image. Kagome used one hand to cover her mouth to stop a sob, while the other outstretched reached for him.

Kagome felt the tension in Ko lifting and a new wave rose to mesmerising heights. His spiritual power rushed to the fore as Sesshomaru advanced. She had to make him stop, the time that she had spent healing him was not sufficient enough and he was still very vulnerable. If Ko attacked him now he may die.

" _Sesshomaru please stop!"_ She cried, desperation lacing her tone.

He glanced at her and she saw it in his eyes then, just as she'd suspected. He would not stop, he would prefer to die rather than be weak in front of his enemies. A wretched sob rushed from her belly and into her throat, it stopped, her teeth chattered just to hold it in. Sesshomaru's hand reached for Bakusaiga and a horrific screech tore out of her being.

" _Nooo!"_

Ko raised his staff provocatively and sent a wave of spiritual energy straight at Sesshomaru hitting him in the chest.

She watched as time slowed and the blast struck him. For an instant she saw as the pulsating air lifted him off the ground, his body spinning and jerking as it flew meters away before slamming in the unpaved ground. She screamed as his body impacted with the earth feeling the pain crashing into her being as though she was the one hit...She gasped out every painful breath that she took as she stared at Sesshomaru's unmoving form. Her tears fell without breaking and her head moved left and right as she cried for him in sorrow.

As she watched and cried she made a decision. She would not let him die; she would not stand by helplessly and do nothing. To the man's utter surprise that was holding onto her as if his life depended on it, she whirled on him and kneed him viciously in the groin. He let her go and grabbed his crotch, agony crumpling his features; he jerked back a couple of steps before doubling over into the dirt.

This was her chance and she would take it. She ran swiftly towards Sesshomaru but before she could reach him hard hands clamped down on her shoulder pulling her back. She flicked her head to the side and saw that it was Ko. She screamed at him to let her go but he did not. Hatred darkened her eyes and she folded a fist and struck him hard in the face.

The blow twisted his face to the side, and then slowly his head came forward to meet her eyes. In her rage she noted that he was calm and did not move to retaliate.

Panting harshly she yelled at Ko. _"How could you do this, he is the only family that I have left in this time…Why did you have to hurt him? He only came here to rescue me."_

Ko heard the desperation in her voice, saw the tears that she shed for the demon and knew that she loved him dearly. But his heart was deeply wounded by this woman and perhaps having her here could help to repair the damage. She had given him something that he had only dreamt about in his fantasies. He was under her spell and would not let her go this time.

Heaven help him and he hoped that the kami's would forgive him in lifetimes to come if not this one. Looking into her wet blue eyes and watching her quivering pink lips he had to have her for himself. Even if he had to bribe her to stay, he would take her any which way he could get her.

He glanced on the unmoving demon and sensed that he was still alive, if he was going to make his move he had to do it now. He raised his staff again, Kagome body's tensed and her eyes widened in shock when she realized his intent.

She shook her head vehemently holding onto his staff. _"You can't, you can't kill him, I won't let you."_

He chuckled never taking his eyes off her and said. " _I could kill him and there would be nothing you could do about it,"_ he smiled again, _"if you want him to live so badly stay here with me and become my wife."_

She felt the strangeness of the proposition flooding her mind and she felt incredibly strange herself. She was cornered and hadn't a way out except to exchange her freedom for Sesshomaru's life. She shook her head sadly; she would give up her life for him in an instant. Then she smiled a bitter smile, he had just risked his life to save her.

She glanced at him again perusing all his injuries which were many and possibly life threatening since the attack on him by Ko. He was a very powerful being but not even he would survive if his wounds weren't treated soon. He had deep burns all over his chest and arms that still sizzled, a stab to the abdomen that bled profusely and his youki exhausted. He might not last the night.

She shrugged Ko's hand's off her shoulder and began to walk towards Sesshomaru. However, she stopped after taking a few steps.

" _I will agree to your compromise if you agree to let me heal him and take him to a safe place. I will not leave anything to chance. I must know that he is safe."_

The sadness in her voice was evident and he felt remorseful but not even his conscience allowed him to change his mind. This place had secrets that only another as powerful as himself could unlock. The fact that he also loved her was a good omen.

She stood over Sesshomaru's form gazing down at his torn up body, it was a sight so pitiful that profound sadness swept into her heart and soul. She dropped down beside him and tenderly placed her hand over his heart and cried.

" _I am so sorry Sesshomaru, I am so sorry."_

Tears spilled from her eyes and onto his face so that it would appear as if they both cried. She wept until she had no more tears left to cry, and her throat so dry that it burned. She had little time left with him and all she could do was cry.

Through the sadness and despair she heard Ko's voice. _"I will agree to your terms."_


End file.
